


Card: Declined

by KleoHoney



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Apartment, Controlling, Daddy Kink, Dark!Steve Rogers - Freeform, Dry Humping, Dubious Consent, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff, Groping, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lingerie, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Misogynistic Ideas, Money, Obsessive Steve Rogers, Possessive Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy, Tags to be added, Unhealthy Relationships, baby fever, reader is broke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 56,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KleoHoney/pseuds/KleoHoney
Summary: Having a Sugar Daddy was meant to make everything easier. And at first, is it, until Steve Rogers makes sure it’s not.*Includes dub con among other potentially triggering scenes, please read tags before proceeding*
Relationships: Dark!Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 544
Kudos: 959





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** : This is a DARK fic portraying unhealthy relationships and unhealthy views. I am not condoning any of this behaviour in real life. PLEASE READ THE TAGS! No one is forcing you to read this fic; if you don’t like it, do not go any further. Thank you.

You banged your fist against the electricity metre, praying for a miracle. The lights flickered once, twice, and then died out completely.

Shit.

You sat back on your heels and pressed your hands to your eyes. There wasn’t much daylight left and now you had no electricity. That meant no microwave, no lights, no phone, no heat from the travel radiator, nothing. The only thing that stopped you from crawling into your sleeping bag on the sofa was the hunger gnawing incessantly at your stomach.

There was no money in your bank. Not even a penny. You checked anyway, just in case, and confirmed your lack of funds. It was pathetic. At twenty-two years old, weren’t you meant to have things figured out? 

You didn’t even have college as an excuse. No, all of your funds had been spent of getting as far away from your family as possible (not that you’d had much in the first place). A shitty job at the corner store and another at the library was not enough. You worked days at the corner store and nights at the library; where would a third job fit in?

You wiped furiously at the tears dripping down your face. You’d been wishing for things to get better for a while now. Things weren’t gonna change by themselves but you had hoped.

Reaching for your phone, you tapped in the passcode and went straight to your contacts. You had a grand total of five numbers and three of them were coworkers. Your finger hovered over the contact and you chewed on your lip, thinking. She _had_ said that you should call her any time you needed help. You had hoped the day would never come, but here you were.

You pressed the phone icon and held the phone to your ear. Each ring made the urge to hang up even stronger, but it was getting darker and you had no desire to sit in a dark apartment for the rest of the night.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling humiliation prickle your skin, “I...I have a bit of a problem.”

Peggy hummed knowingly. “Let me guess. Electricity is out? Oh, or is it the water?”

“Electricity.” you bit out. “Water isn’t gonna be on for much longer, though.”

“How much do you-“

“No!” you snapped. “I can’t accept any money, Peggy. I-I was just wondering if I could come stay with you for a few days. Until my pay check from the library comes through.”

Peggy sighed and you could picture the annoyance on her face. This had been an argument ever since you’d met, two years ago. Peggy hated watching you struggle, and she had more than enough money to give so why wouldn’t you take it? 

You had your reasons. Whether they were good ones was a different matter. Either way, your own pride and determination would not allow you to take a single penny off of anyone else. Even the thought of it had a blush rising to your cheeks.

“Darling, you can stay with me any time you like.” Peggy sniffed. “I would like it a whole lot if you ditched that place and just moved in with me-“

“I can’t.” you cut her off. “Pegs...you know I can’t. Independence is important to me.”

“It’s alright to let other people help you. It’s okay to need someone else.”

You gritted your teeth and didn’t answer. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“I’m sending you an uber.”

“I’ll walk. I love you, bye.” you hung up before she could argue. 

You grabbed the torch from the kitchen counter. It was an essential round here. Even when you’d paid, the electricity had a habit of going out. The landlord was an asshole and was always tinkering with things that definitely should not be touched. The health and safety hazards in this building were through the _roof_. They’d been the cause of many arguments between you and Peggy. Once she’d even gone after the landlord, and he’d threatened to kick you out.

Flicking the torch on, you went into the ‘living room’ and grabbed your bag. You filled it with your over-night essentials and a few sets of clothes. You stuffed your purse in too, even though you knew it was empty.

Your apartment consisted of three rooms. A kitchen, a living/bed room and a bathroom. You had a sofa which double as a mattress for your sleeping bag, two suitcases full of stuff and that was about it. No TV, no decorations and the walls were the same colour as they’d been on the day you moved in. Only now there was weird patches of mould from the apartment above you.

Walking out bought you great relief, even though you knew you’d be coming back. The bag was light on your shoulder. You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your worn jeans and swallowed down the feeling rising in your gut. You couldn’t stay there. Not tonight.

Four sets of stairs later (broken elevator, of course) and you were pushing out the doors and heading off. The cold air was like a smack to the face. You pulled your hood up and hunched your shoulders, trying to retain warmth. You were wearing two hoodies, not even a coat to your name.

It was easy to get lost in the crowd. You like to people watch, make up lives and stories to pass the time. Your phone wasn’t the kind that could store music, in fact it had a keypad. The keypad was so worn that most of the numbers and letters were no longer visible. 

Your breath came out in clouds. Worn shoes did nothing to protect your feet from the cold, but luckily you’d bulked up with three pairs of socks. They softened each step and you promised to never wear just one pair ever again.

The walk was a long one but you needed it. It helped you to cool off and prepare yourself for Peggy’s grilling. You weren’t sure how much longer she would put up with you living there. Every day was an argument and you didn’t want to lose your best friend because of a filthy apartment.

Eventually you made it to Peggy’s building. Two security guys were standing outside. One of them regarded you with clear disdain, a look that said ‘I don’t think you should be here’. Luckily, the second one recognised you. He unlocked the door and held it open for you, nodding his head and offering a polite smile.

“Enjoy your evening, ma’am.”

“Thanks. You too.” you darted inside, shoving the hood off and warming your face. 

It was almost unbearably warm and you itched to take off one of your hoodies. Your fingers wrapped around the straps of your bag and you dipped your head. You were used to looking out of place here, but it never got easier. Peggy had lived here for almost the entire time you’d known her, so your face was familiar to a few people. 

The elevator was coming down so you rushed over, anxious to get out of sight. A nice, hot shower sounded amazing. You’d been washing regularly but always in cold water. Lukewarm, at best. Peggy would feed you, too, even if you didn’t ask for it. Your stomach cramped painfully and you pressed your hand to it, trying to block out the pain.

The doors opened and you let two people out before getting in. A man followed after you and stood by the buttons. He looked over at you, surprise flickering on his face before he pulled on a carefully neutral expression. 

“What floor?” his voice was kind.

“Um, the seventh, please.” you averted your gaze.

He was incredibly handsome. Blond hair, clean shaven and baby blue eyes. His lips were pink and his skin was smooth enough to have you wondering if he had a skincare routine. A black suit, perhaps a little too snug, shower off a figure that he had clearly worked for.

You, on the other hand, looked like shit. You supposed you were pretty, but sleepless nights and skipped meals had you looking on the pale and sickly side. Your clothes were either too tight or far too big, obviously hand-me-downs. They practically drowned you.

You kept your eyes on the floor. The elevator seemed a little slow today, and your blush was steadily increasing. What if he called security on you because he thought you broke into the building? You would melt into the floor if that happened. Fidgeting uncomfortably, you shuffled away from the man as discreetly as possible. God, what if you smelled?

“Have I seen you here before?” the man asked. He looked relaxed, leaning in the corner of the elevator and watching you carefully.

“Um,” you bit your lip. You had definitely never seen _him_ before. “I don’t think so. I’m here to see a friend.”

“A friend?” he looked interested, suddenly, and he straightened. “Maybe I know him.”

You frowned at that. “Her. She’s a woman.”

“Oh.” he seemed at ease, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “ _Oh._ You meant just a normal friend.”

What other kind of friend was there? You hated talking to strangers in elevators. There wasn’t enough time to properly talk, only to get confused and hopelessly flustered. 

You shrugged, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “I guess so. You live here?”

“Mmmm,” he said, “I’m Steve. Here, my card. It’s got my personal number on the back.”

You blinked at the card, confused and a little irritated. There was a ‘ping’ and then Steve was getting out. 

You held the card between your fingers. “Why would I need this?”

Steve looked surprised again, but then he laughed. “Oh, you’re real special, Elevator Girl. You’ll figure it out. Say hi to your friend for me.”

Then the doors slid shut, and that was the end of it. The Real End, because you had no intentions of calling the number on the card. Did he think you were a prostitute or something? He was arrogant and assuming, unbearably so and you’d only spent two minutes with him. 

You slipped the card into your pocket and hoped you’d never bump into him again.

***

You spooned another mouthful of spaghetti in your mouth and sighed in bliss. Your hair was still damp from your shower and you were in the fluffiest dressing gown you’d ever seen. Add a full stomach on top of that? This was heaven, baby. 

Peggy watched you over her own bowl. She was itching to say something and you understood that, but right now was about getting your stomach full and warm. You are until your belly almost hurt, and then you licked the cutlery clean. You’d been raised with better manners than that but you could hardly help yourself.

Peggy put her spoon down, her own plate still mostly full. “How much longer do you think you can do this?”

You peered up at her. “Do what?”

“Go with out food. Go without electricity, without water, without sleep, without friends.” her tone was sharp and unforgiving. “I’m bloody sick and tired of seeing you like this. Something needs to change, darling.”

This was where you usually argued, or made up some bullshit about looking for new jobs. Instead, you sipped from your water and kept yourself in check. Peggy wasn’t wrong. All this time you’d been making excuses. 

Slowly, you said, “What do you suggest?”

Peggy looked pleasantly surprised for a second, and then she looked excited. “Let me give you some money while you look for a new job. Come live with me for a bit.”

Your shoulders dropped and you felt a week’s worth of sleepless night catch up to you all at once. “I can’t do the money thing, Pegs.”

Peggy pressed her lips together. “I was the same when I first moved here. Not a penny to my name, not any friends, rubbish apartment. All of it.”

“And look at you now.” you gestured to her. “A strong, independent, intelligent business woman. I can do it, too.”

Peggy’s jaw ticked. She had more to say, only you weren’t sure what. This was the most open you had felt. Partially because you knew that Peggy had felt how you felt, done what you had done to survive. You felt like you’d almost been laid bare, and you struggled to pull yourself back together.

“I had help.” Peggy’s voice was no-noncense and factual. “It is not possible for the average person to survive, alone, in New York. I had...a boyfriend, of sorts, who helped me out. If it wasn’t for him then I wouldn’t be here.”

Peggy had never mentioned a boyfriend before. Your brows furrowed. Peggy was not the kind of person to brush things under the rug and pretend they hadn’t happened. If someone had helped her this much, then surely she’d have mentioned it before.

Slowly, it dawned. “You...had a Sugar Daddy?”

“Mmmm,” Peggy’s lips twitched, “I suppose I did.”

You sat back, gobsmacked. It wasn’t that you thought bad of her, or anyone else who had a Sugar Daddy. You were envious, in fact, that she had the ability to accept money and care. 

“What was it like?”

“Satisfactory.” Peggy smiled. “I was twenty and he was forty five. Old enough that he wasn’t too interested in certain things, if you know what I mean.”

“Then how did it work?” you asked. You’d been under the impression that that kind of relationship always involved give and take.

“He was lonely. I lived with him, to keep him company, and he paid me for it. I cooked, cleaned, and looked for a job. It was amazing, honestly.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” you said, “but I bet that’s rare.”

“Probably.” Peggy sipped from her wine. “But there are a lot of men out there who are into it. More than you’d think. You would have your pick.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Peggy, seriously. I wouldn’t even know where to look.”

“Darling, you only need to open your eyes.” Peggy laughed, brown curls bouncing with the movement. “Once you start looking, they pop up _everywhere_.” 

She dropped the subject after that and poured you a glass of wine. It was a Sunday tomorrow, the one day you didn’t work, so you downed two glasses without a second thought. Being curled up on the couch with your best friend was a real treat. 

Peggy stuck on a movie, and you found your mind was wandering. It was surprising to hear Peggy had had a Sugar Daddy, even though it hadn’t been sexual. You frowned when you realised you were actually considering it. As if. You, who could barely even accept a meal from a friend, let alone money. Having a Sugar Daddy was not possible for you.

You were staying in the guest room. Peggy had made it up for you, even though you wouldn’t have minded doing it yourself. The sheets were soft and thick, far more luxurious than a torn and raggedy sleeping bag. She had given you some extra pyjamas, and you left your worn clothes near your bag on the floor even though Peggy would probably try to wash them for you. You tossed and turned for a long time, and when you dreamt, it was of the sharp edges of a business card and blue eyes.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn a little more about what it’s like to have a Sugar Daddy.

By the time you woke up, Peggy had been up and about for nearly two hours. You were reluctant to leave the comfort of the bed; it was incomparable to your sleeping bag and sofa combo back at the apartment. 

Peggy knocker on the door and stuck her head around. She was bright and chipper and it almost made you cringe. You were not at all a morning person.

“Morning. Sleep well?” she didn’t wait for your answer. “There’s coffee in the kitchen. I’m going out for a bit, work needs me and I’ve got shopping to do.”

“I’ll do the shopping.” you said. “C’mon, Pegs, it’ll make me feel better.”

“I don’t see how walking round a crowded store on a Sunday will make you feel better,” she replied, “but I’ll allow it. Money is on the side.”

Before you could protest, she’d disappeared and shut the door. You scowled and shook your head. You’d have to use the money, too. There was no way you could buy enough shopping for the both of you. Back at the apartment, all the cupboards were bare apart from instant noodles and some mouldy milk in the fridge. You tried to eat free fruit from the store whenever you went but it felt too much like desperation so you rarely did. 

The coffee in the kitchen was lukewarm but you still drank it. In the last few years, you’d definitely developed the habit of drinking and eating whatever was put in front of you. You made a face as the coffee went down; it was bitter. Beggars can’t be choosers.

You got ready after that, staying in the shower until your skin was pink and your fingers pruned. It didn’t go cold, not even once. You borrowed Peggy’s body wash, the vanilla cake scent washing over you pleasantly. 

It took an hour, but you finally left the shower. When you went to get dressed, all your jeans were missing. In there place was a brand new pair, no holes, no bleach stains, none of that. Tears welled in your eyes but you pushed them down. Peggy was in for an earful later.

You pulled them on, admiring yourself in the mirror. It had been a long time since you’d had something new. These clearly weren’t cheap either, but the tag had continently been missing when you’d checked. You tugged a red hoodie on after checking it had no unravelled string or bleach stains. It looked almost nice, but you still didn’t fit in with the others who lived here.

Pushing your anxieties aside, you grabbed a handful of plastic bags and shoved them in your bag. You paused by the money on the counter, staring at it for longer than necessary before finally pulling out your purse and sliding it in.

 _I’ll give her back the change,_ you swore. Finally, you left the apartment. The door locked automatically behind you and you tucked the keys into your back pocket. You walked down the hallway, heading for the elevator. You felt the happiest you had in a long time. 

You rocked on your feet, waiting until the tell tale ‘ding’ came. You slid into the elevator, glad to see it was empty. The ride was uneventful. Until you got to the fifty floor.

Steve stepped in. He was on the phone and you avoided his gaze. He looked like someone important, his suit the most expensive thing you had ever set eyes on. The tie was slightly crooked. You wondered if he’d been in a rush.

He noticed you in the elevator. He stood by the buttons but didn’t press them, seemingly absorbed in his phone call.

“I have to go, I’ll be there later.” he said. “What? I’m never late. I know how important this is. Yes, yeah, I’ll see you.” Finally he put the phone into his pocket. 

You tilted your head. “Aren’t you going to press a button?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” he laughed, reaching around to press without looking. “So. How’s your friend?”

“Good.” 

“Glad to hear it.” he stared at you. “C’mon, aren’t you gonna give me anything here?”

You startled, blinking at him. “I...don’t know what you mean.”

Steve regarded you with a look you couldn’t identify. You felt like he was trying to get a read on you. You wondered what he would find.

“You really don’t.” he finally said, rocking back on his heels. “Are you going home?”

“No,” you said without thinking, “I’m staying with my friend for a few days.”

“Why?”

“I don’t see how it’s your business.” you snapped. You were not in the habit of airing your business to irritating strangers in elevators.

Steve laughed. “I suppose it isn’t. Do you still have my card?”

“No.” you lied.

He laughed again, his cheeks a little red. “Sure. I want you to call me.”

“Why would I do that?”

Steve’s eyes glinted, and suddenly all the air seemed to get sucked from the elevator. He’d gotten closer at some point, effectively crowding you in the corner. 

He grinned and his teeth looked sharp. “I don’t know yet.”

The elevator doors opened and you felt like you could finally breathe. Without a second thought, you pushed Steve away and hurried out. You weren’t scared. Intimidated was more the right word. It was almost comical, how fast you walked through the lobby. The security at the door gave you an odd look as he opened the door for you. 

You rushed down the street, eager to be out of Steve’s view. It felt like he was looking at you a little too closely. 

***

The store was a distraction that you were grateful for. It was easy to tune out as you wandered from aisle to aisle, getting essentials as well as stuff for meals. You planned to cook for your entire stay. You didn’t want Peggy to think you were taking advantage of her, even though realistically you knew that thought would never even cross her mind. 

You weaved through shoppers, grabbing what was on your limited list. You were quick. It had never been your thing to linger and look; you preferred to be in and out. Looking at things you couldn’t afford was a sure fire way to ruin your mood. 

Peggy had left you more than enough money, and the shopping came to just over $100. You hadn’t spent that much in years. It was almost hard to part with the money, and the cashier gave you a funny look. You shoved the shopping into your bags and prepared yourself to lug them back to Peggy’s.

They swayed uncomfortably around your ankles but you remained cheerful. A few days with a full stomach would do wonders for you. Good sleep, too. Even when your fingers began to ache, the cheesy smile didn’t fade from your face.

You stopped by the entrance to the park, biting your lip. Peggy probably wouldn’t be home yet, so you were in no rush. 

Being in the park was like being in a completely different country. It contrasted greatly with the grey skyscrapers and colourless buildings. You hadn’t been here in a while. It was nice to get lost amongst the greenery, even though there wasn’t that much. It was early winter, after all. 

Once more, the thought of going back to your apartment invaded your mind. It was going to be a cold one, this winter, even with the limited heating. You didn’t have the money for thick blankets, either. Of course, Peggy would never find out about this. You never told her anything, really. She just had some magical way of finding things out. 

You hissed at the cold bite of the metal bench but sat down anyway. You released the bags and stretched your fingers. They were red where the plastic bags had been pulling on them. It felt nice to press them against the bench. 

Peggy was right. You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead. God, she was always right. You needed something, a change in job, a new hobby, something. Something had to change. You were delusional to think that you could survive like this for much longer.

You bit your lip. It was dry and cracked from you constantly worrying it. The whole Sugar Daddy thing sent terror racing through you. It was unknown territory and you had only Peggy to guide you through it. But didn’t you need something unknown? Something new? 

You needed to talk to Peggy about it, seriously this time. Something had to be sorted before you went back to your apartment. Living like that was not an option. Having a Sugar Daddy for a few months would give you some time to save, time to work things out. It was the most hopeful option you’d come across yet. Conventional, no. Beneficial, yes. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense. 

You had an aversion to accepting things of other people. Gifts, money, food. It almost physically pained you to let Peggy help you out, and you had known her for a long time. Could you accept things without guilt from an old man? 

You straightened your back and bent to pick up your shopping. There was a couple across the park, laughing loudly and hugging. Your eyes drew to them naturally. If you worked hard, got yourself stable, then maybe you could have something like that one day. 

Because it didn’t matter if you could. You _had_ to.

***

“Do you need a lift?”

You yelped, the sudden movement of the shopping bags nearly sending you to the floor. You stared, unblinking, at the black car pulled up next to you. The man from the elevator, Steve, was hanging out of the window. His tie was completely gone now, and he held his phone in one hand. It vibrated every few seconds. 

“I-are you following me?” you demanded, feeling defensive.

Steve laughed. “No, doll, this is fate at work I’m afraid. Lift?”

“What? No.” you started walking.

Steve said something to the driver. The car was going at snails pace, right next to you. People were beginning to look and you felt your cheeks flush pink. Disbelief flooded you when you glanced back. Was he for real? You’d seen him a couple of times in an elevator and now he wanted you to get in his car? Fat fucking chance.

“You sure? Looks like it’s about to rain.” he looked up at the sky and whistled. “I’d hate to leave a pretty woman out in the rain.”

“I am not getting in that car.” you retorted.

Truthfully, it did look like it was about to _piss_ it down. You’d lingered in the park a little too long and now you would pay the consequences. But you’d swim back to Peggy’s before you got in the car with that man.

Steve shrugged. “That’s understatement. Wait up a second.”

You gawked as Steve opened the door and got out. He chucked his phone in the car, despite it’s incessant ringing. He jogged to catch up with you, stopping only when he was by your side. You watched as the car pulled off, hoping that it was going to turn around and he would get back in. It didn’t.

“This is harassment.” you kept your voice low, people were still watching. “What is your problem?”

“I’m curious about you.” he shrugged again. “Are those new jeans?”

You began walking. You were fast but Steve was a lot taller than you and his long legs let him match your pace with ease. He was watching you from the corner of his eye but you stubbornly ignored him. 

“Are those new jeans?” he repeated.

“Yes.” you hissed.

“Who bought you them? I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend?”

“I can’t buy myself new things?” you couldn’t, actually, but he didn’t need to know that.

Steve gave you a wry look. “You want an honest answer, doll?”

“Don’t try to shame me.” you bared your teeth. “So what, I’m broke. Like almost every other young woman in New York. You’re the weird one here.”

“Maybe I am.” he gave you a look, like there was something he wasn’t saying. “You like new things?”

“Who doesn’t?” you muttered, hurrying across the street and making Steve jog to catch up with you.

Steve didn’t reply to that. He tried to take the bags off of you but you snatched them back. He only laughed and made a joke about you being a ‘vicious kitten’. You resisted the urge to sink your claws into his handsome face. He made attempts at conversation the entire time and you made sure to shoot him down. You almost thought he might be into you, but you dismissed the idea quickly. Men like this had no interest in women like you. 

You breathed a sigh of relief once the building came into sight. The shopping bags made your hands feel as if they were about to fall off. The security men paid no attention to you, but they nodded at Steve and he clapped a hand against their shoulders. Of course he was chummy with building security. Maybe he would tell them not to let you in next time. He seemed like he could be petty.

Steve caught up with you at the elevator. When the doors opened, you were relieved to notice another woman get on with you. She was eyeing Steve up like a tiger would a hunk of meat. You hoped that was enough to make him forget about you. It was easy to shuffle into the corner and fade into the walls. 

“What floor again?” Steve asked you.

You ignored him and reached around to press the button yourself. He huffed a laugh and shook his head, pressing his own button. The woman looked between the two of you but you kept your eyes fixed forward. Steve didn’t ask her, and after a second or so she scowled and pressed the button herself. The tension made it hard to breathe.

Luckily, the first one to get out was Steve. He got out and then turned around and made the universal signal for ‘call me’. It took you off guard and you laughed, stopping instantly at the surprised look on his face. The doors rolled shut and you could still see his stupid smile.

The woman turned around. She looked you up and down. “Just give him what he wants, honey.” 

Your eyebrows creased. You felt a headache coming on. “What?”

She chuckled to herself. “A man like that doesn’t just go away. He doesn’t seem the type to be ignored.”

The woman got off after that, leaving you to stare after her. She was probably right, but that was all the more reason to ignore Steve. Maybe it was time for him to learn that you can’t just get everything you want. Especially not other people. That was the epitome of entitled.

Walking into Peggy’s apartment bought sweet relief. You dumped the bags on the counter and went to the bathroom. Then you returned to the kitchen and put everything away, putting aside what you needed for the dinner tonight. Chicken pie sounded amazing, and you drank a glass of water to curb your hunger. 

You went to your room after that. It didn’t feel right to stay in the living room when Peggy wasn’t there. You found yourself looking through your jeans from yesterday and pulling out the card Steve had given you. It had a company number on the front but sure enough, there on the back, was a hastily scrawled number with his name next to it. You felt your lips twist with distaste. 

You held it for a minute, glancing between it and your phone. His phone probably couldn’t receive texts from your old brick. That was if you even had enough credit left over. Calling Peggy had bitten into most of it. 

You shook your head, feeling ashamed to have even been considering it. He probably wanted a quick fuck, and you were definitely not that kind of woman. Gritting your teeth, you ripped the card in half and tossed it into the bin. Never would you demean yourself that way. You were the only thing you had left. 

***

Peggy came back an hour later, filled with gossip about her day. It was a wonder she was able to put up with half of the idiots she worked with. Peggy Carter was the brains of her office, and she didn’t even need to say it. Sometimes you sent jealous of the intelligence and confidence that seemed to leak out of every pore.

You listened to her talk over dinner, laughing easily and finding yourself really enjoying her company. It was truly an honour to have her as a best-friend and you would forever be grateful for her. She had refused the change from the shopping but you had slipped it into her purse when she wasn’t paying attention.

“So,” she swiped a finger through the gravy on her plate, “have you given it anymore thought?”

You knew what she was talking about. It was a good job she had bought it up because you weren’t sure you would have been able to.

_Not if I could. I have to._

“I have.” you spoke carefully, feeling anxiety rising within. “Where do I start?” 

Peggy seemed to be struggling to keep her excitement in, but she managed. “A dating site.” 

You wrinkled your nose. “Like Tinder?” 

“No, no,” she waved her hands, “one specifically for arrangements such as these. It’s far safer and more efficient.” 

You chewed on a piece of chicken, trying to digest everything. “How is it?” 

“Anyone looking for a Sugar Baby has a background check. The amount they make, where they live, criminal records too. There’s also no chance of you being messed around.” 

“What about me?” you sat forward. “Do they check those things for me, too?” 

“Yes, but the most important it how much you make. Some people like their sugar babies to make a lot less than they do. It allows for more spoiling and dependable.” 

You weren’t sure you liked the sound of that. Depending on someone else was a big ask for you. But it wasn’t like you had to chose a man you weren’t comfortable with. This could work. You would make it work. 

“So, say I match up with a man. Then what?” 

“You discuss things, like the limits and what’s okay and what isn’t. Over text or in person, it doesn’t matter.” 

You pushed your plate away. “How long does it take for them to approve your account?” 

“It’s all done online. A day, maybe? If you sent them off tonight then you’d likely be ready tomorrow morning.” 

You eyed the laptop sitting on the counter. When you looked at Peggy, she was already looking at you. Her cheeks were rosy and she looked almost proud. It made you feel a little silly so you looked away. 

“Right,” you clapped your hands and moved to the laptop, opening it up. “Let’s get on with it, then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you think! Thank you😘x


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You dive into the world of Sugar Daddies, albeit reluctantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you think! x

It was well past midnight. Both you and Peggy were curled up on the sofa, watching a reality show and giggling at all the drama. She’d convinced you to take tomorrow off work and you had obliged, though the niggling feeling of guilt in your cut wouldn’t fade. It felt like a sleepover, a proper girly one, and you sipped from your glass to stop yourself from laughing madly. Your life had so far proven to be unpredictable and you almost looked forward to what would come next.

It had taken a mere half an hour to get all the information sent off. You’d been embarrassed, having to type in your income in front of Peggy, and you’d tried not to notice the way the smile flickered on her face. She had reached over and grasped your shoulder, squeezing. 

“Not for much longer.”

That had been the push you needed to tap the button. Four hours later and you were still waiting for regret to make an appearance. You hoped that it wouldn’t. 

_’Ding’._

Both you and Peggy turned to look at the laptop. The screen had gone dark but now it had lit up, and you could see a notification. Peggy grabbed your knee and squeezed. 

“I think that’s for you.” she grinned, her lips stained red from copious amounts of wine.

You went to the laptop like a thirsty person went to water. Sure enough, there was an email. You clicked in the password, biting down on your chapped lip and reading carefully. 

Your account had been created! They had sent a long your password (you could change it once you logged on) and your user name. It was just your first and middle name. They had also sent a request that you add at least four pictures to your profile asap. 

Peggy was watching you from the sofa so you have her a little wave. 

“All good, darling?” she asked.

“I think so,” you said, “do you have any pictures of me? I need them for a profile.”

“I do. There’s a file of pictures of you and me, there should be some of just you on there.”

“Great. Thanks, Pegs.” you flashed her a smile and then bent down, getting back to work. 

You went to the website and logged it. It looked like any other dating website and it made you feel a little more comfortable. The main rules were no nudity in profiles and no harassment or outing anyone to the public. Apparently a lot of the Sugar Daddies were important people; doctors, lawyers, CEOs, actors. It made sense. They were the people with too much money and no idea what to spend it on.

Before you finished setting up your profile, you went through a few of the men’s. You wrinkled your nose when you saw that most of them were over fifty and not at all appealing to you. Oh, well. Beggars can’t be choosers.

You scrolled through them, trying to get a general idea of what these men were like. A common factor or something. There wasn’t one. They all wanted different things; some company, a girlfriend, a wife, a slave. The list went on. They all offered different amounts, too, and different benefits. How could you choose? What if you did and then something better came along?

You shook your head. At the minute, anything would do. The lowest you had seen was $500 a month and even that was more than enough. Your finger hovered over the ‘match’ button, but all you could see was the unflattering picture on his profile. You sighed and scrolled on. The man would have to be a little bit handsome, at least. Maybe that was a little too much to ask around here.

Clicking on ‘My Profile’, you set the rest of it up. Age, height and salary was already on there. You added your likes and what you were looking for, as well as a few pictures from Peggy’s files. They were good pictures, you had to admit, but they brought on a tinge of sadness. They had been taken in a much better time. 

As an after thought, you began to type out what you had to offer. You typed out a few different things but none of them felt right or truthful so eventually you stopped. It wasn’t like you actually had much to give.

Tilting your head, you mulled it over. Maybe it would be best if you were just truthful. Taking in a drop breath, you began to type. You typed that you were new to this, and you had no clear boundaries. You said that you were willing to try a multitude of things, and talk over things in person if someone was interested. You wanted to have fun with this.

You sat back, satisfied with your profile. You updated it, looking nervously at the face smiling back at you from the screen. It had been a while since you had felt that carefree and you longed to feel it again. To feel anything that wasn’t misery and worry. 

“All done?”

You looked at Peggy over the rim of the laptop. You signed out and turned off the laptop, closing it with a tired but grateful smile.

“Yep. I’m shattered.”

“Me too.” she came into the kitchen area, grabbing both your glasses and placing them in the sink. “I’m at work tomorrow. Use your time off to get yourself out there.”

“You honestly think this will work?” you asked.

“Darling,” Peggy laughed, confident and assuring. “By the end of tomorrow, you will be all set up. That is a fact.”

You gave wobbly laugh. “I really hope so.”

***

Peggy had already gone when you woke up. You didn’t bother with a shower, instead sliding on some ratty sweats and pulling your hair out of your face. You made coffee but didn’t drink it, instead attempting to nibble on a slice of toast. Your stomach growled in protest, not used to being that full all the time. Peggy was too good for you.

Throughout your breakfast, your eyes kept straying to the laptop. The urge to log onto your account was almost unbearable but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. It had been less than ten hours. It wasn’t like the men were going to come flocking.

You gave in, eventually. The rest of your toast went into the bin, though you felt guilty about it. The laptop seemed to take forever to turn on, and it took even longer for it to log in to your account.

_Six notifications_

A slow smile spread across your face. Okay, this was definitely a start. Five out of six had already messaged, and you clicked on each profile to check them out.

One lived in the UK, so that was automatically a no. Two of them were in their sixties, and that was a little too much for you at twenty two. Another had messaged in a completely different language, and you were beginning to feel a little put out. 

When you clicked on the last one, S_Rogers, it wasn’t with much hope. The profile picture was of a man in a suit, though his face was just out of shot. It was just his jawline, and a trimmed beard. His profile said he was 38, which was the youngest you had seen on here. Money wise, it said TBD, and it said the same for benefits. That was a little off putting but this had been the most promising profile you had seen yet. His location even said that he lived in New York, though he had homes abroad, and that made your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. That was pretty damn lucky. 

He had messaged two hours ago. Excitement and trepidation mixed in your gut, and you made the quick decision to make a cup of tea before you responded. This was like a business deal, right? So it made sense that you had to have a clear head.

You sipped from your tea and it burnt your tongue. Returning to the computer, you were surprised to see that S_Rogers was active. You took it as a sign, and you finally clicked on the message notification.

 **S_Rogers** : Hey, doll.

It was simple, and it filled you with relief. It was only just setting in that this was a normal person, with maybe a few different kinks here and there. That was okay. You could do that.

**Me:** Hey 

He read it almost instantly. You were thankful; you weren’t sure how long you could wait. Anticipation was making sweat bead on your forehead. 

**S_Rogers** : I’ve seen your profile and I have to say, I like what I see. 

**Me** : I wish I could say the same. There isn’t much on yours. I suppose you’re one of those important people 

**S_Rogers** : I could potentially be recognised. Does that scare you? 

**Me** : I’m not sure. I’ve never done this before.

********

You went back and forth with him for a while. Rogers has done this before, though it had been purely out of convenience. He had needed a date for a few events and discovered that he had enjoyed spending money on women. Amongst other things.

********

********

********

**Me** : Like what?

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : That kind of thing is best discussed in person. I haven’t really had a chance to explore too many aspects of this kind of relationship, if I’m honest, but I have ideas. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

You licked your lips, finding them dry. It was obvious what he was talking about, but you had to ask. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**Me** : I assume you’re looking for a sexual relationship as well, then? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : I don’t always, but I am interested in one with you. In fact, you seem to be a lot of what I like. You don’t need to worry. I take care of my partners _very_ well.

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**Me** : Oh? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

The nerves were getting to you a little. It was beginning to feel very real.

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : But like I said, this kind of thing is best talked about in person. Do you know where Taylor’s Coffee is? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

You did. It seemed as if you lived a lot closer than you had expected. Or, at least Peggy lived close to him. This was beginning to look increasingly convenient and you were loving it. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**Me** : I do. Why? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : How about a date, then? Tonight at 6? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**Me** : It does. I’ll meet you there. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : One last thing, doll. Do you have a PayPal? Can you send me your details? 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

You did, but you hadn’t used it since your iPhone broke a year ago. It wasn’t like there was money in there, anyway. Rogers’ questions were obvious. You knew why he was asking, and your fear of taking money from people flared up. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

You looked around Peggy’s apartment. Clean, neat, homey. It didn’t scream money but it was tasteful. You wanted what she had. You looked back at the screen and the little green dot by his username. You knew what you had to do to get it. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**Me** : I do. Here. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

You added your details and then clicked send, cracking your knuckles. He didn’t reply for a few minutes, and you wondered if it was actually some kind of scam. Well, he was gonna get any money off of you. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

**S_Rogers** : Check your account. It’s just a little to tide you over until tonight. I’ll see you then, doll. I look forward to it. 

************ ** **

************ ** **

************ ** **

He went offline after that, so you didn’t bother responding. You sat at the table for a while, tapping your fingers on the surface and mulling over the conversation in your head. 

When you checked your PayPal, there was a startling $200 from S.Rogers.

***

Peggy got home shorty after four. You filled her in on the mysterious Rogers, and she approved but told you to be careful. 

“$200?” she blinked. “For what?”

“Nothing. He said it was to ‘tide me over’, what ever that means.” you shook your head. “I haven’t had that much money in an account for over a year. Pinch me if I’m dreaming.”

“Have you spent any?”

You gave her a sheepish look, sinking down into your chair. Peggy slapped you over the shoulder, shaking her head.

“He seems insanely well off if he’s willing to check $200 around like pocket change.” she eyed you, looking you up and down. “Do you know what I’m saying? I’m saying you need to get used to it, darling.”

“I will.” you insisted, mostly to yourself. “I was wondering...could I please borrow a top or something? I’ll wear the new jeans but I haven’t bought a fancy top.”

You didn’t even _own_ a fancy top.

Peggy giggled and pulled you up. “That’s the spirit. Let’s get you all prettied up, not that you need much.”

Peggy was all too happy to drag you into her room. She went to the wardrobe and disappeared inside. Blouses and shirts cane flying out and you struggled to catch them, laughing madly the entire time. They all looked casual but pretty. It reminded you of when you’d tried your mother’s clothes on as a child.

Five o’clock was looming and you had yet to choose a top. Peggy had shoved black heels on your feet, surprisingly comfortable, and made you practise walking in them. It wasn’t too difficult, though you did stumble at first. The last time you had worn heels was well over three years ago. 

Peggy threw a white blouse at your head. You gave her a look but didn’t protest. You held it up and scanned it over. It had a slightly lacy collar and black buttons, but everything else was a creamy white colour. It was nice but not too much, and you slowly nodded at Peggy.

You paused. “Isn’t this...slightly see through?”

Peggy grinned deviously. “Darling, that’s the whole point. I know you own a black bra, at least. Also, the key word is _slightly_.”

“Don’t forget, Pegs, this guy might be ugly and rude.” you solemnly said. “We can’t get our hopes up.

“We can.” she insisted. “Now go get washed up.”

You obliged and tried not to drag your feet behind you.

The shower was rushed but satisfying. When you got out there was a bottle of vanilla perfume on the side. You rolled your eyes but used it anyway, spraying a generous amount on your clothes and wrists. It was subtle but yummy. 

The blouse fit a tad bit snugly, stretching slightly over your breasts. It wasn’t obvious unless you were paying attention, and it worked in your favour. By the time you had the heels on, you were feeling like an entirely new woman. You liked it.

You had ten dollars in your purse, so you slipped it into your back pocket along with your phone. The coffee was expensive at Taylor’s so you would probably just get a water. It wasn’t really a date, more like a business meeting. Nonetheless, you found yourself looking forward to it. 

Peggy’s eyes were shimmering when you stepped out into the living room. She nearly flattened you with a hug, holding you tight before pulling away.

“You look gorgeous. _Happy_ ,” she said. “I want to see you like this more often.”

“Maybe you will, after tonight.” you offered her a shy smile. “I’ll see you in a bit. Love you, Pegs.”

You left after that. Your phone told you it was 5:30, leaving you enough time to walk to Taylor’s. You ignored the elevator, heading instead for the stairs. It was quicker, you didn’t want to be late.

It was warm outside, but not unbearably so. It gave you an excuse to forgo a coat, other than the fact you didn’t own one. With your purse and phone in your back pocket, you almost skipped along the pavement. This could be the start. The start of the rest of your life, the start of your happiness. No matter what anyone said, money _did_ buy happiness. 

You made it to Taylor’s with five minutes to spare. You slipped in through the door, the enticing smell of coffee making you hum. One glance at the prices but you right off. There was plenty of vacant tables, but you chose one right in the corner, tucked out of sight from most people. It made you feel like you were doing something bad, something dirty, and you supposed you were.

You ended up getting a glass of water, just to keep yourself busy. You were too scared to people watch, just in case they looked back. You wanted this to be discreet as possible. 

Nothing could have prepared you for Elevator Steve walking in and making a beeline for your table.

He held up his hand before you could open your mouth. “Yes, I know, it’s me. Don’t be mad.”

“I don’t believe it.” you quietly said. Humiliation was burning through your blood and your face felt as if it was on fire. “Is this to get back at me?”

“What? No.” Steve shook his head. “I tried to give you my card, remember? Well, there I was, waiting for you to call. And you didn’t. I thought that maybe I had got you all wrong.”

He paused for effect. You didn’t say anything. You had nothing to say.

He continued. “So imagine my surprise when I see your face pop up on the website.”

“I didn’t even know what you meant.” you said. “I thought you were being a jackass. Oh my God, were-were you asking to be my... you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Steve said. “I saw you, clearly feeling out of place and on the defensive. Worn clothes, tired, yet still the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen. How could I resist?”

You took a gulp from your water and set it back down. Maybe you had been a little oblivious, but even if you had known his intentions you still wouldn’t have accepted. What kind of woman accepted proposals from strangers in elevators? 

“Are you serious about this?” you squeaked. You felt oddly intimidated, given that you had held your own the last two times you had seen him. 

Steve straightened in his seat. His hand disappeared into his coat pocket, and you frowned when he brought out his wallet. You nearly protested when he reached across the table to get yours. He held up a finger. Steve opened your purse and smoothly slid in $50 from his wallet. 

Steve reached across the table, surprising you by taking your pale hands in his warm ones. He stroked his thumbs over yours. All you could think about was how dark his eyes were.

“Let’s talk.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Steve get into the details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you’re thinking! Stay safe😘x

Steve went to order his coffee, leaving you to stare after him. You felt almost tempted to walk straight out but the $50 in your purse had you feeling too heavy to move. He kept glancing back at you, checking you were still there. Steve Rogers was a handsome son of a bitch, there was no denying that. Considering your other options, it was definitely best if you at least heard him out.

Steve came back to the table carrying two cups of coffee. You put your hands up to refuse but he shoved the cup into your hands with a stern look. It did funny things to your stomach to you took the coffee. The mug was warm against your hands.

“So,” he dumped a packet of sugar in the cup, “who’s going first?.”

“You are. I don’t really have anything to say yet.”

“That’s fair.” he pushed the mug to the side and leaned on the table with his elbows. “I want a girl who needs to be taken care of. Financially, sexually, all of it. I’m a strong believer in men taking care of women, but most women find it too pushy or irritating.”

“It is a bit pushy.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Don’t be difficult, doll. Have you spent the money I sent earlier?”

You averted your eyes. “No.”

“None of it?” he looked surprised. “Why not?”

You twiddled your thumbs, feeling embarrassed. At this rate your cheeks were going to be permanently red. “I’m not doing this for fun, Steve. I have to do this if I want to survive. It’s taken me this long because- because I don’t like accepting things from other people.”

“A girl who needs help but has trouble asking for it?” he looked amused. “Why is that kind of appealing?”

You curled your lip. “Don’t be an ass. I just need... _help_ while I get on my feet.”

“You don’t need a job.”

You gawked at him. “What?”

“You won’t need a job.” he stirred his coffee. “I’ll provide enough for you to be able to save. _More_ than enough.”

“But my independence-“

“You can depend on _me_.” Steve insisted. “That’s what I want from this. If you have a job, you won’t be available when I need you.”

You swallowed. “Need me for what?”

“Dates, company,” he smirked, “other things.”

You blanched. “I’m not sure about the sexual aspect.”

“Honey, I’m more of a giver than a taker.” he gestured to you. “That’s why I’m so into this. I want a girl who’s just mine.”

Truthfully, it didn’t sound _awful_. The most off-putting part was the no job thing. Then again, maybe you would have time to take an online college course or learn some new skills. You could prepare yourself for after all this.

“What are you thinking?” Steve’s hands were back on yours, pulling them away from the mug and into his own. “I want to know _everything_ that goes on inside that head.”

“I...could I let you know tonight?” you asked. He was sitting far too close for you to be able to think. He was wearing some kind of aftershave and it was making your mind hazy.

“FaceTime?” he suggested, pulling out his phone so he could get your number.

You laughed wryly and pulled your brick phone from your pocket. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, doll.” he shook his head. “I’m gonna walk you home. There’s an Apple shop a few blocks from here and we can drop in.”

“Steve.” you hissed. “I-I haven’t even said yes. What if I say no?”

“Then I’ll have enjoyed coffee with the most gorgeous girl in the world and you’ll have a shiny new phone.” he winked. “C’mon, honey, it’s my pleasure.”

Steve helped you out of your chair, the perfect gentleman. Very different to his behaviour in the elevator. His hands were huge and he placed one on your back to steer you from the shop. You could feel the heat of it through your blouse and you shivered. He definitely noticed.

You were sure you were going to say yes. Nevertheless, you wanted to be away from him when you made the final decision. It had to be the right one. You didn’t have the time to be making wrong decisions. It could get you kicked out of your apartment, cost you your jobs, put you out on the street. 

Steve’s hand slipped into yours. He glanced down at you cheerily and began to swing your hands slightly. You tried not to laugh.

“Steve,” you slowly said, “what are you doing?”

“I desperately want you to say yes.” he shrugged. “I’m trying to tip the scales in my favour. Is that illegal?”

You rolled your eyes and looked away. You were glad for the distraction. Thinking about your life always guaranteed a tension headache. Looking up at Steve, you wondered if you’d ever get a tension headache again.

Some part of you hoped that he would forget about the phone, but then you saw the Apple in the distance and tensed up. This somehow felt more real than the money in your purse and PayPal account. This was what the money could get you.

“You’re all tense, doll.” Steve squeezed your hand. “I don’t think you know how much I want to do this. I wanna fuckin’ spoil you.”

“I’ve never been spoiled before.” you murmur.

In fact, you had never even _seen_ the inside of an Apple store before. It was all clean cut lines and blinding white light. It looked _expensive_. Instantly you felt out of place. 

Steve took you to the table full of iPhones and you felt beyond intimidated. He seemed amused by the look on your face and he slung his arm over your shoulder. It oddly made you feel a bit better, like you were out of the spotlight.

“Which one, doll?”

“What?”

“Which one do you want?”

Your hands were actually shaking. It was ridiculous and you felt childish. Your head fell back against Steve’s shoulder and you looked away. “I can’t.”

“This one, then.” Steve went with the flow.

When you saw that he was reaching for the most recent model, that pulled you out of your mini crisis. You put your hand on his chest, eyes widening when you caught sight of the price tag. 

“God, no, Steve. I can’t let you buy me that.”

“Honey, that is literally _all_ you have to do.” he brushed stray hairs from your face but you barely noticed. 

Steve was dead set on this. You felt a little light headed and more than sufficiently embarrassed. You closed your eyes and gritted your teeth. Your arm shot out and you pointed randomly.

“That one.”

Steve’s arm tightened around you. “Say that again.”

“I want that one.” you looked up at him. “Please?”

“ _Yes_.”

And that was it. Steve called an assistant over, who went into great detail about the phone but it went in one ear and straight out of the other. You watched Steve handle it all, eyes transfixed on the shiny card he slipped out of his wallet. He kept one arm wrapped around you and you were glad because you were shaking. 

Steve thanked the assistant and then carted you out of the shop. He waited until you were round the corner and then pressed you into a brick wall, shielding you from everything with his body.

“Shit, doll, your shaking.” his ran his hands up and down your arms. It was oddly comforting. “It’s cute but are you okay?”

“Yeah.” you managed. All you could see was the white plastic bag in his hands. “This just got very real, is all.”

“Mmm,” he agreed. “I really hope you won’t keep me waiting too long.“

“What time is it now?”

“8o’clock.” his watch glinted in the street light. 

“Give me your number. I’ll call at 10.” you looked up at him and found yourself fluttering your lashes. “Take me home, please?”

“Shit, doll, I’d take you anywhere you like.”

***

Steve kept hold of your hand in the elevator. Before he got out, he handed you the white bag. He seemed reluctant to leave you, but you needed some air to breathe. This man seemed to occupy all your senses.

“10 o’clock.” he watched as the doors closed. “I’ll be waiting.”

The second the doors were shut, you sucked in a deep breath. The bag seemed to way a ton. Tentatively, you looked down at it. This was the most expensive phone you had ever owned and a man had bought it for you.

_Your Sugar Daddy bought it for you._

You shook your head. No, you needed to think properly, get advice from Peggy. The relationship that Steve wanted was different to the one Peggy had, but surely she would have something to add. A different perspective, if anything.

The second you came through the door, Peggy came sliding around the corner. You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so dazed. She was wearing pyjamas and a huge grin. You felt at ease all ready.

“Well?” she prompted. 

You held up the Apple bag in answer. Peggy squealed and came rushing forward, pulling you into a crushing hug. This was what you had needed. A little reassurance that you were doing the right thing.

“Let me help you set it up,” she pushed you into the living room and onto the sofa, “and you can tell me all about it. One question, though. Why a phone?”

You shrugged. “He wanted to FaceTime. I was nervous so I told him I’d call and let him know my final decision tonight.”

Peggy ripped the plastic from the box. “And? What is your final decision.”

You slid the lid off of the box and gazed down at your new phone. You were reluctant to pick it up, but the excitement on Peggy’s face had you laughing. “I guess I’m a Sugar Baby.”

“Darling!” Peggy clapped her hands together. “It might sound silly but this will grow you as a person, too.”

That would be nice. At twenty two years old, there was a lot you didn’t know about yourself. A lot of things you had missed out on because of your busy and tiresome schedule. Having financial support would let you explore so many parts of yourself.

You gave the phone to Peggy and watched her set it up. She talked you through all the buttons and everything else until you felt more confident. The phone was sleek and classy, something you had never thought you would own.

You programmed in Steve and Peggy’s numbers. It looked a little sad, only having two contacts, but you weren’t upset. You put the phone down and turned your full attention to Peggy and began to relay the events of the meeting.

You told her how you had already met him and that he had recognised you. She said that it was ‘hot’ and you reluctantly agreed. He was arrogant and pushy, but if he hadn’t have been then you probably wouldn’t have been all that interested. You hadn’t had a boyfriend for years, but you knew that boring men were not at all your type. Steve was new and thrilling. You would never tell Steve but you found him appealing. _Very_ appealing.

“So, what’s his name?”

“Oh, right?” you laughed. “Steve Rogers.”

“Darling,” Peggy grabbed your arm, “he’s a CEO.”

It was hardly surprising, but it made you feel anxious all the same. You _knew_ that most of the men on the website were important people. But then to hear that the one you’d chosen was a CEO? It took you a little off balance.

“What company?” you asked meekly.

“Captain-something, I can’t quite remember.” Peggy waved her hand dismissively. “They do workout clothes and equipment, really high end. I have some yoga pants from them and they’re _superb_.”

Good Lord Jesus. Your chest felt a little tight so you rubbed the heel of your palm against it. CEO explained the cocky, over-confident behaviour. Compared to him, you were nothing. 

Peggy continued, “I think he models for them, too.”

“He does have the body for it.” you spoke wryly. 

“Don’t let this put you off.” Peggy glanced at the clock. “It’s just gone 10. Go call him!”

She shoved the phone into your hands and pointed to your bedroom. You almost ran in, hearing Peggy’s laughter behind you. Peggy approved. That could be enough for now.

You shut the door behind yourself and dropped onto the bed. You stared at the phone pensively. You gave in and unlocked it, going straight into the contacts and clicking the button before you had time to regret it. 

Within seconds, Steve’s face was on your screen. It looked like he was in bed but you could hear a TV going on in the background.

“Thought you weren’t gonna call,” he grinned, “so I distracted myself with a movie. How’s the phone?”

“Um, it’s good, thanks.” you had no idea how it was but you were happy with it regardless.

“So, what’s the final verdict?” Steve had a remote in his hand and he was turning the volume down. The pressure was on.

“I’m a bit nervous,” you admitted, “and I want to talk a little more about what you expect from me. But yes.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded. “If...that’s okay with you?”

“Doll, that is more than okay with me.” his teeth were bright white. You found that you quite liked his smile. “I’ll text you my apartment number tomorrow and you can come talk to me. I don’t want you to have a single worry.” 

He wanted you to go to his apartment? That was a big deal to you but maybe it wasn’t for him. After all, this was a essentially business contact. It wasn’t like he was your actual boyfriend.

“Okay.” you rested your head on your pillow. “I’ll be there.”

“Mmm, you better be,” he teased. “Now, you should go to sleep. I don’t want you to be too tired, doll.”

Steve went after that. You put the phone on your nightstand and plugged it in. It was weird to even look at it. A phone that wasn’t really yours, on a nightstand that you didn’t own. 

_One day, I’ll have something that’s just mine. Something that I bought with my own money._

You shed your clothes and crawled under the covers. Your day had been surprisingly busy and emotionally draining. You were out in less than five minutes.

***

You slept like a baby and woke up feeling more rested than you had in years. Huh. Turns out having severe financial issues can really take a toll on one’s sleep. 

When you reached over to check the phone, you noticed a notification. It was a message from Steve; he said good morning and that he expected you at his apartment in an hour. It felt a little bossy, but maybe that was something you just had to get used to. 

You checked the time. You actually had half an hour to get ready. Oops. Like most morning, Peggy had already gone. It made getting ready a little easier; no distraction. You didn’t bother with breakfast, instead hopping straight into the shower and getting dressed.

The new jeans were in the wash, so you chose leggings. Luckily there was only a small bleach stain on the ankle and no holes. You tugged on a bra (a little too small but who had bra money) and then a hoodie to hide the bad fit. You looked messy but it wasn’t as if you were going out in public. 

Steve sent several messages, asking if you were even awake yet. You texted back that you were on the way, and he sent a thumbs up in return. Tucking the phone into your hoodie, you left Peggy’s apartment and went to Steve’s.

Steve was shirtless when he opened the door. You tried to conceal your surprise but failed miserably if the look on Steve’s face was anything to go by. He was a specimen of a man. Peggy had probably been right when she mentioned him modelling for his business. This kind of body was fit for a museum. 

“Hey, doll.” his lips curved into a small smile. “Come on in.”

You slipped by him, still speechless. Heat was radiating from his chest; he must have just gotten out the shower. His hair was slightly damp and honestly? It was a look for him. 

His apartment was huge. Definitely bigger than Peggy’s. The main thing that stuck out was how...impersonal it seemed. No pictures, no art, no books, nothing like that. It was clean but by no means was it a home. 

There was an open kitchen and living room, similar to Peggy’s. The overall set up was similar, it was just a lot bigger. Every door was closed and you found yourself wondering what was behind them.

Steve ushered you into the living room. You could see into the kitchen (which had a gorgeous island) and it looked as if he was cooking something. It smelled delicious and made you wish you’d eaten before you’d came.

“Breakfast?” he seemed to read your mind. “You need to eat, even if you’re nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” you said sharply. You cringed. It was obvious that you were. 

Steve chuckled and moved into the kitchen. You tucked your legs up under your body and turned to watch him. The muscles in his back were rippling as he did something at the stove and you found yourself almost hypnotised. 

“Breakfast is served.” he called. 

He returned to the living room, carrying two trays. He handed you one and you were gobsmacked by the amount of food on it. Toast, sausages, eggs, beans. Steve had even more piled on his.

He winked. “Thought you deserved a treat.”

You looked down, feeling bashful. You started to eat, if only so you didn’t have to talk. The both of you ate in comfortable silence until you couldn’t manage another mouthful. Steve watched you carefully as you placed the tray on the sleek, black coffee table. 

“You’re sure you can’t eat anymore?”

“Mmhmm.” you nodded, leaning back and resting your hand on your stomach. Your eyes strayed to the huge TV on the wall. Jesus. How much did this guy make?

“I like seeing you like this.” Steve’s eyes flickered down your body. “Satisfied.”

Steve was straightforward, you’d give him that. He seemed a little softer, somehow, than in the elevator. Though he was clearly an Alpha male, he didn’t feel so threatening.

Steve polished off his breakfast in record time before mirroring your position. It felt as if he was looking at you a little too closely, and you found yourself shifting uncomfortably. You resisted the urge to tuck your hair behind your ears.

“What’s your living situation, doll?” he suddenly asked.

“I have an apartment,” if you could even call it that, “but I’m staying with Peggy for a bit.”

Steve sipped from a giant cup of coffee. “Why’s that?”

“The electricity went out,” you said sheepishly, “but I’m probably going back in a day or so.”

“Be honest, doll.” Steve looked at you over the rim of his mug. “Would I be happy with you living there?”

The way he phrased his question made you feel like a child, but you couldn’t muster any anger. Peggy wasn’t happy with you living there. Hell, _you_ weren’t happy with you living there. 

“I’ll take that as a no. Would your friend be happy with you moving permanently in with them?”

“Steve!” you immediately protested. “Have you seen this building? I do not have the money-“

“I do.” Steve interrupted. “So technically you _do_ have the money, doll. Clearly you have a problem with asking, so I’m just going to give.”

“It’s just a lot.” you sighed.

“Think of it this way, then.” Steve’s hand was resting on your knee. “You need to be close so I can have easy access. That’s another thing I want.”

“I guess.”

“Im giving you a key,” he held up a hand when you began to argue, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that this place is a little bare. I don’t spend that much time here so I’ve not had the chance to decorate. I’ll leave that to you.”

Oh, _God_. Steve Rogers was not fucking around. This was a man who knew what he wanted and expected to get it. It was in your nature to argue, and it looked like you would have to swallow your words on more than one occasion.

“As for the sex.” he spoke bluntly, though there was a sparkle in his eyes. “Any dislikes?”

“N-none that I can think of.” you felt somewhat like a rabbit cornered by a fox.

“You don’t need to tell me about likes. I’ll enjoy figuring those out by myself.” Steve leaned in, his knees brushing yours. “Though there is something I like. Something I want you to do.”

“What?” you could barely breath. This man had years of experience on you and not just because you were over ten years his junior. Would he ask the impossible?

Steve’s eyes looked suddenly heavy lidded. He reached out, grasping your chin in his thumb and forefinger and tilting your head back. Your tongue darted out to wet your lips and his eyes followed the movement, predatory. Anticipation was killing you, but it was also making your nipples hard. Steve smiled. 

“Call me Daddy.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Steve negotiate some more and you experience your first day as a Sugar Baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Lord Jesus I might be back at work soon💀 Hopefully this fic will be finished by then! Leave a comment to let me know what you think ;)

Hearing that word spill from Steve’s lips was like having all the air punched out of you. 

_Call me Daddy._

Steve had a Daddy kink? That was hardly surprising; he liked that you were younger than him and he had a thing for spoiling you. If that didn’t say Daddy kink then you weren’t entirely sure what did. But still, you weren’t entirely prepared. 

Your sex life(when you’d had one) had always been pretty bland. With a grand total of two partners, both men who hadn’t really had a clue, you’d never really been confident of what you liked. There were definitely things you wanted to explore, but they were buried deep in the recesses of your mind. A twinge of heat shot through your body. 

“I-I don’t know if I can.” you babbled. “I’ve never...I haven’t done anything like that before.”

“Vanilla only?” Steve looked sympathetic. “Oh _doll_. I think we can do better than that.”

There was no denying that it was appealing. You searched yourself and realised that you were mildly aroused. What better way to explore sex that with an older, experienced man?

“I’m not asking you to do it in public.” Steve was rubbing distracting circles on your knee with his thumb. “Just in private. Like here.”

If you bit your lip anymore it would start to bleed. “Just in here?”

“For now.”

That sounded ominous but you were too flustered to really take notice. Your hands were squeezed into sweaty fists. Dimly, you noticed that your nipples were hard.

If you were going to do this, you might as well go for it. You shuffled closed to Steve until you were able to flatten your hands on his chest. The warm muscle was comforting somehow. It grounded you.

“Thank you for yesterday,” your cheeks pinked, “ _Daddy_.”

Steve’s chest actually shook under your hands. “What did you like about yesterday, doll?” his heart was beating hard underneath your palm.

“I liked the phone.”

“Yeah? You like Daddy buyin’ you stuff?” his voice lowered. “Such a fuckin’ sweetheart.”

Steve’s hand went to the nape of your neck and you stilled. He held you like that for a moment, looking over your face for something. You looked back even though you wanted to duck your head and break eye contact. Steve Rogers _breathed_ power. 

You yelped when he pulled you onto his lap. He kept one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck. You didn’t struggle. This was what you signed up for, right? 

“Gorgeous.” he said.

Then he was leaning in, and his lips were on yours. They were gentle at first, barely brushing each other, and then it was like a switch was flipped. Steve squeezed your naps and your mouth opened in a gasp, and his tongue slipped in. He didn’t leave an inch of your mouth untasted, the firm pressure of his lips felt heavenly. When he pulled away, you felt thoroughly ravished. 

You bought a hand up to your lips in slight disbelief. He knew what he was doing, that was for sure. 

“Satisfaction is a good look on you.” he murmured, tongue darting out to wet his lips. 

You didn’t respond. Everything about Steve threw you off balance. You wondered if you would ever be able to get used to him. 

Steve glanced over your shoulder and at the clock on the wall. “Shit, doll, I’ve got to go into work for a couple of hours.”

You pried Steve’s hands off of you and stood up. Your legs shook slightly and the smug look on Steve’s face told you that he had definitely noticed. You looked at the clock. It had been around two hours since you got here. Steve was a really good way to pass the time, apparently. 

“That’s fine, I can just go back to-“

“No,” Steve cut you off. “I want you to stay here. You can explore, get yourself familiar with the place. What’s mine is yours, doll.”

You opened your mouth to protest but Steve gave you a look. Your mouth closed instinctively. It was natural for you to argue, especially if someone was bossing you around. 

“I know that it takes a lot for you to just go along with things.” Steve said. “But I need you to let me take care of you.”

You looked away. “I know.”

“That’s why I want you here for when I get back.” his hand brushed your cheek and you found yourself leaning into it. “So we can get to know each other a little more. I want you to be able to trust me.” 

“Trust,” you sounded breathless, “I can do that.”

You hoped. 

Steve pecked you on the cheek and disappeared into one of the rooms. You wanted to keep busy and your eyes strayed to the plates on the coffee table. Perfect. A little washing up was good for soothing the mind.

You carried them into the kitchen. There was a fancy dishwasher but you made a beeline for the sink. There was a bottle of unused dishwasher soap and you poured a generous amount onto a sponge and started the taps.

The pressure was insane for a kitchen tap. Drops of water flicked up into your face and you wiped them away before starting on the dishes. It was nice just to switch off. It was a task that didn’t require focus. After spending just a few hours with Steve, you needed all the time you could get to just think.

Having this relationship with Steve was going to be a challenge. Everything about him challenged you and everything you knew. Don’t take money from others, don’t beg for help, don’t go into detail about your sex life. These were all things you had grown up with and now you were going to have to change. You hoped it would be worth it. 

When you looked up, Steve was standing near the sofa. He was wearing a suit, though the tie was hanging around his neck. He was staring at you. You wondered how long he had been standing there. 

Steve seemed to read the question on your face. “Sorry, doll. You just look...like you belong.” he laughed but you got the impression that he was slightly bashful.

“Oh,” you shrugged, “I like doing dishes. I think it’s relaxing.”

“You sure? Because you never have to do another dish in your life if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sure.” you said. “What about cooking? Do you want me to cook?”

“You can, but I don’t mind the task being split evenly. We won’t always eat together anyway.”

Your eyes fell back to the tie, and you were flooded with a rush of confidence. “Did-did you want me to get that, Daddy?”

Steve’s lips parted and he subtly stood straighter. In the blink of an eye, he was standing right in front of you. His hand came to cup the back of your neck again. You recognised it for what it was; an act of dominance. 

Steve didn’t need to tell you what to do. With trembling fingers, you reached out for the tie. It was silky soft and obviously expensive. Steve’s eyes were on you but you kept yours forward, focusing on doing his tie. It was a wonder that you didn’t make a mistake. God, Steve was just so _intense_.

“Good girl.” he cooed. “Such a good girl for Daddy. You gonna be here when I get home?”

It was a rhetorical question but you still answered. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes,” you swallowed, hard, “ _Daddy_.”

Steve looked like he was going to kiss you again, but at the last minute he pressed a bruising kiss to your forehead. Was he...smelling your hair?

“Fuck,” he hissed, “fuck, I don’t want to go. I have to. Doll, I’ll be back in three hours.”

“We can have lunch together.” you suggested. “I can have it ready?”

Steve paused by the door, looked back at you. He grinned, displaying a row of white teeth. “Perfect.”

You got the feeling he was talking about more than just lunch.

***

You spent an hour watching TV before finally plucking up the courage to explore. Steve had said you could, after all. You turned the TV off and placed the remote on the coffee table. It felt weird. This was Steve’s home (one of them, at least) and he was allowing you to be here alone. You’d known each other for less than a week. Then again, it wasn’t like you could do something and get away with it. Steve had the money and power, not you. 

There was four doors. None of them betrayed what was on the other side. Where to start? You felt oddly childlike, exploring an unfamiliar environment. It made you giggle and the sound echoed around the apartment.

The first door was a bathroom, and the second was what appeared to be a guest bedroom. You dipped into the draws and blushed when you saw a box of condoms and a pair of handcuffs. In the guest bedroom? Did Steve not do... _that_ in his own room? In the next draw was what looked like a small whip. A...flogger? There was also copious amounts of rope and a blindfold. It made you blush so hard that you slammed the draw shut with an echo.

It didn’t get much better. Or maybe it did; you weren’t experience enough sexually to know. The other draws had dildos, vibrators, all sorts of items meant for penetration. Disgust lurked on the edges of your mind but it was easily over shadowed by unexpected arousal.

You raised your eyebrows. What if Steve couldn’t perform sexually? And that was why he needed all these toys? Well, with all these toys you wouldn’t exactly need a man. It was probably best to just wait and see.

The next door was locked. You guessed that it was Steve’s bedroom. It was fair enough that he didn’t want you in there, though you were a little confused. This place looked like it had just been bought. No wear and tear, no pictures, nothing like that. So what was different about his room?

You laughed it off. Paranoia could be a bitch. Steve was well within his rights not to want you in his room. Maybe that was more personal to him then the rest of the apartment or something. Either way, you understood.

The next one was unlocked. It was empty, apart from a TV stand and a huge TV on top of it. It was carpeted, though, and it was plush beneath your feet. There was a sofa bed and an empty book shelf. Maybe Steve hadn’t decided what to do with this room yet. That’s what he wanted your help with, right?

You went back into the living room and turned the TV on for some background noise. You picked up the phone from the coffee table. It felt huge and unnatural in your hands. It was another one of those things that you weren’t sure you would get used to. 

You had no intention of buying anything. There was still $200 sitting in your PayPal and that $50 in your purse hadn’t been touched either. Eventually you would have to, but you weren’t ready yet. It felt even worse because Steve wasn’t there. It kind of felt like stealing or something, even though he had given you clear permission.

Even though it was pointless, you spent some time scrolling through websites looking for furniture. You wanted Steve to be there when you picked the furniture and decorations. It was his apartment. You tilted your head. Maybe he wanted you to feel more welcome.

Steve was giving you unlimited funds. Whatever you needed, you only had to ask him. It felt a little more restrictive than just having a certain amount deposited in your account each month but hey, you weren’t gonna argue. He also wanted to treat you. The phone had been a treat (though it felt more like six birthdays came at once). He also said that he was going to be depositing rent in your account each month so you could give it to Peggy. 

Speaking of apartments, you needed to call your landlord and your managers. You checked the clock. It was also time to start on lunch. 

A quick sweep of the cupboards came up with the ingredients for chicken wraps. You hadn’t had them for a while. Or, rather, you hadn’t had the money for the ingredients. This morning’s breakfast had you still feeling a little full. You hadn’t been eating enough for a long time. Since you’d been at Peggy’s and eating proper meals, you had felt far more energised. Eating consistent meals also had you feeling slightly lethargic and sick. Yet more evidence of your own failure to take care of yourself.

You felt ashamed.

You sliced up and onion and peppers and stuck them in a pan. The chicken was seasoned with chilli powder and paprika, not bland but not spicy either. You slid it into the pan and a delicious aroma wafted up. Not too bad, since it had been a while.

While it was cooking, you grabbed the phone and sent a text to the manager of the convenience store. She was kind of a jackass so you weren’t in the mood to talk to her over the phone and explain your situation. The manager of the library was amiable and you got on with her, so you called. Fern had always tried to give you hours when you asked, and she gave you food during your shifts too. In fact, if it wasn’t for Fern then it was likely that you’d be in much worse shape.

“I’m more than happy to let you go,” Fern said, “and I say that with love.”

You laughed, balancing the phone between your ear and your shoulder. “Thank you for everything, Fern. I mean that.”

“Come ‘n visit any time, sweetheart. I wish you the best!”

“You too!” you hung up with a heavy heart but a smile on your face. It felt like a different part of your life was about to begin.

Next, it was the landlord. Joeseph, that son of a bitch. Money-hungry fuck. You hated him with a passion. You hadn’t known what would come first; moving out or murdering him in the hallway. 

You punched his number in. You knew it off by heart. All those complaints and arguments. That fucker was always raising the rent and it was a dirty love, especially when his building was full of people who couldn’t afford it. If you were him, you wouldn’t step foot in there. There was at least seven people who felt like killing him at all times.

“Joeseph?” you stirred the chicken. “Hello?”

“Hey, sweet thing, what can I do for you?”

You gritted your teeth. “I’m moving out. I paid this month’s rent and you can keep it.”

“What?” there was a crash in the background. “Sweets, you can’t just do that-“

“Joeseph,” you snapped, “I can damn well do what I like. You have a lot of hazards in that building. I’d hate for people to find out.”

Joeseph began spluttering on the end of the phone but you weren’t listened. Instead you were focused on Steve, who had just walked in and was watching you intently.

“Who’s on the phone?” he asked.

“Joeseph.” you replied, turning your attention back to the phone. “I don’t care what you have to say, Joeseph-“

Steve snatched the phone out of your hands. “What is the problem here?”

You gawked after him as he moved into the living room. The sizzling of the pan made it hard to hear. The food looked close to burning so you turned the heat down and listened closely. Steve looked pissed.

He hung up suddenly, turned and came back to the kitchen. The phone clattered onto the counter and Steve was clicking away on it, focused.

You peered closer. “Steve...are you blocking Joeseph’s number?”

“He was sweet on you, doll.” Steve didn’t even look up. “And he’s a giant ass. I’m reporting that building. I can’t believe you lived there for so long.”

“How do you know what my building is like? Or even where it is?”

Silence.

Steve glanced up. “You told me. Also it’s not hard to guess that it wasn’t sparkling clean, honey. You looked _sick_.”

That was true. Spending just a few days at Peggy’s had you feeling worlds better. Maybe it had been something to do with the mould patches on the ceiling.

“Now,” Steve clapped his hands together, “what’s for lunch? It smells delicious.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk through things with Peggy and spend a lot of time thinking about Steve.

You left shortly after lunch, but not because Steve wanted you to. You had felt overly crowded and flustered to the point of no return, so you’d politely excused yourself. Steve had looked as if he wanted to argue. He looked sad, almost. Like a kicked puppy. You’d felt a twinge of regret but forced yourself to leave. If you stayed any longer then surely you would develop a permanent blush.

The elevator was almost your second home at this point. The woman from a day or two ago was there and she smiled in greeting. Her eyes trailed down your arms to the new phone in your hands. She winked. 

You averted your eyes. You almost wanted to snap and tell her that it wasn’t her business, but wouldn’t that be proving a point? The only people who knew about your situation is you, Steve and Peggy. It was no one else’s business and they could never understand.

The woman got off on her floor and you watched as she walked out. It had felt tense, even though you were probably the only one who felt that way. All your life you’d been anxious that people were looking at you, and now they actually might be.

In fact, they definitely would be if Steve was a CEO. That is, if he wanted to take you out in public. Maybe this would be more of a private thing. That was more than okay for you.

Peggy’s apartment was your safe space and walking in felt like finally being able to breath out. Peggy was in the kitchen, eating her own lunch, and she looked up when you walked in. 

“How was it?” she put her fork down and leaned forward expectantly.

“He wants me to move in with you,” it came out like one long word, “but if you don’t want me to then that’s fi-“

“Of course!” Peggy rounded the island and gave you a tight hug. You felt instantly relieved. “Darling, I’ve been trying to get you to move in for months.”

“I know,” you brushed it off, “and I am, now. Steve’s giving me half the rent to give to you.”

“That’s amazing! I’m glad he seems serious about this. Some men turn out to be stingy.” 

Stingy? That was the opposite of Steve. He was something else. You still weren’t entirely sure of what to make of him. 

As if he knew you were talking about him, the phone buzzed with a text. Your eyes shot open when you took in the contact name. 

**Daddy** : You okay? 

You scoffed a little. He had seen you less than fifteen minutes ago. This was probably part of the whole ‘Daddy’ thing. 

**Me** : All good. 

Your fingers itched to change the contact. How embarrassing would that be if someone saw while you were in public. Again, Steve seemed to read your mind. 

**Daddy** : Don’t change my contact. Also, I’m taking you shopping tomorrow. 

**Me** : You really don’t have to. 

**Daddy** : I want to. Be ready at nine. What apartment are you?

You reluctantly told him, feeling a little bossed around. Peggy was watching you, clearly amused. You offered her an apologetic smile and sat at the table to she could continue with her lunch. 

**Daddy** : Good girl. 

There was no reply suitable for that, so you didn’t bother. Peggy was silently laughing opposite you and you wondered how much she had seen. 

“So,” she said between spoonfuls of soup, “how do you feel about the whole sex thing?” 

“I...guess I’m kind of excited? I was a little scared at first but I definitely get the appeal.” you said.

Peggy gave a secretive smile. “You wait till you actually try it. Whole new world, right there.”

That didn’t make it any less daunting, but it did make you laugh. You glanced back at the phone, flicking backward and forward through Steve’s messages. You needed to understand him if you were ever going to trust him. You needed to _know_ him.

Peggy finished her lunch. She had yoga class for an hour and disappeared after washing up, leaving you alone. Was this how it was gonna be? You, alone, in her apartment all the time? You could see yourself easily getting lonely. 

You went to your room, throwing yourself down on the bed. It felt a little bit more like your space. You got under the covers, fully clothed, and grabbed a book off of the bed side table. It was one of Peggy’s but you shared similar taste. 

Reading was a form of escapism for you. That’s why the library had been one of your favourite jobs. It was easy to get lost amongst the pages, pretend to be someone you weren’t. Pretend to have a life like someone else.

You glanced at the phone on the bed. Maybe you didn’t have to pretend anymore.

You read until it began to get dark outside and you could no longer see the words on the pages. You put the book to the side and stretched your arms above your head. A wide smile was on your face. It had been a long time since you’d been able to fall away like that without feeling guilty.

It was just past six o’clock. You were tired enough so sleep but you had to eat first. Eating well seemed to be the biggest adjustment you were facing, and you hadn’t seen it coming. 

Peeling yourself away from the bed sheets, you stretched again. Relaxing like that felt incredible. Still, you knew it wouldn’t be like that forever. So far, Steve had wanted you around as much as possible. You’d wondered earlier if it would be a public relationship and now you were thinking that it definitely would be. What it Steve wanted to take you to work? That could be awkward.

The phone buzzed. You searched through the sheets until you found it, unsurprised to see it was Steve. Peggy didn’t even have your number yet. There was several texts from Steve.

 **Daddy** : Hey, doll, remember to eat tonight. You didn’t eat that much at lunch.

 **Daddy** : I want you to text me every few hours. Just so I know if you’re safe. 

**Daddy** : I’m worried about you.

The last text was sent just over two minutes ago. It was an odd combination of heart warming and pushy. You weren’t sure what to think. Brushing it off seemed like the easiest option, so you sent a quick text.

 **Me** : I’m okay, I’m just about to eat.

 **Daddy** : No need to cook. I’ve sent something for you.

Your brows furrowed. A knock on the door had you looking up. It came again and you rushed to answer it, even though you looked slightly rumpled.

There was a delivery guy with a bag full of food. In his right hand was a bouquet of flowers. You were touched. You took both and thanked the man, who gave you a mysterious smile before disappearing down the hall. You shut the door and leaned on it, leisurely smelling the flowers. Wow. It was unexpected but not unwelcome.

 **Daddy** : What do you say, then, doll?

You bit your lip. This was way more relationship-like that you anticipated, but you didn’t hate it. You knew what to say.

 **Me** : Thank you, Daddy. I love my flowers.

 **Daddy** : Your welcome, baby. Send me a picture of your food after you’re done. I want you to eat as much as you can. 

You rolled your eyes at that but you knew you’d do it. There was no point in arguing and you would only be doing it for the sake of it. Just be thankful and keep it moving.

The food was delicious. It was everything you normally ate on top of everything you wanted to try. Sweet and sour chicken, rice, pork, beef with black bean sauce. Even after you felt full, you continued to eat. You wanted to avoid getting told off by Steve.

_Getting told off by Steve._

You laughed. God, that sounded silly. Like he was your actual father and not your Sugar Daddy. Hell, even that still sounded weird. You pushed the thought aside and ate until you could stomach no more. 

You packed it all away, unable to even look at it.

You sent the picture first, though.

***

That night, you dreamt that you were in a room of coins and notes. There was a hole in the middle of the room and everything was falling down it, and you were gonna be next. You couldn’t breathe and each time you dug a hole, it was quickly filled with more coins. There was a voice in the background, and it took you a while to identify it. Your movements were sluggish, dream-slow, and your eyes were heavy. 

_”C’mon, doll. All you have to do is ask Daddy for help. Cry for Daddy, hon.”_

It was playing over and over, getting louder and louder until you gave up scrambling for safety. You clapped your hands over your ears and disappeared down the hole. 

_”Good girl.”_

You sat up with a yell. Your hands had found their way over your ears and you yanked them away, panting. That had felt so realistic. It had obviously been a dream but it was frightening all the same. The feeling of getting crushed under all that money...it had felt too real. Phantom pain was already affecting your body and you sagged to the bed, trying to regulate your breathing.

You checked the time. It was just after two in the morning. Steve was coming over at nine so you needed to rest, but the thought of another nightmare had you thinking twice. 

The phone screen was blinding and you squinted against the bright light. Steve had told you to tell him if anything bothered you. He probably meant Joeseph the landlord, but wouldn’t this count? Your heart was still racing, you could feel it throb.

Steve would know if you didn’t. You didn’t know how, but you knew that he would. Maybe it was because you were a bad liar. Maybe it was because he was so much older than you. Either way, he would know. 

Still, you could hardly wake him up this early in the morning. You would be pissed if someone called you, even if it was because of a nightmare.

You thought of the voice taunting you, trying to pull you in. You thought of the crushing weight of the money. The search for a form of relief. You thought about how the voice sounded like _Steve_.

You put your phone down and went back to sleep.

***

When you woke up, the nightmare was a distant memory as those kind of things usually are. In fact, you felt rather refreshed. 

You ate a bowl of cereal and had a glass of orange juice. It was just after eight so you had to rush to shower. Steve seemed like the kind of person who was always early. You shaved your legs and under your arms for the confidence boost. Peggy’s shampoo smelled delicious so you used plenty of it, resolving to buy some of your own soon. 

Because you could actually do that now.

Your ‘bed’ at your old apartment had left you with some interesting bruises in some odd places. They made you feel a little self conscious but you brushed it off. Bruises or not, you looked _good_. 

For clothes, you chose a lose t-shirt and some leggings. They were clean and smelled like the vanilla perfume Peggy had given you. It made you smile and gave you the small burst of confidence that you needed. It was plain but if you were going to be in and out of clothes all day, you were not gonna be wearing jeans.

Brushing your hair out, you realised how easy it had been to accept this. Normally, you would have practically been gagging if someone was trying to spend money on you. By someone, you meant Peggy. Maybe it was because Steve was so...stern. So dominant. It had to be.

You grabbed your back and slung it over your shoulder. It was ragged but in an purposeful way. It looked well-loved. The weather wasn’t brilliant, a little chilly, but it wasn’t bad enough that you would look silly without your coat.

Steve showed it dead on 9, as you thought he might. Peggy had left you keys on the counter so you made sure to grab them before opening the door. 

Steve took up the entire doorway. “Hey, doll. You okay?”

The smile came easily. “Yes, thanks. What about you?”

“Mmm, all good.” he pulled you into the corridor. “Missed you, though.”

“It’s been less than twelve hours.” you said, trying to slot the key in the door.

Once the door clicked, Steve was grabbing you by the hips and pressing you against it. You gasped and turned round to tell him off, but he used it as an opportunity to press a scorching kiss to your lips. It had you weak-kneed and blinking blearily. 

“Good morning.” he was grinning. There was some of your lip balm on his lips. “Now, let’s go get you a coat, baby.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve takes you shopping. It’s definitely an experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! x

As promised, Steve first took you to go get a coat. You would’ve been happy with any old thing, but you knew that was not what you were gonna get. The $50 in your purse was begging to be spent. Steve wouldn’t allow that either.

The store had no sign on the outside and two security men on the front. They completed looked over you, greeting Steve instead and welcoming the pair of you in. It made you feel a little like a child. You weren’t going to say that, though. The inside consisted of several rooms, but Steve steered you off to one side and presented you with a rack of coats. They _reeked_ of money and you almost took a step back.

Steve’s hand was warm and heavy on your back. The message was clear. There was no way you were walking out of that store without a coat.

“Could — could you pick for me?” you tilted your head up for good measure. “Daddy?”

Steve had been the one to say it didn’t have to be a public thing, but it certainly got a reaction out of him. His hand slid around your waist, bringing you flush to his side. Blue eyes darted dramatically and his cheeks even pinked slightly.

“You’re only saying that because you don’t want to.” he said.

“So?”

“Fine.” Steve’s face was tight but he sounded amused. “You do this a little differently from other people, you know that?”

“I’m doing it the way I want to.” you said. The way you wanted to being not at all. Every day you got a little closer to spending that $50 but you couldn’t bring yourself to let go of it yet. 

Steve’s hand squeezed your waist. “I can appreciate a girl who’s determined. What about this one?”

You barely looked at it. “That’s nice.”

Steve pinched your hip and you yelped. “Work with me here, doll. I’m trying to spoil you, remember?”

Oh, you remembered. It had hardly left your mind. You took a closer look at the coat Steve had pulled from the display. It was...actually really nice. It was like a parka that you had had years ago. It was black with gold zips and buttons. Your eyes were drawn to the fluffy lining and your nose wrinkled.

“Cruelty free, doll.” Steve chuckled. “This is fake.”

“Oh.” you felt a little stupid. “I do like it.”

“Then you can have it. Do you like any others?”

You spent ten minutes arguing with Steve about whether you needed more than one coat. To your surprise (and relief) he yielded first. He walked up to a woman with a sleek bun and a tablet in her hands. She recognised him, smiling (flirting?) jovially before she saw his arm around you. Her face soured a little after that but she did what Steve asked, tapping away on the tablet before printing off a receipt. 

You made sure not to look at it. The price would probably send you into cardiac arrest. Steve stopped you by the doors and slipped the coat over your shoulders. It was _bliss_. You had been colder than you realised. Steve zipped you up, which made you feel stupid, before ushering you out of the shop.

It took you a minute to realise that you’d never even been around this area before. Everything about it was unfamiliar. Already you longed for the comfort of Peggy’s apartment. At least now you didn’t stand out too much with your new coat, Steve kept looking down at you. You got the feeling that he was admiring you in what he’d bought.

“I would ask where you want to go,” Steve said, “but I don’t think you’ll answer.”

Too right.

“I’m going to buy you things, and all you have to do is try them on?” Steve slipped his arm from your waist and held your hand instead. “Okay, doll?”

You sounded almost breathless when you answered. “Okay, Daddy.”

You didn’t miss the way Steve’s hand tightened around yours. It seemed as if that was the only way to catch him off guard. You smirked, feeling as if you were levelling the playing field a little. Your cheeks still burned but it was getting better.

You came to the conclusion that he was one of _those_ types. Gentleman in the streets, beast in the sheets, type thing. He had kissed you breathless when he had come to pick you up but other than that, he didn’t push. You got the feeling that he wanted to, and it made you more flustered than you cared to admit.

Steve dragged you through three more shops. He didn’t even make you try anything on. He just held it up to your body, looked between the two, and then placed it over his arm. It reminded you of when you’d been younger, picking out dresses for your Bratz dolls.

At first, he made you actually try things on. That was something you had never enjoyed doing, but you didn’t want to say. You tried on a grand total of four outfits before Steve gave up. Guilt flowed through you and you went to apologise. Then you saw the bulge in his trousers and your jaw slammed shut with an audible ‘clack’.

Steve got you an assortment of tops, skirts and dresses. There was no jeans or leggings, but you didn't object. All the clothes were gorgeous. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful. The weather was slightly cool but the dresses and skirts were long enough to protect you from the bite of the cold. They weren’t formal, either, so you could wear them whenever you liked. Not that you went out much.

Your favourite had to be the white dress with sunflowers on it. That one came down to about mid thigh and had a plunging neckline. It was definitely for warmer weather. It was the only one you had pretty much chosen for yourself; Steve had seen you eyeing it and had bought it faster than you could blink.

“Right, doll,” he adjusted the bags on his arms, “I feel like this isn’t enough. Is it enough?”

Your jaw dropped. “Da-Steve, are you kidding? This is more clothes than I’ve ever had.”

“What do you have at your friend’s?”

“About three outfits, including this.” you hurried to explain. “But that’s enough for me, really, I’ve never had that many clothes.”

“I can see I’ve worn you out for today.” Steve pressed a hard kiss to your forehead. “Though I’m not quite done yet. One more place.”

Steve made it sound so enticing and mysterious that you went along without a complaint. He looked quite ridiculous, really, with all your bags on his arms. Each time you asked to carry some he sent you a sharp look that had you clamping your mouth shut.

“Right,” you said to yourself, “dependence.”

It was proving to be a little more difficult than anticipated. 

Like the first shop, the final one had no obvious sign. The windows were mostly blacked out, though you could see a light shining through. You would have assumed it to be closed if it wasn’t for the ‘Open’ sign in the door. As you got closer, you could see that the handles were a sparky gold colour.

You peeked up at Steve. He looked...lively, you decided. Like this was what he had been waiting for. It made you decidedly nervous. You snatched your hand from Steve’s and twined your fingers together. 

Steve didn’t miss a beat. His arm slid back around your waist and he pulled you to him. Surprisingly, it made you feel better. Who was going to look at you when there was a shockingly tall, handsome and muscled guy right next to you?

Steve pushed the door open and you followed him through. Immediately you understood why the windows were all blacked out. This was a _sex shop_. A sex shop full of stuff that you’d never even heard of. Leather, spandex, swings, ropes, toys. Your eyes widened when you saw the size of some of the dildos. 

“Hello, Mr. Rogers.” 

A tall, willowy man sauntered over and you found yourself unable to take your eyes off of him. His hair was black and brushed his shoulders and his eyes were a lazy green that betrayed quiet intelligence. His top was almost entirely see through and he wore what looked like yoga pants. He was gorgeous. 

He was also wearing a collar around his neck. 

“Loki.” Steve greeted him warmly and introduced you.

Loki seemed somewhat surprised to spy you hiding behind Steve. “Oh, she’s adorable. I want one.”

You were sure your heart was going to fail. Next time you left this shop it would surely be in a casket. You felt your cheeks heat up and you pressed your hands to your face, uncaring of how it looked.

Steve laughed. “Stop, she’s shy. We’re not here for toys today. Just some lingerie.”

That was it. Your head was going to explode and Steve was going to have to pay a fortune to get your brains scraped off of giant dildos. Not _today_? Did that mean another day?

“Of course.” Loki turned his attention to you. “Any preferences?”

You stumbled over your words. “Um, I-I don’t really wear lingerie. So...maybe something a little more comfortable?”

“We’ll get a few things.” Steve told Loki. “At lease two sets just for comfort. Let’s say...at least five for other things.”

“Other things?” Loki’s smile widened as his eyes flitted between you and Steve. “Mr. Rogers, stop, she’s shy.”

You laughed at that. Loki shared a grin with you and beckoned you over to a dark corner. When Steve moved to follow, you held a hand to his chest. 

Feeling emboldened, you said, “Wait here. I...this should be a surprise.”

“Oh, doll, you’re killing me here.” Steve swiped a hand over his face but didn’t object any further.

Loki was chuckling. You followed the sound around the corner until you spotted him. He was standing in front of rows of lingerie. You could see panties, bras, corsets, everything. They came in every colour that you could think of. Rather than feeling embarrassed, you felt impressed.

“This is... a lot.” you managed, gesturing to it.

“Mmm, I know, darling,” Loki began rifling through the panties, “Would you like me to choose for you?”

You found that you didn’t. “Could you help me? I’m not really sure what would look good or what fits well.”

Something about Loki stopped you from feeling embarrassed. Whether it was the clunky collar around his pale neck or the fact you could see his nipples, you didn’t know. But you found yourself laughing with him and appreciating his help.

As instructed, he found two sets for comfort. One was a plain red bra with red lace shorts. You got the same design in a different colour. Loki measured around your bust and found the correct sizes, putting them in a basket.

Loki held up a pair of crotch-less panties and you found that you actually liked them. Loki cackled and threw a few more pairs in different colours and then different styles. Thongs, shorts, high-waisted. 

“Loki,” you scolded, “he said five!”

“No, darling, he said _at least_ five.” he winked. “There’s a difference.”

By the time you got to the counter, there was seven bras and at least ten pairs of panties. They were all different styles and colours apart from the comfort ones. Loki had also thrown in a lacy nightgown that you didn’t know the name of. It was a deep blue that you weren’t sure looked good on you, even when Loki had assured you that it would.

“Do I need to get Steve?” you asked as Loki scanned it all through.

“No.” he said. “Mr. Rogers has a tab here. Though he has never bought lingerie before. Never bought a women either.”

Those words made you feel something, but you weren’t sure what. It was like a lump on your chest. Not necessarily bad, but maybe not good either. You watched in silence as Loki bagged everything in a discreet black bag. 

“You are a lucky little thing.” Loki looked at you as he handed you the bag. 

“Oh,” you glanced back in Steve’s direction. “Are you-“

“Darling,” he grinned widely, “I go both ways. Here, I want you to have my number.”

Your jaw dropped. Loki scribbled something down on a piece of paper and leaned across the counter to tuck it into your pocket. He wasn’t smiling but he was definitely amused. You got the sense that that was his permanent state.

“Just in case you need a friend.” he shrugged in a noncommittal manner. “A Sugar Daddy like that...well. You’ll see.”

That sounded ominous. Either way, you found that you quite liked Loki. He was certainly a breath of fresh air. You found it easy to smile at him and you waved good bye as you walked back over to Steve.

His eyes seemed to light up when he saw you and the bag you were carrying. “Now, that’s more like it, doll. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got.”

“I can’t wait to show you, Daddy.”

You found that you meant it.

***

By the time you got home, it was just past five o’clock. Steve had walked you up to the apartment with all your bags and put them in your room. You got the sense that he wanted to say something and you were surprised when he didn’t. Steve didn’t seem the type of man to hold back. 

He kissed you on the cheek before leaning against the door frame. “Be at mine for dinner tonight. Is half seven okay?”

“Sure.” you said. “I’ll see you then.”

It wasn’t until you’d shut the door after him and sat down that the phone buzzed with a text. 

**Daddy** : Wear something nice for me, doll.

After today, you had a lot to choose from. Peggy was out on a date tonight so you would have to make the choice for yourself. 

You spent nearly half an hour putting away all of your new clothes. You kept out everything that had potential for tonight, packing away until you only had two dresses laid out on the bed.

One was a summer dress. It has straps and was a happy yellow and came down to just below the knees. You dismissed that one almost instantly. The next was a charcoal grey bandeau dress. It came down to your ankles and was skin tight. The main problem was your breasts. They were a little too big for you to feel comfortable going braless. 

You bit your lip, thinking. You began to look through the bag of lingerie, blushing furiously all the while, until you came to a bra that Loki had shown you earlier. It was a mauve colour with a little gem dangling in the middle. That wasn’t why you chose it. This bra also had removable straps, meaning you would be able to wear it with the dress. You pulled out the matching thong (which also had a jewel hanging from the front) and put it all on the bed. The last time you’d done that with your clothes it had been on the night before a field trip in high school. Oh, how things changed. 

Within just over an hour left before you had to go to Steve’s you decided to take a bath. You wanted to shave again, too, just in case there was any that you missed. Glancing back at the clothes on the bed, a shiver ran through you. There was no mistaking what tonight was going to be about.

You waited until there was enough bubbles before slipping into the bath. Peggy had given you some scented bath oil so you poured plenty of that in, too. It smelled like vanilla cake. It was easy to relax, slipping down until your chin dipped into the water. 

You were oddly pleased that you had made a new friend today. The third contact in your phone. _Loki_. The Norse God of Mischief. You laughed to yourself. It suited him well. 

After a few minutes, you raised your leg out of the bath and slapped on some shaving cream. It took you another ten minutes to go over both of your legs until you were sufficiently satisfied. You knew that you were just distracting yourself but you made no attempt to stop.

You waited until your fingers pruned to get out. You ran a towel over your body and sprayed perfume on your neck, wrists and stomach. The cake smell made you a little hungry. You hope Steve was actually planning on feeding you before getting you into bed. 

You got dressed with only fifteen minutes left to spare. Your breasts looked _obscene_ in the dress, but in a seductive way. You smoothed your hands over your sides. It felt good, being in a nice dress in pretty lingerie, fresh out of a bath. You moisturised you’re face and applied some lip balm. You fiddled with your hair for moment, wondering whether to let it down or keep it up in a bun. 

Eventually you decided to leave it up. Your face looked more sculpted without your hair hanging around it. It left you feeling weirdly vulnerable, but it was too late to change your mind. You grabbed the phone and wrote a quick note to Peggy, saying where you would be and what time to expect you home. 

You stopped at the mirror in the hall, adjusting the top of the dress and fiddling with your hair. You scolded yourself and forced yourself to unlock the door and step out. There was no point in messing around with your appearance now.

No matter what you did, there was no real way to prepare yourself for Steve Rogers.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is not a patient man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I’m trying to get better at sex scenes so let me know what you think! x

Steve pulled you in for a hard hug the moment he opened the door. You giggled (like a school girl) and made no effort to pull away. He smelled _good_ , and you hugged harder to disguise the shiver that ran through your body. 

“You look incredible, doll.” Steve pulled away to run his hands up and down your bare arms. He pulled you into his apartment and shut the door behind him.

Steve looked good, too. He was wearing a white t-shirt and navy sweatpants. You both looked ready for a relaxed meal. The lounging look really suited Steve. You wondered if he got to relax often. 

There was sauce in a pot on the cooker and you could see a rice cooker. The kitchen island had two mats and cutlery set out. There was a bottle of wine and two glasses, too. You touched your lips and found that you were smiling. You had never really been on a proper date before, and even though this was Steve’s apartment, it was certainly something.

“You can take a seat, doll.” Steve pulled out a chair. “The food is ready, I’m just gonna dish it up.”

You went with the flow, perching on the chair and watching Steve busy himself. It was a strangely domestic scene. You pinched your wrist and reminded yourself of what it was; a contract. And if it was the best contract that you had ever signed in your life, well, nobody had to know.

Steve pushed a plate piled high in front of you. He cracked open the wine with a grin, pouring a little into a glass and handing it over to you. He sat beside you with his own food, elbow brushing against yours.

“Shame we can’t enjoy the wine a little more.” he commented. 

Your brows furrowed in question, the forkful of rice paused halfway to your mouth. Steve chucked at the lost expression on your face.

“You can’t consent if you’re drunk.”

Oh _shit_. 

Those words suddenly made it all the more real. You hurried to stuff another forkful of rice into your mouth. Steve was blatant and it never failed to throw you off. You got the feeling that he was teasing you. It was probably best if you didn’t give him a reaction.

Half way through the meal, Steve’s hand came to rest on your thigh. It was definitely higher than appropriate. You nearly choked on your food. You looked up at him but his attention was on his food. In fact, he looked so disinterested that you wondered if it was just an accident. You chewed slowly, watched him for a little longer, and then went back to your own food. The radio crooned on in the background. 

Another five minutes went by. The silence was comfortable. You weren’t entirely sure that you could manage a competent sentence anyway. There were candles on the table and you watched the flames. They smelled gorgeous. The entire apartment had been dimmed. You knew that the feeling gnawing away at your gut was anticipation. 

Steve’s hand moved from your thigh to your back. He offered you a smile but did not give away his intentions. His fingers began to trace patterns on your back and you moved forward, away from his fingers. His hand followed you and he pressed a little harder, as if to say ‘stay still’. 

You realised a little too late that he was undoing your bra. The fabric went lax and you gasped, bringing your hands up to cup your breasts. Steve followed the movement like a hawk.

“Steve!” you protested.

“Take it off and finish your food.” his tone left no room for arguments.

You were gobsmacked. Steve’s hand came up to cup the back of your neck and you jolted. Was he serious? The look on his face told you that he was. Hesitantly, your fingers dipped beneath the elastic of the dress until they found the bra. You pinched the edges of the cup between your fingers and pulled it up. You gasped when the wiring slid past your nipples. Steve rubbed a hand over his mouth and swore.

You put the bra on the table. Your nipples were plainly visible and you resisted the urge to cover yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t like it (the molten heat in your core proved that you did). It was just that most men you’d been with were not all that in the bedroom. And it only ever stayed _in_ the bedroom. Not at the table. 

Steve lifted the fork to his mouth but you spotted the subtle tremble of his hand. It made you feel triumphant, not to mention desirable. It proved that you had the same effect on him. You tucked back into your food, trying to ignore the way your nipples grazed the edge of the table every time you leaned forward.

It was tense. The tension only seemed to rise the closer you got to finishing your meal. Steve polished off before you did. His plate flattered into the sink and he turned to lean against it, watching you.

You weren’t sure when you started doing it, but you were eating incredibly slow. You weren’t afraid, in fact, you were the very opposite. You wanted to drag this out for as long as possible. 

Steve’s brows furrowed. His fingers were white where they were holding onto the countertop. “Are you...” his eyes lit up, “you little shit.”

You yelped as he rushed forward, plucking your from your seat and instead seating you on the table. He shoved the plate and wine away from the pair of you. 

His hand came up to the back of your neck. He held you still as he devoured you, lips pressing so hard into yours that they would no doubt be bruised. His tongue tasted every inch of your mouth and you melted into it.

One hand came up to the middle of your chest abs he pushed back until you were lying on the kitchen island. Steve hiked your dress up until it was around your hips and he swore when he saw your panties.

“Did you...today?” he asked without looking up.

“Yes, Daddy.” you answered breathlessly.

His fingers hooked around the edge of your panties and he pulled them down your trembling legs. You jolted at the cold air that hot your pussy. The urge to close your legs was almost impossible to ignore. When you tried, Steve delivered a sharp slap to your inner thigh. 

“Oh, fuck,” he cooed, “look at this pretty pussy, baby.”

You whimpered before you could stop yourself. Steve’s eyes snapped back to your face and he gave you a charming half-grin. His hands slid under your hips and he lifted your ass off of the island and directly to his face. 

Steve’s nose pressed into the patch of curls and he tongue snaked over your clit. You arched further from the table with a primal howl. You twisted in his grip, unsure if you wanted more or if it was too much. Clouded blue eyes stared up at you and you looked away. It was too much, having his mouth and his eyes on you like that.

He groaned and it sent vibrations through you. You cried out, unable to stop yourself. Steve let go off you with one hand. He grabbed the elastic of the dress and pulled it down until your breasts popped free. You looked obscene; dress bunched around your waist, breasts swaying with your movements, a man between your legs. 

Steve seemed to open his mouth impossibly wider. His tongue dipped into your entrance and you seized up, grasping helplessly at the edges of the table, looking for somewhat to hold yourself down. You could feel your pussy clenching around his tongue, wanting something thicker. His tongue cake back to your clit and he spread you open with two fingers for better access. Later you would feel embarrassed, but all you could feel was the orgasm building in your lower belly.

His tongue circled once, twice, and then you were cumming. Your thighs snapped around his head and he laughed. Even as the feeling died down, your thighs were still clenching and your pussy was pulsing. It was rare for a man to be able to make you cum like that. You stared up at the ceiling, dazed but wonderfully aroused. 

Steve pressed a wet kiss to your inner thigh and pried your legs from his head. He crawled up your body and pressed another kiss to your lips. You could taste yourself on him and it made you arch up again, pressing your breasts to his t-shirt.

“Please,” you broke away, tugging at the t-shirt, “take this off.”

Steve complied. He pulled your dress from your waist, too, leaving you completely bare. You could muster any shame. All you could feel was arousal, hot and unavoidable, burning you from the inside out. 

“Put your hands above your head.” Steve said.

You did so without question. Your nipples pointed skyward and you felt the beginnings of shame bite at you. It was quickly chased away when Steve pinched them between his fingers, tugging until you were on the verge of begging.

“Oh, yeah,” he looked at your breasts with appreciation, “gonna fucking clamp these until they’re sore and aching.”

It sent a thrill up your spine. Nipple clamps? You had never had them before but that wasn’t because of lack of interest. Steve’s fingers felt so good, in fact, that you actually cried out when he pulled away.

There was the ‘thump’ of fabric hitting the floor. You looked down the stretch of your body until you could see Steve’s. His cock stood proud from dark blond curls, pointing up and brushing his belly button. It was deliciously thick and flushed an angry red at the head, fading into pale skin down the shaft. It was attractive, and you bit down hard on your lip.

“Gonna have you spend a whole day with my cock in your mouth.” Steve squeezed at the base abs cursed. “Feed you my cum.”

You squeezed your thighs together, wanting friction. Steve’s hand came down hard on your hip and you yelped. He pulled your legs apart so hard it made a flash of pain shoot up them. You could feel a puddle of arousal forming beneath your ass and you whined again, feeling pathetic but unbearably aroused.

“C’mon, Daddy, please,” you slurred, “I _need_ it.”

“You do,” he agreed, thumbing your clit, “you fuckin’ need my cock. Need to be filled up until it _drips_ from this cunt.”

Two fingers slid in with a _squelch_. His thumb stayed on your clit, circling hard and fast until you thought you might cum again. As it was building, Steve pulled his fingers away. You thought about begging but the look in Steve’s eyes told you that he was way past that.

He trailed the fingers up your body, smearing your arousal over the gentle swell of your belly and then trailing it over one nipple. He shoved them in your mouth, groaning at the way you suckled on his fingers. He gentle thrust them in and out of your mouth. You let your eyes flutter shut.

“Open.” Steve commanded. “I want you to watch.”

Steve’s cock slid over your clit, providing enough stimulation to have you shaking and biting down on the fingers in your mouth. His cockhead caught on your opening and he pushed, filling you in one deep motion. 

You thought you were suffocating. He filled you so well that it felt as if there was no room for air. You went limo, sucking gently on the fingers. Steve slapped your hip and you yelped, eyes snapping back to the place where you were joined.

It looked _filthy_. Steve pulled out and his cock was shiny with your arousal, strings of it linking you together. He pushed in and made a sound like all the air had been punched out of him. Your head fell back and you shuffled until the hair at the base of his cock was brushing your clit.

“Look at your cunt, doll, swallowing me up so good.” Steve was going unbearably slow. “So fuckin’ tight. Gonna have to fuck you like this everyday, make you sit on my cock until you can take it anytime.”

The imagine of sitting on Steve’s lap whilst he fucked you had you almost crying. It felt so _good_. You were trembling uncontrollably in the cage of his arms. He was speeding up, breath escaping you with every punch of his cock. There was a wet sound every time he plunged in and you felt your face heating up.

“Want me to play with your clit, doll?” his hands squeezed your hips. “Tell me.”

“Please,” you cried out without a second thought, “please touch my - my-“

“Your cute clit? Want me to rub it until you cum?”

“ _Yes_ ,” you sobbed, actually sobbed, and your body went lax as Steve’s thumb settled on the sensitive nub.

It didn’t take much. Three seconds and you were clenching, your pussy squeezing like a fist around his cock. Steve fell forward and your breasts pressed right against his chest. His hips pumped once, twice, and then he was burying his head in your neck and biting down as he came inside you. 

“Oh, good girl,” he murmured into your ear. You were too worn out to react. “My fuckin’ good girl.”

***

Steve fucked you another two times after that. Once over the arm of the sofa and then again in the bed, by which time you were half asleep but drowning in pleasure. He had taken you into his room, the one that had been locked, and as far as you could see it looks perfectly normal.

Steve’s hand came to settle between your legs and you flinched, looking at him through heavy eyes. He didn’t do anything, just cupped you. It was noticeable but you were tired so it wasn’t long before your eyes were sliding shut.

You had another dream. You were standing in a white room, but you were not alone. Steve stood in front of you, next to a closed door. He was looking at you, waiting for something.

You knew you had to choose. Steve, or the closed door. Your feet took you to the door. The handle was cold and felt real. You pulled it open and gasped. Steve, another Steve, was stood on the other side. He was dressed differently but it was definitely him.

He backed you into the room until you were trapped between the two of them. The one behind you grabbed your wrists. His hands were unbearably cold and you began to cry, fighting in his grasp. He leaned down until his cold lips brushed your ear.

_“There is only me.”_

You woke up. Mortified, you realised that actual tears were streaming down your face. You wiped viciously at then with your right hand, but when you tried to lift your left hand, it was trapped by something cold. Just like the dream.

Your heart pounded furiously in your chest until you realised that it was just Steve. His hand was wrapped around your wrist. He seemed to sense that you were awake and he rolled, bringing you close until his thick arm wrapped around your waist.

Maybe it should have been comforting, but all you could think about was the cold hands pulling you close and refusing to let go.

It took you two hours to fall back asleep.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is beginning to get a little too much. (slight dubious consent for this chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope everyone is safe and healthy! Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! x

Steve fucked you every day for two weeks. It was hardly boring, though; a different position or place every time. In the bed, against the wall, on the table, on the floor. You had some bruises in some interesting places. 

After a week of it, you were feeling more that sore. You hadn’t known that sex could even do this to a woman’s body. You now walked with a subtle limp that Steve definitely noticed. He’d pick you up and coo, call you his sweet girl and ask if you were sore. You were ashamed to say that it turned you on. 

You glanced up from your phone to look at Steve. Loki had been texting you frequently after your first visit to the shop. He seemed a little...concerned at times. You squeezed your thighs together and winced at the twinge. The concern was more than justified. 

You placed your phone down on the coffee table and focused on the TV. At least you tried to. Steve’s heavy hand fell on your bare thigh. Your core twitched in warning, slight pain radiating from the area. You bit your lip. Maybe he wouldn’t go any further. 

You sucked in a breath as Steve’s hand began to travel higher. Before you could think, your hand shot out to stop him. He looked at you questioningly and asked, “What’s that for, doll?”

You looked down. “I- I’m too sore, Daddy.”

His nostrils flared. “But I’ve been taking good care of you, haven’t I?”

Well, that was true. He always made sure you were more than adequately prepared and you had begged on more than one occasion. Steve took care of you outside the bedroom, too. There was more money in your account now than there had ever been. 

You felt your eyes grow watery. “I’m sorry, Daddy. It just hurts too much.”

It came easy to you now, the whole daddy thing. Just saying it had your nipples stiffening. You no longer blushed or stammered over the words. Steve made you feel safe and secure so he was more than deserving of the title. That was what he’d said, at least.

“Daddy been fucking you a little too good, baby?” Steve pulled you into his lap in one smooth motion. “I know something we can do.”

You grabbed his wandering hand. “I-I really can’t, Steve. It _does_ hurt.”

Steve frowned. “Don’t you trust me? I promise I won’t fuck you.”

There was no point in arguing. You sagged against his chest and let him scoop you up and cart you to the bedroom. He lay you on the bed and undid your shorts and slid of your panties, taking in your pussy with greedy eyes. You knew what you looked like. Red, sore. Maybe it appealed to him, knowing that he was the one who did it.

Steve leaned over and got something from the bedside table. Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline. Steve hadn’t used any toys on you, yet. How was a toy that different from his cock? You began to close your legs. A sharp slap had you opening them again. 

“I know what you need.” Steve assured you. He was holding something in his hand. “Just take what I give you.”

At the first touch of the vibrator against your clit, you swore. Steve slapped your leg and then arranged himself on the bed so he could rest his head on your thighs and watch your torment. You tried not to think about it too much. That was your tactic, these days. 

“Pretty and pink, like a flower.” Steve murmured. “I could play with this pussy all day. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You were breathless already. “Yes. _Yes,_ Daddy.”

At some point, the mood changed. Looking back, you still wouldn’t be able to tell when exactly. But suddenly the vibrator was being ramped up and you were shaking on the bed, almost brainless from the building orgasm.

“Then why did you tell me no?” Steve slid up the bed until his nose pressed into your temple, crushing himself to you. “You can’t do that to me, doll.”

An orgasm crashed through your body, leaving you without words. You cried out, arching away from the vibrator as the stimulation got to much. Steve threw his leg over yours, effectively holding you down. You gasped and thrashed against the covers, unable to resist the second orgasm that broke through you.

Steve was whispering into your hair. “You can’t do that to me. You can’t do that to me. I know what you need, doll. I do. _Only me_.”

In total, Steve managed to wring six orgasms from you without removing the vibrator from your clit. There was a sizeable wet patch beneath your ass. You didn’t even resist when Steve came back in and wiped gently at your pussy with a lukewarm wet cloth. He slid a pair of silky boxers up your legs and picked you up again, as if you were a child.

You no longer felt sore. Your oversensitive clit had managed to distract you from all pain. In fact, if Steve asked for sex then you probably wouldn’t turn him away. Looks like he was right.

He settled back on the sofa, this time with you sprawled on his chest. Like nothing had happened. You could feel his erection beneath you and it set you on edge slightly. You could just make out your phone and the message displayed on the screen.

**Loki** : Are you okay?

It would take you a while to answer because you honestly weren’t sure.

***

Steve sent a message asking if you were coming over tonight and you ignored it. You had practically spent all week with him. He could last one night without you. You could certainly last one night without being fucked into oblivion. Your thighs traitorously squeezed together at the thought of him.

Peggy was making spaghetti again, and she looked at you from the corner of her eye. “You...do know you don’t have to be at his beck and call, right?”

The phone started ringing. The pair of you shared a look and you reached out to put it on vibrate. It buzzed angrily against the kitchen surface until you gave in and chucked it on the sofa, out of ear shot. 

“I know.” you said. “It’s just...it’s not like I have anything else to do.”

“Don’t get too dependant.” she grimaced a little. “I know this is how these things work. You’re getting a lot of money, though. You probably don’t need him for that much longer.”

You agreed with that. “Another two months or so and I should be well on my way to financial independence. I just don’t want to use him. He’s a good man, Pegs.”

“You don’t want to use him?” Peggy laughed and it echoed around the kitchen. “Darling, this is what this kind of agreement is all about. Steve knows that. Remember, you’re the one in control here.”

Subconsciously, you looked back at the phone. It was still buzzing away amongst the cushions. You could see the screen light up with multiple messages and missed calls. 

“Yeah,” you said, “I’m in control.”

You waited until you were in bed to read the messages. They all consisted of the same thing; asking if you were safe, if you’d eaten, if you’d slept yet. After the missed calls (of which there were seven) they took a different turn.

**Daddy** : I’m seriously worried. This is not funny. 

**Daddy** : Are you out right now? Seriously?

**Daddy** : That's not safe. How am I supposed to sleep if I don’t know where you are?

There were three more that said roughly the same stuff. You felt guilty, almost, but you had no desire to call back. The you that yearned for independence was finally making an appearance and clearly being as uncooperative as possible. Then, as you were holding the phone, another message came through.

**Daddy** : FaceTime now.

You could almost hear him saying it in your ear. You were pressing the video call button faster than you could think. Your hand was sweaty around the phone and you pretended not to notice. You didn’t want to have to think about why you were nervous.

Steve was not happy. It was evident in the way his lips were set and the ridge between his brows. He was mad. You clenched your thighs together automatically. The apologetic look came naturally to your face, though the harder you thought about it the more you realised you had nothing to apologise for.

So what if you hadn’t answered your phone? You might have been busy (you weren’t but he didn’t need to know that). He wasn’t your real family and you weren’t a child. 

Steve sighed. “You’re not out?”

“No.” you nibbled on your lip. “I’m in bed.”

“I was about to come out and look for you.” Steve ran a hand over his face. “New York is not safe at night, even around here.”

“I know that. I have lived here for a few years and I didn’t need you.” you were trying not to get snappy but you couldn’t help it.

“But I’m here, doll, and you should make the most of it. I can take care of you so let me.”

“It’s not that easy.” it had been that easy for three weeks but now you were getting uneasy. You were due for a period soon, too. That wouldn’t help. 

“I know.” Steve said quietly. It was clear that he wasn’t happy with your responses. “What time are you coming over tomorrow? I’m working from home all day.”

“I’m not.” the reply fell from your lips. You tried to ignore the kicked puppy look on Steve’s face. “Um, Peggy needs me here. For two days.”

“Two days?” Steve swore. “Doll, really?”

“You’ve had me for two weeks.” you argued.

Steve mumbled something that you didn’t quite catch. “Alright, doll.”

You felt as if there was nothing left to say. Something had shifted, only you weren’t able to pin point what exactly it was. You moved to hang up but Steve spoke up. “Wait a second, baby.”

You looked up. “Yes, Daddy?”

For the first time during the call, he looked relaxed. “Don’t hang up. I want to make sure you get to sleep alright.”

He must have seen that you were about to argue because he quickly followed up with, “You mentioned nightmares. Maybe having me on the phone would make you sleep better? I will.”

You got the feeling that it was more for his comfort than yours. Steve wouldn’t help anyway; you’d been sleeping beside him for that second nightmare and both had featured him. Too tired to argue, you set up the phone on the bedside table, flicked the light off and got comfortable.

You pretended that you didn’t hear Steve jacking off at the other end of the line.

***

Peggy kept you occupied for the first day. You painted each other's nails, watched cheesy teen movies and gossiped like thirteen year olds. It was beyond fun and exactly what you needed after spending weeks with Mr.Testosterone. 

Steve texted you once every hour, and you tried to ignore the disapproving look the Peggy gave you each time. You replied to each one of them. You didn’t want another incident like last night. 

It was really amazing, spending time with Peggy. But at the back of your mind, all you could think was that it wouldn’t have been possible without Steve. 

The invisible noose was growing a little tighter.

For the second day, you got adventurous. You texted Loki and asked if he was busy. Texting him always made you nervous, even when he was the one initiated the conversation. Loki never did idle chat. Everything he asked or said had a purpose. You weren’t sure exactly what it was yet.

You met Loki at the cafe after three. It was a short walk and by the time you got there, all your baby hairs were plastered across your forehead. 

“Bit of a hot mess there, darling.” Loki taunted.

You turned toward him with a grin. That was part of why you liked Loki so much; he was just so easy to get along with. Like an old friend. He linked your arm in his and lead you into the cafe. 

“So,” he sipped from his iced coffee, “what did you want to ask?”

“Ask?” you blinked owlishly. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, come off it, darling. You’re such a shy thing. You wouldn’t have invited me here without being a little desperate.”

You realised that maybe he was right. You averted your gaze and traced your finger down the misted glass of water. “Well, there was that thing you said at the shop. About Steve being _that_ kind of Sugar Daddy.”

Loki hid his smirk behind his cup. “Surely you’ve realised what I meant by now.”

“No. I’ve not done this before, remember.”

“That _is_ true.” Loki placed his cup down. “What I meant was, he isn’t your typical Sugar Daddy. He won’t just go for any young thing. He’s got particular taste.”

You agreed with that. Steve had been set on you after the elevator. He’d even lied (or just not told the truth) so you would agree to meet him. That was...definitely something.

“As you know, agreements with the men usually only last a couple of months, maybe a year. It’s to avoid attachment.” Loki looked you up and down. “Steve has got such taste that he’s likely to want the attachment so he doesn’t have to find another girl who fits his list.”

That made sense. You bit your lip. “How often does Steve have a girl?” you ignored the jealous feeling that made your throat itch.

“He’s had girls before.” Loki shrugs. “But usually only for a week or so. Arm candy, mostly.”

“So what does this mean for me?” 

Loki’s lips thinned. “I’m not entirely sure yet.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve surprises you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is well, please leave a comment to let me know what you think! x

“A holiday?”

Steve looks at you expectantly. “Well, yes. I thought it might be nice to get away. Just the two of us, you know.”

You sank back into the sofa. It had been a couple of days since your chat with Loki and his words had stuck with you. Despite your uneasiness, you had still been visiting Steve at his every day and stayed the night on two occasions. 

It had been going well. He had gifted you a laptop (thankfully he hadn’t made you pick it out) and had been depositing money in your account almost daily. You had yet to even make a dent in it, apart from what you have to Peggy.

But a holiday? That was a whole different ballpark. A bit too...couple-y. Every day you had reminded yourself what kind of arrangement this was and every day Steve seemed to be working against you. You almost suspected he was doing it on purpose.

You glanced up. Steve was still looking at you. You couldn’t help the slow smile that was spreading across your lips. “I suppose I don’t really have a choice.”

Steve grinned and squeezed your knee. “No, baby, you don’t. This will be fun, though. We’ll leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” you repeated. “How long have you had this planned?”

“Since yesterday.” Steve held up his phone. “Don’t worry about packing. I’ve got it all covered.”

As usual, Steve left you gobsmacked. You didn’t even have to pack your own bag? You paled at the thought of how much everything was going to cost. You shooed the thought away, putting it in the pile of stuff labelled ‘Money’. That’s where all things Steve got put. If you thought about it too much, you wouldn’t be able to go through with anything.

“Well...where are we going?” you asked. You tucked your feet up under your body and rested your chin on your knees.

Steve winked. “It’s a surprise, doll.”

“I’ll spend tonight with Peggy, then.” you paused at the sharp look from Steve. “What? I’m not going to see her for a few days, Steve. I’ll miss her.”

Steve looked thoughtful. “Do you miss me? When you’re not here?”

You flinched. “Sometimes.” truthfully, you didn’t even spend enough time away from Steve to miss him. Again, this was edging into relationship territory. 

“Mmm.” Steve looked content with your answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Be here at ten.”

“Yes, Daddy.” you walked out without looking back.

***

You watched the ground disappearing beneath you. Steve _still_ hadn’t told you where you were going and your given up asking. Excitement was bubbling in your gut and it kept you from feeling too irritated. The last time you had been abroad was on a family trip when you were thirteen.

This, of course, was a little different. For one, you were on a private jet. The only staff were the pilots. Steve had his hand on your upper thigh and squeezed it when you looked back at him.

“You afraid of heights, baby?”

“I am, but this doesn’t really bother me.” you smiled. “I’m excited, actually.”

“You gonna thank me?” Steve arches his brows expectantly. He patted his lap. Oh, you should have seen this coming. He slid his hands under your arms and hoisted you onto his thighs. Already you could feel the hard line of his cock.

He pressed a bruising kiss to your lips, gripping the back of your neck to hold you to him. His other hand slid to the neckline of your tank top and yanked it down so hard that you heard a rip. Your breasts popped out and your nipples hardened in the chilly air. 

“Look at these.” Steve murmured. He pinched a nipple between his fingers and tugged until you were rolling your hips down onto his erection. “That’s right. Let me see them bounce.”

You obliged, grinding shamelessly down onto his lap. Your breasts bounced with the movement and Steve cupped one in his hand, swiping his thumb across the tip. He let go of your neck and shoved his fingers into your mouth. You gagged and his eyes widened, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

You jolted when he used those same fingers to circle your other nipple. They were unbelievably sensitive, almost as if you could come from that alone. Steve leaned forward until his breath was ghosting against your neck. His tongue darted out to lick a stripe up your neck and your core clenched around nothing. He blew against your neck and you shivered, your nipples rubbing against the fabric of his shirt. Steve always made you feel as if your senses had been dialled up to eleven. 

Steve groped your ass, pushing up your skirt until it was bunched around your waist. It felt weirdly hot, with your body being almost bare and his being entirely clothed. It felt _dirty_. It felt _good_. 

He shoved your panties to the side and, in the same movement, pushed two fingers into your pussy. Your head fell forward onto his shoulder. That was how he liked it; you taking whatever he wanted to give.

“Feels so soft inside.” he muttered to himself. “Fuck, I need to get my cock in there.”

Steve pulled back slightly, just enough to have access to the zipper on his trousers. He ripped it down and pulled his cock out. It was an angry red, drops of precum leaking from the tip. Without thinking, you swiped your finger through it and bought it up to your mouth, making a show of sucking it off. 

With a groan, Steve squeezed the base of his cock and gave it a stroke. He positioned you back over the top and, with his hands gripping your hips, pushed you down. His cock breached you with a certain familiarity. It felt like you had fucked him so often that you had moulded to him. 

“You like Daddy filling your cunt like that?” Steve thrusted you despite the awkward angle. His zipper pressed against your clit but even that felt good. “You want Daddy to fuck you?”

You were practically mindless. All you could feel was his cock and his fingers pulling on your nipples. It was too much and not enough all at once. “Daddy. _Please_.”

“Oh,” he said solemnly, “the fucking things I’m going to do to you. I’ll never get enough.”

You bounced on his lap until your thighs ached as much as your pussy. Steve met you half way, his entire seat vibrating as he met you thrust for thrust. The cold metal of the zipper against your clit had you crumpling like a paper bag against him. With one hand gripping your hair and the other pulling ceaselessly on your nipple, it was all to easy to soar over the edge.

“Daddy,” you cried out, “I-I need to cum.”

“Ask nicely, brat.” his hand cane down against your thigh with force. “Or you won’t get.”

“Oh my God, _please_ , Daddy, I need you to let me cum. I want it so bad.”

“Yeah, yes, cum for me, doll.” Steve’s hips were hammering into yours. “I’m the only one who can give it to you like this. The only one for you.”

Your back arched as you came. The post-orgasm high made it easy to brush aside everything Steve had said. You could feel his cock pulsing inside of you, his seed spilling. When you climbed of his lap, you made to go for the bathroom to clean yourself but he stopped you with a hand on your wrist.

He stood up before you and tucked your breasts back into your vest top. He righted your panties but left your skirt bunched around your waist. You opened your mouth but he shushed you, pushing you back into you were in the seat just in front of him. Steve spread your legs until your panties were visible, brushing his fingers over your hole until the panties stuck to you. Your cheeks radiated warmth but you didn’t speak; you were speechless. 

“Oh, yeah.” Steve sat back in his seat and his hand disappeared back into his trousers. “Just stay like that for a minute, doll. _Fuck._ ”

You could almost have passed out from the embarrassment but another emotion lingered on the outskirts. You tried to pretend that the wetness seeping out from you was already there.

***

The house was beautiful. You had expected to stay in a hotel, so pulling up to the stunning white house was really a shock. There were vines creeping artistically up the walls and it was even bigger than your apartment. There were solar panels on the roof and you could see solar panel garden decorations trailing up the path. You could hear waves crashing against the shore and the salty, warm smell of a beach had you grinning widely.

“This is amazing, Steve!” you clasped your hands to your chest, hardly able to contain yourself. “How long are we here for?”

“A week.” he said nonchalantly. “But if you like it then we can come back for two weeks in another month or so.”

Your head was spinning. Two holidays in less than three months? Steve was taking Sugar Daddy to a whole new level. 

There were no other houses in sight. Steve had rented a car from the airport and was going to drop it back off at the end of the week. In other words, you had complete privacy for a week. There was a village a few miles from the house and Steve promised to take you on a tour tomorrow. 

As you walked into the house, goosebumps rose on your arms. This was the first time you had truly been alone with Steve. Peggy (and dozens of others) had always been in the same building as you before. This was just you and Steve. Your heart throbbed and you rubbed your palm against your chest.

Steve dumped the bags at the door. “House tour or swim?”

Your eyes lit up. “Swim, please. But, um, I need to change into my costume first.”

Steve grinned. “No, you don’t. This is private land, baby. Just the two of us. Get those clothes off and I’ll show you the beach.”

You peeled off the clothes without thinking about it. The panties clung to your pussy and you fought off a wince. Steve rid himself of his shirt, trousers and boxers. His cock was standing proud and erect, pointing upwards. Your pussy gave a hard throb that had your cheeks colouring.

“C’mon.” Steve pinched your ass. “I want to show you more of what it’s like to be mine.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to enjoy your time with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter guys! I am thinking of you and I’m hoping you’re safe and healthy! x

To say it was hot was an understatement. The ground was so warm that you had no choice but to slip sandals on, and the beach was off limits because of the sand. You had given up sunbathing after an hour or so. Your legs were a painful red and you suspected your cheeks were the same.

You hugged your legs to your chest and picked up your glass of water from the table. You pressed the cool glass to your cheek and sighed at the pleasantly cool condensation against your skin. You breathed in deeply; the air smelt salty and warm.

There was a bottle of spray on sun cream next to you. You took a sip of water and reached for the bottle, spraying it generously on your legs. Just the smell of it reminded you of muggy summers back home.

Steve had yet to wake up. It was only ten but Steve wasn’t the type to sleep in. You eyed the finger-shaped bruises on your hips. Maybe you had tired him out. He _was_ older than you. Then again, Steve’s age had not seemed to effect him in the bedroom so far. 

You could see the waves caressing there beach from your chair. You stood up, propping your leg on the chair, and sprayed more of the suncream on your skin. A quick peek beneath the waist band of your bikini bottoms revealed a nice contrast built over 3 days of sunbathing.

A few more days and you’d be on your way home. A twinge of...something, pinched your chest. This had undoubtedly been the best holiday you had ever been on, but Steve had taken advantage of your ‘alone time’ at every opportunity. His stamina was unlike anything you had ever known. Multiple rounds were nothing to Steve. 

Sometimes you felt like you needed to ask him to let you _breathe_.

Nothing about your relationship with Steve was normal to you. Every single day presented a new challenge, even if it was just letting him buy you dinner. You caught the way the shop assistants looked at you, the emotions in their eyes. Curiosity, humour, wonder, always fucking _jealous_. It made you angry sometimes.

You didn’t have much to compare it to. A handful of boyfriends from when you were freshly twenty could not be compared to the enigma that was Steve Rogers. Just the way he looked at you had you heating up inside, your cunt clenching into anticipation of whatever he wanted to give you. 

The sex was incredible. Mind blowing. Mouth watering. Incomparable to anything else you had ever experienced. You liked the ache you got in the mornings, the soft flutter of your core reminding you of everything the night before. Steve made you _crave_ it.

“Need some help with that, doll?”

A smile curved your lips. You held the bottle out to Steve. “Yes, please.”

His hair was still rumpled from sleep and he squinted in the harsh sunlight. His chest was bare and you forced yourself to drag your eyes away from it. “Come sit with me.”

You struggled not to roll your eyes. Instead you followed Steve to his own lounger, sliding onto his lap. His hands came to your waist for a moment and he squeezed, flashing you a grin. He looked almost boyish, with his trunks slung low and his hair falling around his face.

Steve sprayed the cream all over your chest. “You should have woken me up this morning,” his hands massaged the cream unto your collarbones and the tops of your breasts, “I like waking up with you. This is the best I’ve slept in a while.”

It was quite the opposite for you. Every time you slept near Steve you had a nightmare, or you’d at least wake up with the feeling you’d had one. Yes, you’d been sleeping longer, but it hardly counted if it was restless sleep.

Steve squeezed your breasts and your back arched instinctively. He tweaked your nipples through your bikini top but then the sensation was gone. He sprayed more of the cream on your middle and then your thighs. “So responsive. I could do this for the rest of my life.”

You shifted on his lap, feeling the growing wetness between your thighs. Steve had learned how to play your body like the strings of a guitar. It was almost frightening how well he had learned to read you, to tease you just how you liked. 

He massaged the cream into your skin and your eyes fluttered shut. “That feels nice.”

“Yeah?” his hands dropped to cup your ass, grinding you down on the bulge in his trunks. “I’ve been thinking, doll.”

“You’ve been thinking?” you laughed and gestured to your surroundings. Beaches, sun, alcohol, food. “How?”

Steve laughed but his face quickly became serious again. His thumbs were stroking circles into the skin of your ass. “I think I would like this to become a...more permanent arrangement.”

You stilled. “How do you mean?”

“Well,” Steve began, “in the contract, there’s no end date. If either of us chose to exit this relationship, then that’s that. However, since we’re getting along so well, I don’t see the harm in putting a date on it.”

Steve was squeezing your ass _hard_. It was the only sign of his anxiety and you found it kind of endearing. You knew why he was asking. This was not so much of an arrangement as an actual relationship, no matter what you told yourself. These few days had had more domestic moments that you could count. All the cooking, watching TV, the jokes.

“So, a new contract? For how long?” you asked.

Steve grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back to expose your throat. “Doll,” he trailed kisses up your throat, “you know this is more than a contract. Don’t deny it.”

You were embarrassingly breathless. Your hand shot up to grab his wrist but you made no real attempt to stop him. “Then what?”

“Be my girl.” he said. You vaguely thought that you should probably have a clear head before making these kind of decisions. Then Steve bit down on your pulse point and _sucked_. “My best girl.”

You shivered at the onslaught of affection. “I-Steve, what’s wrong with what we have now?”

Steve pulled away. He looked like a kicked puppy. “Doll, you don’t want this? I can give you everything you need - whatever you want. Just say it.” his grip was bruising. “You know that, right? All you need to do is ask and you’ll get. Just be _my girl_.”

You could still say no. If it became too much, or you wanted a change, you could still leave. This was still your choice, Steve was giving you a choice, and that was what mattered.

“Okay.“ you bit out. “I - yes.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Steve laughed nervously into your shoulder. “You had me panicked there for a minute, doll.”

***

 **Loki** : So you’re his gf now? And I thought he was lucky before ;)

You had been texting back and forth with Loki since the afternoon. You had briefly thought about talking to Peggy but felt that Loki was a little more what you were looking for. You could talk to Loki and know he was completely judgement-free, not that Peggy had ever done anything to suggest that she wasn’t.

 **Me** : I think so. It hasn’t sunk in yet. I just don’t think it’s going to be that different?

 **Loki** : It will be. Emotions will be involved. Maybe you’ll get to know each other even better. 

That was what had you so skeptical. The emotions. Your last relationship had been a long time ago, and it had been a childish, hormone-induced whirlwind of shit. You’d never been in a relationship as a mature young woman. Especially not with a man over a decade older than you. 

“Who are you talking to?”

You glanced up. Steve was at the other end of the sofa, watching you over the top of a newspaper. “Loki.”

The newspaper lowered and Steve frowned. “Loki? You have his number?”

“Yeah.” you shut your phone off, resolving your finish talking to Loki once you had a little more privacy. “From when we met. I like him.”

Steve’s thumb was smoothing across your ankle. You yelped when he grasped it, using it to pull you to him. He manoeuvred you until you were in his lap, his legs either side of you and your back to his chest. His heart was thumping against your back. “You like him?”

“He’s funny,” you offered a halfhearted shrug, “he’s clever, too. He...knows a lot about stuff.”

“Oh?” Steve blew across the back of your neck. “What kind of stuff?”

You nudged his stomach with your elbow, feeling your cheeks heat up. “You know what kind of stuff.”

“You do realise you can come to me about _stuff_ , doll?” Steve tilted your head back until you met his eyes. “You do realise that Loki isn’t too fussed about which part he plays?”

“I know he’s bisexual.” you rolled your eyes. “Do you have a problem with that?” 

“No,” Steve said, “but I will have an issue if he starts making a move on my girl. He’s been a Sugar Daddy, you know? He couldn’t treat you as well as me, though, pretty girl.”

You tried to pretend that hearing those words didn’t send pulses of hear straight to your clit. You tried to pretend that they didn’t make you near light headed with the sudden arousal that flooded your system. You tried to pretend that you weren’t suddenly grinding back on Steve’s erection but you _were_.

“I don’t think about Loki like that.” your voice was almost whiny. “Just _you_ , Daddy.”

Steve’s grin was almost blinding. “That’s my girl.”

***

Finally, you were asleep. 

Steve stayed still for a moment longer, watching the rise and fall of your breasts beneath the thin sheets. His fingers itched to reach out and brush across them, coaxing them into harden peaks. He longed to lave them with his tongue, take them into his mouth until they were red and swollen.

There were so many things that he wanted from you. He had been worried that he wouldn’t get them all. Now, after today, he knew that he would. You were _his_ girl. All he had to do was treat you right and he would have all the time in the world.

Steve had never wanted to take so much before. He had only ever wanted to give, but you were something different. You had made this about Steve, not just yourself. You never asked him for anything. You accept his gifts with your eyes cast down, your cheeks pink and hot. You cooked him meals, shared your thoughts with him, shared your _body_ with him.

Steve had never fucked one of his sugar babies before.

At first, Steve had wondered if you would even be able to go through with the arrangement. You looked close to fainting every time he gifted you with a perfume or new clothes or even just a meal out. You were the kind of woman who would protest her partner paying for a cinema ticket. Steve had been confused. Then he had realised; you weren’t sugar baby material.

You were _wife_ material.

Steve propped himself up on his elbow, watching the way the light slipped through the curtain and caressed your sleeping figure. He had made you his girlfriend. He was well on the way to making you the wife that you deserved to be. Spoiled, content, _his_. A big fat diamond on your finger, jewels at your neck.

He would give it to you if you asked.

But you wouldn’t, so Steve would have to take the initiative. He could be patient. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cracks begin to show.

"A week?"

You looked up at Steve, hearing the confusion in his voice. He put your suitcase on the floor with a 'thump'. His hand came up to rest on the frame of Peggy's door, effectively caging you in. A shiver shot through you. "Yeah. We've just spent a week together, Steve. A week apart would do us some good."

Steve frowned. "Are you tired of me? I'm not tired of _you_."

In truth, you felt like a break from Steve was exactly what you needed. Never had you felt so coddled in your life. It had gotten to the point where, even when you were alone, you didn't feel like you were. You needed space to breathe. Not to mention a respite from the constant fucking.

The holiday had been otherwise perfect. Steve had been attentive and fun, the perfect man. The weather had been beautiful and you'd developed a tan. Steve had spent copious hours licking the lines that decorated your skin. You swallowed at the thought, shaking your head against the haze of lust. Another week with Steve and you would've turned into a sex maniac. 

"Distance makes the heart grown fonder?" you offered. Exasperation was leaking into your voice. "C'mon, Steve, don't act like a week is all that long."

Steve obviously wasn't pleased. His fingers were white around the doorframe and for a moment you could almost picture him striking out. You brushed the thought away quickly. Steve would never harm you. Not in a way that you didn't like. "Listen, doll, you're my girl now. This is a big ask."

"Exactly," you said brightly, "I'm your girl. Don't you want to give me what I ask for? Isn't that what this was all about?"

"That's not fair." Steve sucked in a breath. "But I suppose you're right. Just a week?"

"Just a week."

"I'll miss you." his head came down to nuzzle into your neck. Your body relaxed instantly and you melted into the contact. "I miss you already."

"Go." you playfully pushed him, though there was a serious note to your voice. "Get out of here. I'll see you in a week."

"A week." he repeated again. His hand slid down and he pinched your thigh. "Do me a favour, baby. Don't play with that gorgeous pussy even once. It's mine, okay? Save it for me."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. Frantically, you peered over his shoulder. "Steve, shush! Someone could hear--"

"Promise me?" he cut you off. His hand was warm between your legs, cupping you. "Fuck, I don't want to leave."

You pried his fingers from your body despite the pangs of arousal that threatened to take over. "Yeah, well, you have to. I won't t-touch myself, okay? I'll see you later."

You turned toward the door, ignoring the way Steve moulded his body to your back. The hard line of his cock threatened to take your breath away as you fumbled with the keys. You practically fell through the door. Steve had that dejected look on his face, like a kicked puppy. You blew him a kiss but shut the door. Almost instantly it became easier to think.

Peggy was still at work. You checked the time. She wouldn't be home for another two hours. You leaned weakly against the counter, wondering what she would've thought of the situation. She would've told you to be more assertive, more firm. At the end of the day, this relationship was on your terms. It wasn't right to let Steve wield all the power. 

Your armpits were embarrassingly damp. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Steve was a man, that he weighed over two hundred pounds and could probably bench press you without loosing breath. Then you'd look up at him, catch sight of the bulging muscles and dark eyes, and think 'Jesus Christ'. 

You were quite proud that you'd been able to demand some time to yourself. It would definitely be well worth it. You looked forward to taking a bath without fingers dipping into your private areas, getting dressed without having to ignore the lecherous gaze. Steve Rogers was a handsome son of a bitch but overbearing didn't even come close to describing it. 

You dragged your suitcase to your room, dumping it in the corner where it would no doubt stay for a week. You flopped onto the bed, suddenly drained from all the travelling. Your skin still retained the smell of sun and salt water, it was still warm to touch. It was easy to drift off.

Maybe, next time you saw Steve, you should mention something about him being over-attentive. It wasn't a major issue but if the relationship was going to continue then it definitely would be. Not to mention that little flare of jealousy whenever Loki was mentioned...something would have to change. It just wasn't healthy.

***

It was day three of your time away from Steve and you were feeling weirdly liberated. You'd spent time with Peggy and Loki and had even had a chance to nip to the book store and browse. You had come away empty handed but it had still been nice. 

Peggy and Loki were both busy with work, so you'd decided to treat yourself to lunch. It had taken some time to get your head around the fact that it was _your_ money now, not Steve's, but you were getting there. You had yet to buy anything more expensive than clothes and money for rent but it was easier now. 

The breeze bought cool relief as you walked down the street. It gently fluttered your dress and pushed your hair from your face. The sun settled on your exposed skin, warming you on the inside and out. It was a bit of a walk to the café but it was a gorgeous day. You wondered how many days like this you'd missed, too busy with working yourself to the bone. 

You crossed the road and did a double take in one of the windows. You stopped abruptly. A woman bashed into you and cursed, shooting you a dirty look before disappearing amongst the throngs of people. You craned your neck around, peering into the crowd. The blond hair and broad shoulders made no further appearance. 

"Maybe I'm missing him." you softly said. You blushed when you realized that several people were staring at you. Ducking your head, you rushed off in the direction of the café and tried not to focus on how it didn't seem so warm anymore. 

It wasn't the first time you had thought you'd seen Steve. You'd gone to Loki's shop yesterday (a feat in itself) and chatted to him for a while. On the way home you could have sworn you saw Steve, had even almost called his name, but the Steve look-alike had vanished. You touched the side of your head and laughed to yourself. It felt a little too much like going crazy.

You kept your eyes firmly fixed on the ground. New York was a big city with a lot of people. Chances were that at least a few of them vaguely resembled Steve Rogers. You bit your lip and quickened your pace. Maybe a week was a little too long. It had been a long time since you'd been in anything like a relationship. Had you been too hard on him?

You saw the café up ahead and brushed the thoughts aside. You were meant to be relaxing. There was time to re-evaluate your words later.

You slipped through the doors and smiled at the waitress. She gestured to a table and you followed her, draping your bag over the bag of your chair and getting comfortable. You smoothed your hair back self-consciously. You still felt on edge.

"Hi, what can I get you today?" she said brightly.

"Um, hi, could I get some chamomile tea and a jam doughnut please?" you watched as the waitress nodded and darted to the show-case of desserts. You'd been planning on having coffee but you weren't entirely sure you could handle the caffeine. 

You pulled a book from your bag and mindlessly scanned the pages, knowing that you'd likely have to re-read them later. The waitress returned with your tea and doughnut. You sipped at the tea and took a bite from the doughnut before putting it down. Your stomach felt a little too jittery. 

After a few minutes, you gave up on the reading and opened your phone. You stared blankly at the screen before opening safari and typing in _'how much time should a couple spend together?'._

As expected, there was a variety of answers. You nibbled on the doughnut as you scrolled through, visiting every page that came up and reading every answer. One user told you that there was no limit; why date if not to marry? Then you were going to live together eventually anyway. You cringed at that. Marriage had not even occurred to you, so it was easy to brush it aside and move on to next.

Another told you that boundaries were important, and in the early stages of a relationship they are absolutely essential. You found yourself nodding along, even screenshotting it to look at later. That's all you were doing. Setting boundaries. Further down the thread, a woman was talking about her recent split with her girlfriend. She said that they had spent so much time together that when they'd broken up, she found herself without anything to do. She felt useless, like she had no purpose. The thought made you shudder. Would that eventually happen to you?

You drank another mouthful of tea. The answer was simple. You would _let_ it happen to you. If you set clear boundaries and allowed for some time to yourself, then you would always have other things to turn to if Steve wasn't there. And one day he wouldn't be. It wasn't as if you were planning on marrying the guy.

"No way, is that who I think it is?"

You glanced up and grinned. "David Holmes, fucking hell. Is that a grey hair?"

David returned the grin, dragging a chair over to your table and getting comfortable. "It's what happens when you have a significant other. How is life treating you?"

David had been a key figure in your high school life. Some of the most fun you'd ever had had been with David. Swimming in creeks, senior pranks, crying over that first heartbreak. David had been there for it all. You'd held onto his number for a long time, unable to convince yourself to delete it.

"Life? Where to start," you laughed though it was the truth, "a significant other? David Holmes has a partner? Liar."

"A kid too." David rooted through his wallet until he pulled a worn picture from it's depths. "Sebastian. My wife thought she was infertile so he was a shock, to say in the least."

Your lips curled at the sight of the grinning baby in the picture. "He's beautiful, David. Born with a full head of hair, too?"

"Of course," David gestured to his dreadlocks. "Got that from me. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, that's for sure."

You stroked a finger over the ragged edge of the picture. "Well-treasured. He's adorable."

"So," David nudged you, leaning forward conspiratorially, "what about you? Kids? Husband?"

"A boyfriend, actually. Steve. It's nice to meet you."

You tried not to let the shock show on your face as Steve sat down by your side. He was entirely casual, wearing running clothes with earphones draped over the back of his neck. He looked _good_. However, the lust was easily overpowered by the rage that rose. There was no doubts about it. It had definitely been Steve earlier.

"Oh, wow!" David shook the offered hand. He winced at the powerful grip but laughed it off. "You look familiar."

"I own a company." Steve said casually. He leaned back, arm wrapping around your shoulders. You stiffened and didn't bother to hide it. His legs were spread wide, crowding you into the corner of your chair. "What about you, David? What do you do to support your family?"

It felt as if everyone had their eyes on you. You could feel the heat rising from your body and you fought hard not to tremble. You'd been wrong, asking Steve for a week apart. It was now apparent that you should have asked for longer.

David laughed again, but you recognised it for what it was. A nervous habit. "Uh, I just work in an office. I proof-read stuff before it gets put out to the public. It doesn't sound like much b--"

"No." Steve interrupted. "It doesn't."

Oh, Jesus. Your head was swimming. You reached across the table to give David's hand a squeeze. It was cold and clammy to the touch. "I think I still have your number, David. I'll give you a call later, we can set up a proper meeting. I'd love to meet Sebastian!"

David took the lifeline. "Sounds good. It's about time we caught up!"

You watched as he left the café. He hadn't even bought what he came in for. Your heart was pounding with a viciousness in your chest. Your mind was leaping from one emotion to another; rage, embarrassment, horror. You pulled your purse from your bag, selecting the correct notes for the waitress. It took a few tries. Your fingers were shaking. 

Steve's hand came to clamp onto your shoulder. "What a d--"

"No." you cut him off sharply. "Don't speak to me right now. I-I can't deal with you."

You practically ran from the café. It was colder now and you wished you'd bought a jacket or something. You heard Steve's footsteps behind you but you didn't turn. Words spoken in anger were entirely counterproductive. 

"Listen, doll, I was just passing by." his voice verged on desperate. "What else was I supposed to think when I saw my girl gettin' cosy with some jackass?"

"Maybe you should have actually _thought_?" you spat. "I can't believe you did that. First you say things about Loki, and now you have a pissing match with David? David is _married_ for fuck's sake."

"Can we please talk?" he begged. "I just miss you so much, baby."

You opened and closed your mouth. There was nothing effective that you could say. You scoffed and walked quicker. Your calves ached with each step but you forced yourself to carry on. 

"Fine," Steve grabbed your arm, " _fine_ , but do not call him. Don't call him. Do you understand me? Do not use the phone that _I_ bought you to talk to another man. You _slut_."

You were actually going to be sick. You clasped a hand over your mouth. The back of your throat stung as you forced the tea back down, and your eyes watered. Slut? Steve thought you were a slut? You laughed dryly. That's what you got for accepting money for sex. Fucking hell. Never had you felt so insignificant, so stupid, in your entire life.

You turned so suddenly that you nose crushed against Steve's chest. You fumbled in your pockets until your fingers closed around the sleek design of the phone and then your purse. You shoved it so hard into Steve's chest that he winced. You yanked open the purse and shoved every single last cent into Steve's pockets. You found enjoyment in the shocked look on his face.

"Don't worry." you said sweetly. "Peggy has a house phone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, I hope everyone is well! Please leave a comment with some feedback if you can, I really appreciate it! :)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve grovels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to update until tomorrow but there's no time like the present! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, they honestly mean the world.
> 
> p.s. there is nothing wrong with being a slut!! go ahead n be your best self ;)

You chewed pensively on your sandwich. Since Steve's outburst the day before, it was all you had been able to think about. On several occasions you found yourself opening your mouth to tell Peggy. Then the humiliation settled in you stomach and you found yourself unable to. You'd almost been glad to see her leave for work this morning. Your dark mood was clouding up the entire apartment. 

The question was, where to go from here? There was more than enough in your account for you to live with Peggy for at least another six months, but maybe it was best to consider saving. Getting somewhere cheaper was the best option. 

Then again, were you truly done with Steve?

You dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. You had had the...arrangement with Steve for almost a two months. As Peggy had said, these things rarely lasted long. Your brows furrowed as you considered it. Steve was technically your boyfriend. Did that mean you had to break things off in a more official way? Texting him was not an option since you didn't have a phone. Visiting his apartment was also out of the question. It was best to remain distant.

You gulped down a glass of water and considered your next move. Apartment hunting was the easiest thing on your list. Plus, if you found somewhere inexpensive, you'd have time to find a job and add to your savings. You would never have to be in this position again. It was more than appealing.

A rap on the door had you jumping out of your skin. Peggy wasn't expecting anything so you frowned and opened up her laptop, typing in the password and relaxing back. The knocking came again and you tensed. Would Steve be bold enough to show up? You brought up the website for nearby apartments but put the laptop down and went to the door. You stood on your tip toes and peered through the peephole. It wasn't anyone you recognised. He looked like a delivery man so you opened the door.

"Hello," he said your name and held up a brown box. "No need to sign."

"Oh, but I-" the man shoved the box into your arms and disappeared down the corridor. You blinked. The box was heavy and tall enough to rest uncomfortably under your chin. With a last look down the corridor, you slid back into the apartment and closed the door. After second thought you turned back and locked it.

For a moment you debated opening it. It was obvious who it was from. When the anticipation became to much to bear, you gave in and went to the draws for scissors. The fragrant smell hit you the moment the top came off. There was a huge bouquet of calla lilies. Their scent was cloying and heavy. You almost recoiled. There was an envelope perched between them and your fingers twitched to reach for it. With a curse you slammed the lid back on. You had no room for this kind of shit. No room in the apartment and no room in your heart.

There was a garbage shoot at the end of the hall. You nodded to yourself as you picked up the box and went back to the door. Maybe the rats and other vermin would appreciate some nice apology flowers. The door hit the wall with a bang as you marched out. Watching the flowers disappear into the darkness brought you a twisted sense of joy. You clapped your hands together and wiped off non-existent dirt. Good riddance. 

The next few hours were spent browsing through apartments. Each one no better than the last. Too big, too expensive not enough room, bug problem, looked haunted, what apartment is $150 a month? You would probably have to widen the radius if you wanted to find anything good. 

The thought of moving away from Peggy was truly unappealing. As much as you hated to admit it, if it wasn't for her then you would've been out on the street a long time ago. You still felt the need to rely on her. You clenched your jaw and widened the radius. You were a big girl now. It was time to make your own decisions and take care of yourself. 

The sound of paper scratching on wood had you glancing up. Your jaw dropped at the sight of A4 sliding under the door. Your eyelashes fluttered for a moment before you shoved the laptop from your lap and stormed to the door. It was a letter. You scoffed. What were you, children?

_'I know you threw the flowers away. Are you trying to break my heart, doll? I tried to call you last night but you gave me your phone. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it. My heart shattered when I watched you walk away yesterday. Do you have any idea how that felt? How it felt when I saw my girl talking to another man? You know you're not a slut, baby-_

You screwed up the letter in one hand. Just reading that word had your stomach cramping uncomfortably. You pressed your hands to your cheeks and took a slow breath. You hadn't known it was possible to feel this embarrassed. 

And what did he mean by, 'break his heart'? It wasn't like that. It wasn't _serious_. You closed your eyes and leaned against the wall. This entire time you'd been afraid of a proper relationship. Then he'd asked and you'd said yes and, well, now look. You should've made a more intelligent decision. Maybe if you'd made intelligent decision all those years ago then you never would have had a Sugar Daddy.

There was no point in thinking over things now. They couldn't be changed and quite frankly, you didn't want them to. You ripped the letter into tiny pieces and shoved it down into the bin. You'd have to tell Peggy at some point but you couldn't face telling her the truth. Peggy would blame herself; she was the one to encourage you to get financial help. This wasn't anyone's fault but yours. 

You let out a scream at the sudden pounding on the door. It went on for five seconds and the silence rang loud in the short pause. Then it started up again and you swore; the neighbours would complain if this continued.

"What," you swung the door open, "the fuck are you doing?"

Steve stood there, fist hanging in the air. It dropped and you noticed the red-rimmed eyes and tissue in his other hand. "Baby, I am so fucking sorry-"

You held your hand up. "Stop. Spare us both. Go back to your apartment, Steve."

He sniffled and blinked earnestly at you. "When will we talk?"

"We won't." your patience was already running thin. Your heart was pounding in your chest. You couldn't look at his eyes or his mouth without thinking about what he said yesterday. "This is over, Steve."

"What, why?"

"Are you serious?" you gaped. "You called me a slut, Steve. A _slut_. And, you know what, maybe some part of me agrees with you. Sex for money, right? So, yeah, no. I'm not doing this."

"No," Steve mumbled, "no, no, baby, you can't do that to me. Please. Please, fuck, just let me talk to you. I didn't mean it, baby."

"Fuck off." you shut the door in his face. Your pulse was hammering and you leaned forward to press your forehead into the cool wood. Then swore as the door vibrated under the assault of Steve's fist. You yanked the door open so hard that it hurt your palm. "Are you insane? Go home, Steve."

"No." he said firmly. He swiped the tissue under his nose. "Not until you talk to me."

"I believe I just did."

"Properly," he amended, "meet me at my apartment tomorrow at nine. Please, baby, let me explain. You owe me that much."

Your temper flared. "I don't owe you shit." you spotted your neighbour poking their head around their door, disapproval on his face. You lowered your voice. "Fine. Don't expect anything from me, Steve."

You shut the door again and listened as he walked away.

***

Peggy arrived home shortly after Steve left. She gave you a look that told you she knew you were hiding something but she didn't press the issue. You shot her a thankful attempt at a smile before disappearing into your room. With her permission, you brought her laptop in with you.

You planned on meeting Steve tomorrow but not to hear him out. You were going to end it as clearly as you could and leave no room for arguments. There would be no opportunity to create a scene in public either if you went to his.

After scrolling fruitlessly through apartments, you logged into Facebook. There was a three week old friend request from Steve Rogers which you gleefully denied. There was another one from David Holmes, sent yesterday. You bit your lip and accepted. Then you messaged him before you could convince yourself not to. You apologised for Steve's behaviour and told him that you'd ended it. You even thanked him for helping you see the light. 

The message bubble popped up almost immediately. You relaxed into the pillows and waited. 

**David** : No worries. I'm glad you've ended it. You don't live with him do you? 

**Me** : We live in the same building but I live with a friend. I'm planning on moving out soon, you know, to avoid conflict.

It wasn't entirely a lie. Living in the same building as Steve was not an option but in a few months you wouldn't even be able to afford it. Not that David had to know that.

 **David** : Well, if you need a place to stay, let me know. We have a spare room that we usually rent out but it's been empty for a month.

You perked up at that. 

**Me** : Really? I haven't been able to find anywhere nearby. Whereabouts do you live?

David gave you his address and you typed it into Google Maps. Your brows shot up at the results. It was less than twenty minutes away. It almost seemed like a sign.

 **Me** : David, could I get back to you on this? I really appreciate the offer. I'll let you know tomorrow. If that's okay?

 **David** : Sounds good, hon. I can't wait for you to meet Sebastian!

David forwarded you a video his son. He really was a cute kid. You messaged back and forth with him for another hour. You finally said goodbye when your eyelids began to droop and your neck was aching from the uncomfortable position.

You put the laptop aside, turned off the lights and slid under the covers. A smile played on your lips. No matter what happened tomorrow, you had options. You were an adult woman. You didn't need a sugar daddy, or any man for that matter. 

You most certainly didn't need Steve Rogers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment to let me know what you think :) thank you! x


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve burns inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: implied non-con and violence and extremely unhealthy thinking. My own views are not reflected in this writing!

Ten more hours, then it would be nine o'clock. Steve's lip trembled. He should have said eight, maybe even seven. This was the longest he'd spent apart from you since you'd met. And what a meeting it had been. Movie-worthy. CEO meets beauty in an elevator. It was meant to be. 

The prostitute whimpered from the bed and Steve flinched. He took another swig from his beer, staring at the bottle for a moment, before launching it into the wall. It shattered into a million pieces. Someone would have to clean that. Steve eyed the girl - Sandy? Sandra? It began with S, he was sure.

He leaned close to her. She might have been pretty if the mascara hadn't settled in streaks down her face, or if her too-pink lipstick hadn't rubbed off of her mouth during the sloppy blowjob he'd demanded. She might have been pretty if not for the rapidly swelling eye. She might have been pretty if she was _you_. His breath ghosted across her lips and she squealed through the gag. Steve backhanded her without thinking. 

Her chest was heaving and his cock stirred in interest. He scowled and palmed himself through his jeans. There was no point in even trying to get off. She'd spent nearly half an hour on her knees for him and he hadn't managed more than a drop of precum. Steve squeezed her jaw in his hands, shaking her until she turned her bleary eyes on him. "That's it, sweetheart. You think you could clean something up for me? If I untie you?"

She nodded frantically and Steve laughed. He wasn't stupid; she would try to escape. Still, he went to the kitchen cupboard and pulled out a dustpan and brush. This place had to be tidy by nine o'clock and he sure as hell wasn't doing it himself. He reached down and yanked the ropes from her hands, then her feet. He pulled the gag from her mouth. "This will be your first and final warning. Do not try anything. Okay, sweetheart?"

She whimpered but nodded. Steve saw streaks of blood on her teeth and sighed. Roughing it up wasn't doing it for him like it used to. He never needed to be rough with you. He still came for you every time. You were a _good_ girl, unlike the woman before him. Well, maybe you hadn't been on your best behaviour as of late, but it wasn't really your fault. You'd never had a man like Steve before.

The woman was crying. She knelt shakily on the floor and began sweeping up the glass. Steve tilted his head. He placed his boot on her back and shoved. Her hands shot forward to catch herself and she cried out as the glass pierced her palms and knees. Steve shook his head and sat back on the bed. He'd never make you clean for him. You were above that, both you and him.

The woman sniffled. "H-how do you know I won't tell? If this gets out, you'll be ruined--"

"Sure I will," Steve rolled his eyes and cracked open another beer. "But you won't tell. If this gets out, I won't be the only one who's ruined, sweetheart."

"It would be worth it." she quietly said. "If it meant you wouldn't do it to anyone else."

"Not that it's any of your business," he said, "but I won't. I have a girl. She's somethin' special, you know? I just need to make sure she knows it."

"I feel sorry for her."

Steve twitched, fury rising fast and fierce within. He nearly got up, until he spied the various bruises on the woman's body. Best not take it too far. "Oh, I'm sorry." he fished in his back pocket. "Here, I forgot." he tossed a few hundreds at the woman, more than she was worth.

She was still for a moment, then Steve laughed as she began rapidly shoving notes into her bra and panties. "There's a good girl. You liked it really." he cooed. "You don't need to be scared. I'll never have need for one of you again."

The woman didn't speak, only continued sweeping. Steve checked the time. Fifteen minutes since he'd last checked. There was a tinkling of glass as the woman tipped the contents of the dustpan into the bin. Her knees were bloodied and sore when she turned to him. Steve sneered at her, the pitiful creature who thought she could hold a candle to you. He tossed her top and skirt at her and watched as she scrambled to pull them on.

"C-," she cleared her throat, "can I please go, Mr. Rogers."

Steve smiled, a disparaging glint in his eyes. "Get the fuck out of here."

He listened as she darted for the door. Steve sighed and went to close the front door. No doubt she was in the lobby by then. Steve smirked at the thought of the cowering woman. They were all the same; simpering, cowardly creatures who yearned for his attention. Underserving of his respect. He'd touched her and she'd been wet. Liars, too. They claimed not to want the pain, but it wasn't true. They all came for him in the end. 

Steve leaned against the door and pulled out the scrap of lace he'd been fingering all night. Yours, of course. He bought the dirtied panties to his nose and breathed deep, allowing himself a moment of peace. He cursed and his hands went to his jeans, to the zipper, and he pulled his cock out. He held the panties to his face and inhaled your scent, spitting crudely on his right hand before pulling his cock. It didn't feel that good. Nothing felt as good as you anymore. 

You, a woman who was finally deserving of his respect. 

He thought about that day in the elevator and his hand sped up. The way you'd huddled into the corner, he'd almost thought you were homeless. Even considered calling security on you. Then you'd looked up, and oh. Dark, serious eyes. Filled with determination. Strength. Steve swore as he squeezed his cock, staving off his orgasm. He'd slipped you his card and your petal soft lips had parted, only to callously reject him. On more than one occasion. Oh, how he had yearned for you. How he _still_ yearned for you.

Steve sank to the floor as his orgasm overtook his body. He imagined he was fucking into your cunt rather than his own fist, imagined the way you would have milked him dry like a good girl. He didn't stop until his cock almost hurt from overstimulation. He wiped his hands on his jeans, though he would have rather had you suck his fingers clean. _Fuck_. He needed to see you, to talk to you. 

There was no point in trying to sleep. He'd barely slept a night since you'd come back from holiday. It wasn't the same without you there. Steve gritted his teeth and pulled out his phone. You'd probably be with him right now if it wasn't for that dumb fuck. David? Steve went to Facebook and onto Search. Your name was at the top and he smiled, clicking on it. The smile dropped instantly when he realised that you'd rejected his request. He scowled and sent another. 

There was a lot of Davids in New York City. Steve almost gave up after the first hour. He got up and made himself some coffee and sat back down. It took nearly another full hour before he found who he was looking for. David Holmes. A past lover? Steve shook his head. It didn't matter. The only lover you would ever take again was him.

"David, David," he tutted, "no privacy settings?"

Steve glowered at David's page and scrolled until his thumb hurt. David was married, but so were a lot of men and that didn't stop them. His son was...cute. Steve hated to admit it. Then his chest puffed up; you and him could do better. Would do better. 

Steve's brows shot up when he saw how close David lived. "Putting your address on the internet? With pictures of your child? Fucking dumbass." Steve said. There was something deeply discomforting about the close proximity to you. Steve chalked it up to jealousy, but it felt a little more foreboding than that.

Eventually Steve put his phone down. He made another cup of coffee and looked at the time. Five more hours. Then you'd be here, with him again. How it was meant to be. He peered at himself in the mirror and frowned. An hour or two of sleep couldn't hurt. He wanted to look his best for you. 

If he was lucky, he'd dream of you.

***

"Are you sure this is the best idea?"

You paused, your shoe half on your foot. You stood up and looked at Peggy. "What do you mean?"

Peggy shook her head. "I'm not stupid. Something's been bothering you and I'm not dumb enough to think it has nothing to do with that man."

You shrugged and slid your shoe on the rest of the way. "It's just Steve." you said, though you weren't sure if you were talking more to yourself. "He wouldn't hurt a fly. He's not that kind of person."

"Not everyone reacts well to rejection." Peggy said. You'd told her a little of what had gone on (excluding the name calling) and admitted that you were calling it off. You'd also spoken with her about moving out. She'd taken it well but was, naturally, a little upset. "He's still a man. A man who is a lot bigger than you."

"Stop worrying." you offered her a smile. "If it makes you feel better, I'll be moving in with two other adults and one of them is a man. He might even be the same height as Steve, actually."

"That's possible?" she joked. "Alright, but if you're not back in half an hour then I'm coming down."

You gave Peggy his apartment number and then left. You had two bags with you full of stuff, but not in an obvious way. It was just the essentials; a few days worth of clothes, identification, toiletries, the usual. You planned on going straight from Steve's to David's. You'd spoken to him this morning and sorted everything out in regards to the move. His partner had popped on a call to you to discuss some details and she'd been lovely. You looked forward to meeting her and some of David's friends. 

You got in the elevator and went to Steve's floor. It was oddly quiet. There was an older gentleman opening his door, a little further down the corridor from Steve's. He did a doubletake when he saw you and then sneered, shaking his head and tutting. Your frowned and watched him disappear into his apartment. You knocked on Steve's door.

"Hey, doll." Steve swung the door open and welcomed you in. He smiled brightly and dusted his hands over your shoulders when you walked by. You tried not to be too obvious when you yanked away from his touch.

"Listen, Steve, I know you wanted to talk but there isn't anything to say." you said. "You apologised. That's great, but it doesn't take back what you said."

Your mouth parted when Steve dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his face into your stomach. "No, doll, don't say that. I am so sorry. I would give anything - anything - to change it. I wasn't angry at you, I was angry at him."

For a moment you tried to pry his hands from your body. You gave up once it was clear that he wasn't budging. "You had no right to be angry at David, Steve. He was my friend. That's all he's ever been and all he will ever be."

Steve didn't respond. His body was weirdly cool and you shivered in his grasp. Steve shuddered and squeezed you even tighter. You could feel his hot breaths against your stomach and you squirmed in discomfort. It was almost endearing, but every time you thought something positive, the word 'slut' flashed across your mind. Nobody deserved that kind of disrespect. 

"It's over, Steve." you said quietly. "Let me go."

Steve stood up so suddenly that it made you dizzy. He gripped your shoulders and locked eyes with you. "You can't do this to me. You can't do this to us, baby. We're meant to be together." he stiffened. "I'll never stop coming to you. I'll come to your apartment everyday--"

You laughed mirthlessly. "Have fun with that because I won't be there."

Steve blinked. "Excuse me."

"I'm moving out." you gestured to your bags. "Today. I'm getting the rest of my stuff later."

Steve's mouth opened and closed for a moment. He looked genuinely shocked. "You can't do that. Where? Where are you going?"

Your lips parted to tell him. You stopped yourself with a pinch to your thigh. It was not right, how easy it was for you to just jump to his beck and call. It was stupid to get in a relationship with someone so much older than you. It was a shame that you were only seeing it now.

"What, so you can come and bother me everyday?" you scoffed. "Nice try. This is unhealthy, Steve. I think it's time we meet some people our own age."

This time he didn't stop you prying his fingers from your body. He whimpered when you dropped his hands and they twitched by his side. You grasped onto the straps of your bags and walked as quickly as you could without running. Your heart was about to beat out of your chest and your mouth was the driest it had ever been. Your palms were sweaty.

You closed the door behind you and jumped at the crashing sound that came from the apartment. For a moment you debated going back in, then another bang came and you scurried away. You pretended not to hear the roar that was only cut off once you got in the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! There's been a few lately and they get me so motivated, I'm so happy people are enjoy my fic :)


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve shows up. Repeatedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My excitement for this fic has returned in full force after all the comments with you guys sharing your own excitement for it. Thank you so much, it means the world!

Sebastian was one of the cutest babies you had ever seen. Big, round eyes and a head full of unruly hair. Cute, chubby fists that made grabby motions whenever he wanted to be picked up. You'd spent only two days with the Holmes family and already you had baby fever. 

David's wife, Allison, was a spitfire herself. She stood at just over five foot but you got the sense that she'd do anything for her family. She was the type of person that made you crave her approval. Luckily it hadn't taken too long. Within half a day you'd been laughing together like old friends. It was comforting. 

Her and David felt comfortable enough to leave Sebastian with you, too. Tonight was date night, and instead of calling their usual babysitter, you were called in. Sebastian had latched himself onto you as soon as his mother walked out the door and he'd been on your hip since then. They had promised they wouldn't be out for long. Six till nine at the latest, they'd said.

"Look at this," you wriggled a stuffed toy in front of Sebastian's face, "isn't it cute? Just like you!"

Sebastian giggled and ripped the toy from your hands. The ear of it went straight into his mouth. He looked to be gnawing it within an inch of it's life. You rested your chin on your hands and watched as he played. There was a flutter of yearning in your chest. 

You lay back against the sofa and flickered through the channels. Sebastian crawled into your lap, bringing the toy with him. He lay back against your chest and gave a big hearty sigh. He was too young for a proper bedtime yet. He was on a strict schedule of whenever he felt like it. Your hand inched towards the blanket he never slept without. You cocooned him in it and cooed at his little round face. 

It felt natural, having a baby in your arms. Your mind strayed to Steve, as it had often in the last few days. You wondered what he would've been like as a father. Then you recalled the way he'd spoken to you and quickly banished the thought. 

Sebastian was almost asleep when there was a knock at the door. You glanced over your shoulder and managed to just about see the shadow of a person in front of the door. Cradling Sebastian to your chest, you went to the door. Your brows twitched. It was hard to make out a figure in the dark but it almost looked as if no one was there.

No one was. You stuck your head out of the door and peered around. The streets were quiet. Maybe someone had come with a package but assumed no one was in. David had taken the car. Sebastian squirmed in your hold and you shut the door and locked it. 

You went back into the sitting room, only to have your blood freeze as you walked past the window. Across the street, standing in the mouth of an alley, was Steve. He wore a great big hulking coat but there was no mistaking it. For a moment you stood there, staring at each other. Then he lifted his hand and waved. 

You yanked the curtains shut instantly. Sebastian began to wail and you shushed him gently. It was no good. He could probably feel the way your heart was pounding in your chest. Your stomach churned and you rushed to put Sebastian down. You spent the next few minutes running around the house, shutting all the windows and locking all the doors. 

Your hand paused on the home phone. Sebastian crawled his way to your leg, making desperate grabby hands at you. You gave in and scooped him to your chest, inhaling into his hair and letting out a shaky breath. Slowly, you peeled back the curtains. Steve was gone.

Never had you felt such immense relief in your life. Still, you spent the next few hours on the sofa, clutching the phone in your hand with a white grip. Every single time the wind blew a little too hard, every single time a person walked by, you came close to jumping out of your skin. Sweat beaded on your forehead and made the phone almost slip from your hand. 

When David and Allison came home, you nearly had a seizure at the sound of the door unlocking. You came close to beaning a toy truck at David's forehead when he stuck his head around the door. He grinned. "How was he?"

You swallowed. "He's been an angel, really. How was your date?"

"It was great but the guy was a little handsy." Allison beamed up at David and winked at you. "I'm not sure if I'd want to see him again."

The mood in the room instantly relaxed. Still, you felt unbearably tense. You let Allison take Sebastian from your arms and watched as she slowly took him upstairs. David look at you curiously. "Did...something happen?"

"I think I saw my ex." you blurted. You'd debated on telling them for over an hour. One look at Allison smiling down at Sebastian and you knew you had to.

David tensed. "What? Did he come to the door?"

"Oh, no," you explained, "someone knocked but when I answered it I saw him across the street. Staring at me."

David nodded, "The kids do play knock a door run sometimes. Are you sure it was him?"

You blinked. "I-yes. Positive. I don't think it was kids, David."

"We're not far from the main streets, you know." David said. "He was probably just passing through. I thought it was a mutual break up anyway?"

Your mouth opened and shut. The word 'slut' danced across your vision. "Yeah. It was. But I don't think he'd just pass through here, David." you felt betrayed. David knew how prickly Steve was and he still wasn't believing you? You gnawed on your bottom lip. Maybe you were overreacting. "Do...the kids really play that game?"

"All the time." David rested his huge hand on your shoulder. "I understand why you'd be concerned, though. I appreciate you looking out for Sebastian."

"Yeah." you smiled weakly. "No problem."

You excused yourself after that. Allison passed you on the stairs and you sent her a wobbly smile, telling her that David would explain everything. She gave you a sympathetic look and let you go. 

Your room was on the top floor, what would have been an attic. It was probably the largest space you'd ever lived in. There was an en suite as well as a few kitchen appliances. You could probably live up here without ever having to go downstairs. There was even a door for the outside and the fire escape. It was perfect.

One of the first things you'd purchased was a second hand laptop. You'd been using it to search for jobs and so far, no luck. You'd applied for another library position and then a few waitressing. Your feet ached at just the thought of it. Still, it wasn't urgent. You had another few months, maybe almost a year, before you needed to be concerned about money. 

It gave you a funny feeling, using the money. You couldn't spend it without thinking of Steve. You wondered if that had been his intention. Again, you thought of earlier. It _had_ been a bulky coat. Steve wasn't the only tall guy in New York either. Perhaps David was right. It could have just been some friendly guy taking a break from walking.

That night, as you settled down to sleep, you couldn't stop yourself from staring restlessly at the fire escape. There was a sliver of glass at the top of the door and you jumped every time the shadow of a branch darkened it. Eventually you managed to drift into a restless sleep. As you drifted off, for the first time that night, you felt as if something was staring back. 

***

A few days later found you babysitting Sebastian again. It was midday and both the Holmes' were back at work. David only part time, Allison full time. You'd been wary to accept at first. David had assured you that it was entirely safe, and had even demonstrated how strong the locks were. Nothing was getting in without a key. They'd left with a cheery goodbye and you'd been sweating before they'd even pulled off.

Now, two hours later, you were feeling quite foolish. Sebastian was having a midday nap and you were flicking through a romance novel. You struggled not to gag at some of the scenes. You'd love to know when it was your turn to find a loving and devoted partner. 

A knock at the door had your head snapping up. You peered in at Sebastian in his portable crib. He sniffled and jerked in his sleep but didn't wake up. The door bell went and you swore, hurrying to the door before there was anymore noise. 

"Hel-" your jaw dropped. Steve stood there, a few feet away, leaning casually on the garden wall. You were speechless. Terror seized and you moved to shut the door.

"Wait." Steve snapped. He leaned closer and peered behind you. "Where's the baby? Having a baby on your hip suited you."

"Steve, you can't be here." you straightened your back. "I'll call the police."

"For what?" he gestured down at himself. "I'm not on the property. I'll be gone before they get here."

"Why are you here?" you could hear Sebastian shuffling around so you lowered your voice.

"Isn't it obvious?" he grinned widely. "I wanted to see my girl. I've _missed_ you."

You were at a total loss. "Mr. Rogers, this is not appropriate. Leave now. You're not above the law. Don't make me have to prove it to you." Sebastian began wailing and you shifted, looking between Steve and the crib.

"Mr. Rogers?" he sounded oddly hurt. He whispered your name. "Don't call me that, baby. C'mon now. I just--"

"We were partners. Business partners." you glared at him. "That's all. Leave now, Mr. Rogers."

"Baby, you don't know what you're doing." he closed his eyes and you watched in horror as his hand slid down the front of his jeans. "It's okay. I'll get you back."

You slammed the door shut so hard that the pictures rattled on the wall. You darted into the sitting room, snatching the curtains closed as you went. Sebastian was teary-eyed and your heart jerked at the sight of the snot smeared across his cherry-red cheeks. "Oh, baby. I am so sorry. The nasty man won't come again, I promise."

It took a while for Sebastian to quieten down and even longer for your heart to stop racing. This had gotten way out of hand. Still, the police were hardly an option. You knew what happened to rich men when the police got involved. Nothing. Still, threatening him with it would work so long as he never realised you wouldn't follow through. 

Izzy Marrole came to mind and you flinched. You'd gone to high school with her. Izzy had been one of the first girls to get a boyfriend. An older one, too. She's been barely past the age of legal consent and he'd been approaching thirty. He'd gotten her hooked on drugs and she'd broken up with him. He stalked her for a few weeks. Izzy had reported every incident to the police but that didn't stop him from breaking in and assaulting her. They found him dead, after that. OD'd. No one had been sad to learn of his passing. Especially not when he probably wouldn't have gone to jail for what he'd done. 

Izzy was better now. She lectured at collages and ran a few groups for abuse survivors. You'd always thought of her as brave. Was Steve comparable to Izzy's abuser? It was hard to say. Steve had never laid a finger on you. Did that really make a difference though?

***

A day after Steve had shown up at David's house, a parcel came addressed to you. David was home so you took it upstairs. A week ago you'd ordered some books. You frowned. They were a little heavy for books. 

You wrestled with the tape and tore out the various bits of protective packaging. You came to a violent halt as you took a good look at what was in the box."Oh, my God." you sat back on the bed. 

Inside the box was a masturbation starter kit. A vibrator, dildo, kegel balls, nipple clamps and some wipes. There was also a box of batteries. Taped onto the batteries was a note, also addressed to you. Your hands shook as you brought it to your face.

_'Hey, doll. Thought this could tide you over until I next see you.  
Love, Daddy.'_

You rushed into the bathroom and dry heaved. Your eyes watered viciously as your body tried to force up what little food you'd eaten. You felt sick to your stomach. The first thought that came was to throw it all out, make it so you never had to see it again. Then Izzy came to mind. It was best to save these kind of things. For evidence. 

You sat back on your heels and blinked blearily up at the lights. You prayed that it would never come to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment to let me know what you think ;)


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it comes to Steve, it seems that there's no end in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some non-con groping in this chapter. Be warned!

You tugged your coat tighter around your body and cast a cautious glace up to the sky. The clouds were dark and threatened heavy rain. Maybe even some thunder. No sooner had you had the though, a 'boom' sounded from the heavens. You walked a little quicker.

Steve hadn't made an appearance in a just under a week. Sometimes you wondered if it was all in your head. Then you'd open the bedside draw and catch sight of the contents. Your stomach churned just at the thought of it. You had no idea how to dispose of them without David catching on.

Not disposing of them was not an option. The other night, you'd come disturbingly close to sliding a battery into the vibrator and giving it a go. You had needs. You'd gone from a very flavourful sex life to none at all. Even your own fingers didn't seem to be on your side anymore. 

A fat drop of rain fell on your cheeks. You wiped it away and cursed yourself for not bringing an umbrella. The sky darkened and you fumbled with your borrowed phone, shooting David a text to tell him that you'd be late and not to wait up.

Since David and Allison had been home for the last few days, you'd had time to go out and look for jobs. It still wasn't urgent but you wanted to be busy. Tonight had found you in a library, nose deep in books that you hadn't bought. You'd lost track of the time and it was now shortly after nine o'clock. The library had even had a cute café. You'd almost been tempted to stay.

You'd also been trying to save money, which involved avoiding public transport and walking when you could. You rubbed your fingers over your purse and briefly wondered if you should give in. Just for tonight.

Footsteps echoed around and you glanced over your shoulder. There was an elderly woman not far behind you. She smiled when she saw you looking and you automatically returned the gesture. 

The rain began to fall a little faster as the clouds came directly over head. There was a flash of lightening followed by another boom and you began to jog. Your coat had no hood, nor was it the thickest one you owned. 

You wrapped the handles of the plastic bag around your wrist. Food shopping had also been on your To-Do list so you'd gotten a few things to tide you over for the next couple of days. You were on Sebastian duty tomorrow so that would keep you busy.

"That looks heavy. I'll carry it for you, doll."

You yelped and stumbled into the street. The only thing preventing you from tripping in front of a car was the vice grip on your upper arm. The car blared it's horn as it went by but it barely registered. 

Snatching your arm from his grip, you took a step away from Steve. You looked around. The old lady was gone; you were alone. The houses seemed usually dark, too. It was like the whole street was holding it's breath.

Steve tried to take the bag of food again but you pulled it back. Your mouth was hanging open as you took him in. He tucked his hands into his pockets and tilted his head, nonchalantly swaying on his feet. 

He took a step forward. You took one back. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see my girl."

"Mr. Rogers," you said sharply, "I am seriously on the verge of calling the police. This is harassment. Leave me alone."

"Jeez," he snarled, "can't a guy try to win his girl back? You're upsetting me, doll."

Your nostrils flared. This, the talking, clearly wasn't working. You turned on your heel and stormed down the street. The rain and thunder concealed the sound of his steps until he grabbed your shoulder. You gasped and wretched it out of his grip, swinging the bag round until it made contact with his thigh. 

He wetted his lips with his tongue. "I can't let you walk around in this. You'll get sick."

"Fuck off." you said. 

Steve stared dumbly at you for a minute. His jaw ticked. "Are you fucking David?"

"What? No!" your voice was getting increasingly high pitched. "And if I was, it wouldn't be your business. You apologised for calling me a slut but you're still insinuating it."

"It _is_ my business." he insisted. You began to walk away again but he matched your pace and shielded your body from the rain with his. Your lip curled up. You'd rather get drenched and catch a cold than be anywhere near Steve.

You thought you'd gotten far enough. Moving to David's had seemed a good idea. Now you were beginning to wonder if a bigger move was in order. One involving thousands of miles, planes, taxis and maybe a restraining order. 

You were momentarily distracted by plans of escape. You didn't notice Steve's hand creeping up to hover over your shoulder, and you didn't notice the black limo idling on the street corner. Not until it was too late.

As you passed the car, the back door slid open. There was a man sitting inside, looking straight at you. Steve's hand came down on your shoulder and he shoved you side ways, straight into the arms of the man. It happened so fast. Steve clambered into the back and banged on the glass separating the back from the front. "Fucking _drive_!"

Your bag had ripped open, spilling varies fruits over the interior of the car. Finally your mind caught up. You open your mouth to scream but Steve clamped his hand over it. His palm was damp and you raked your teeth over it. Steve moaned, eyelashes fluttering. "Fuck, sweetheart."

You recoiled, smashing your head on the glass. There was a dull pain in the back of your head but you ignored it, turning around to smash your hands into the glass. "Help! Help me, pleas--"

Steve's tree trunk arms wrapped around you from behind. He hugged you to his chest and forced your arms to your sides. The other man watched with a vague interest. He dragged you back until he was sitting in the seat and you were partly in his lap. He rocked you gently, even as you struggled. "Shh, doll. I don't want you do be upset."

"Let me out!" you demanded. Your eyes strayed to Steve's silent companion. "What the fuck is wrong with you? If you let me out now, I swear I won't tell." you were embarrassed to find yourself practically begging already.

"Honey, no. You know it's no good for you to be alone." Steve fidgeted in the seat. You gasped at the hard line that was suddenly pressed against your backside. "Oh, I've missed you. So much. Too much."

You frantically struggled, shouting obscenities as he rocked you. Steve followed your line of sight to the window. "It's blacked out. I knew this would be hard for you at first, so I've made some adjustments. In here and at home."

"Home?" you spat. "What the fuck are you talking about?" suddenly you sagged, going boneless in his grip. The events of the past few months played before your eyes and you shuddered. "I should _never_ have gotten a sugar daddy. What have I done?"

"Sugar daddy?" Steve said. "I'm more than that. You know I am. I'm it for you."

 _Oh, God._ The interior of the car swayed before your eyes. _Oh, God._ Steve was not in his right mind. You'd know something was off. The way he'd shown up at David's, the gift, the relentless pursuit. Now, sitting in the back of some car, the full extent of it was setting in. 

Steve Rogers had lost his fucking mind.

***

The rest of the car ride was silent. You'd stopped struggling as soon as the car left New York. You'd stared, open-mouthed, as the skyscrapers and lights had disappeared from your vision. You'd been on the verge of throwing up. It worsened when Steve began to run careful fingers through your hair.

The whole ordeal caught up to you at some point and you passed out. When you came to, the stranger was gone and you could hear two voices from the front. Steve had adjusted you in his lap and his hand had wormed its way under your top. Your coat was laid across the seat next to him.

Steve stroked gentle patterns into the skin of your stomach. You fought hard against the revulsion, instead trying to force yourself back into sleep. You didn't want to be awake for this. But every time you began to drop off, Steve pinched your hip. He was still rock hard against your back.

You began to sweat as the hours passed by. Two, three, four. It was late at night. The roads were engulfed in total darkness. You kept your eye out for landmarks or any signs to tell you where you were. Whoever was driving was taking all the precautions to make sure there was none. The majority of the journey was spent on seedy, winding back roads. 

"What about your business?" you croaked. 

Steve reached forward to retrieve a bottle of water. You tried to take it from him but he shook his head, instead tilting your head back and slowly pouring the water into your mouth. "I've taken a break. First one I've had in years, minus our little vacation."

"Who are the other men?"

His gaze sharpened. "My friends. Why?"

You scoffed. "I would like to know who my kidnappers are."

"Kidnappers?" Steve's brow furrowed. "Doll, I'm helping you. You need me. Need _us_ to be together."

You took in a deep breath and attempted to calm yourself. The situation was becoming more and more absurd by the minute. Steve hummed to himself, never taking his eyes from your face.

 _This is okay,_ you told yourself, _I can get out of this. As soon as we stop, I'm turning this whole ride upside fucking down._

Sweat was gathering along your hairline. Steve dabbed at it with a tissue and you recoiled, shooting him a sharp look. He brushed it off and smiled down at you, eyes slightly clouded. 

His hand began to trail down your neck. You slapped it away but he used his other hand to restrain you, pulling both arms over your head and leaving you defenceless. Your blood ran cold. "Steve, no. Don't you fucking touch me."

He ignored you and palmed your breasts. You wriggled in his lap but he wasn't deterred. If anything it egged him on. He touched you until your nipples were hardened points, their outline clear beneath your thin sports bra and even thinner t-shirt. Embarrassment coursed hot through your veins.

Steve pinched your nipples until you were whimpering. Moisture gathered in the corner of your eyes. You clamped your thighs together and prayed he would go no further. The beginnings of reluctant arousal were making themselves known. 

"That's it," Steve cooed, "just let me. Let me, doll."

He seemed to come to, snatching his hand from your chest and laughing. "I got ahead of myself there. I can wait." he sounded more as if he was convincing himself. "I can wait a little longer. Until we get home."

Despair settled in the pit of your stomach. You dreaded to think of what exactly 'home' was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation finally sinks in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! I've recently started back at work n it's whooping my ass. I've not abandoned this fic and I swear I'll finish it!

Two hours later found you still in the car, huddled firmly in the corner opposite Steve. He was fiddling on your phone, typing and deleting messages. You could just about make out the screen in the reflection of the window. He was messaging your friends.

You prayed that David had enough sense to know you wouldn't just up and vanish like this. Or Peggy, even. You'd tried all the door handles and even begged repeatedly (much to Steve's delight) so now it seemed your only option was to rely on others.

Eventually, the car turned into a long, dirt drive. You peered out the window, cupping your hands to the glass for a better look. Your worst fears were confirmed. There was no other houses around. Not a single sign of people. Your shoulders sagged. Steve smiled.

At the end of the road, there was a farmhouse. There was various other buildings too, built for animals, but they all looked empty. It was in good condition, though. For miles and miles, all you could see was fields. Mostly barren, given the time of the year.

The car pulled to a stop. Your pulse jumped and you swivelled to face Steve. He was already staring at you. He grinned and said, "What do you think, baby? I thought you'd appreciate somewhere a little more private."

You barely stopped yourself from dry heaving. The car door on Steve's side opened. The man who'd been in the back earlier was there. He said, "Do you want us to stick around for a while?" he cast a glance in your direction.

"We're good, Buck," Steve replied, "I'll get her inside and then you can head out. You stocked up with groceries, right?"

"Yeah." the man, Buck, nodded and gave you another look. "She's not what I expected."

"Oh? And what did you expect?" you snapped.

To your surprise, a grin played across his lips. "Maybe someone a little more docile."

The car door on your side opened so suddenly that you almost tumbled out. There was a second man with dark, closely cropped hair and a gap between his teeth. His muscles bulged as he held you up by your arm. You scrambled to your feet and pressed yourself to the car. It was cold.

Steve appeared at your side, holding several bags. Your jaw dropped as you caught sight of the contents. "Is - is that my stuff?"

"Sure is, baby," Steve beamed, "thought I'd do you a favour and swing by before I came to get you. That kid really is cute, huh?"

"Don't you dare hurt him," you snarled, taking a step forward as if to lunge. "That's low, Steve. Really fucking low."

"C'mon," he said, "you know me well enough to know I wouldn't do anything to a kid."

"I thought I knew you well enough to know you wouldn't kidnap me."

"Right," the man glanced between the pair of you, "We'll see you later, man. Give us a shout if you need anything."

Not for the first time, you began to wonder who Steve Rogers was. Beyond the CEO and sugar daddy. These were clearly friends. Friends that would do anything for him, including kidnapping. Your throat tightened and your eyes began to water.

  
Steve ushered you toward the house and you went without protest. You heard the car pulling away but you didn’t turn to watch. That would’ve felt too much like the final nail in the coffin.

He pushed the door open. It was all open space, apart from the staircase in the middle of the room. There was a kitchen with an island in the middle, a living room and what looked like a utility room. It was far bigger than anything you’d ever lived in before. It looked even to be a little bigger than Peggy’s apartment.

One thing was very obvious; the lack of privacy. You wondered how much was intentional. You wouldn’t even be able to sneeze without Steve knowing about it.

You yanked your shoulder from Steve’s grip. He frowned and looked almost hurt. Your palm itched to smack the look from his face. He didn’t deserve any kind of empathy. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to be feeling that way. 

On shaky legs, you walked over to the sofa. It was obnoxiously soft and your body practically sank into it. Steve smiled softly. He turned back to the door and you heard something like the whirring of a computer. When he turned away, he picked up the bags off the floor and gestured upstairs. You watched him numbly as he disappeared.

Immediately you got to your feet and went to the door. Your jaw dropped at the sight of several locks, several deadbolts and a screen. The screen showed six different pictures - no, videos. Each was fed by a camera pointing in a different direction. _Every direction._

You walked away with a tremor in your hands. Next you went to the window above the sink. For several seconds your pried at it. It didn’t budge. It felt almost as if it had been glued shut.

”Have you had the chance to look around?”

You jumped. You whirled around to face Steve. Surprisingly, he didn’t look pissed. Only interested. 

“I put a lot of thought into this.” he gestured around the place. “Stuff professionals recommended. Stuff that I thought of. It’s impressive, you have to admit.”

”It’s sick, is what it is,” you spat, “what’s the plan? To keep me here forever? A prisoner?”

”You’ll gave more freedom once you understand. Once you can appreciate me.”

“Newsflash, asshole. I’ll _never_ appreciate you. I promise you right now. I will hate you for this.”

”You can’t say that,” he dismissed you immediately, “you loved me once. You’ll do it again.”

”Loved? What are you talking about?” never had you said anything of the sort. You’d never planned on it and never wanted to.

He wasn’t even listening to you. You could practically see the metaphorical earplugs shoved deep in his ears. Your entire body was trembling. You half expected him to attack. 

“Baby,” he said slowly, “I know you’re a little upset right now, so I’m not going to take it personally. But you need to watch your fucking mouth.”

There was rage in his eyes, in his body language. Never had you felt so on edge before. Your entire body ached from the shaking. You braced yourself against the counter and fought for breath. 

Steve slid up in front of you. Before you could speak, his hand tangled itself in your hair and he wretched your neck back. You shiver when his nose ran up the exposed column of skin. He inhaled deeply at your jawline. Your body jolted as his tongue shot out to lave your ear. There was another emotion lingering beneath fear. Acknowledging it made you feel sick.

“You remember this, don’t you?” he cooed, “Your body does. So responsive for me.”

His finger brushed your nipple. You were shaken to realise that it was stiff, responding as he claimed. Embarrassment fought you in waves and you angled your face away from him. 

Steve tutted. Pinching your chin between his fingers, he forced you to face him. There was a small ring of blue around blown out pupils. His dick was pressed into your hipbone and you gasped at the feel of it pulsing. Never had you known it could get this hard. Your eyelashes fluttered and you stubbornly looked away.

“There’s no need for that,” he reassured you, “I can give you anything you want. Including this.” his fingers stroked down your stomach and fluttered across your mons. 

A pulse of arousal had you feeling more shame than was bearable. You tore yourself from his grasp and sent an accusatory look. He held his hands up. His eyes were stern, in the way that said ‘I let you get away with it that time but not again’.

“Please,” you wet your lips, “if you let me go, I won’t tell anyone. I’ll even walk.”

“Nearest place from here isn’t for miles,” he said, “I made sure of it.”

_Nail in the coffin._

You almost tripped over your feet in the rush to back away. You moved until the sofa was between you and Steve. It wasn’t any real defence but it made you feel less ill to have something between him and yourself.

You shifted and felt the crotch of your panties stick to your cleft. Your cheeks burned hot pink. Your body was traitorous, it seemed. Then again, how could you blame yourself? Steve had been intimate with you many times, and it had been admittedly good. Naturally, your body would be used to his touch. Still, the sour feeling in your gut would not go away. 

“You’ve had a long day, baby. I think some sleep would do you some good.”

“Sleep?” you said. There was a helpless note to your voice. “I can’t sleep here.” despite your words, the weight on your eyelids seemed to be increasing. 

“Sure you can. I’ll show you our room,” Steve stood at the bottom of the stairs and gestured for you to go up.

You did so without complaint. His eyes were heavy on your ass. The urge to reach around and cover yourself was almost unbearable. The only thing stopping you was the knowledge that it would likely do no good.

Upstairs was a corridor with four rooms springing off of it. Only one door was open and it lead to a bathroom. Steve lead you past it and opened a door on the left. 

“I hope you like it,” he said.

The walls were a cream colour, the floors glossy and well kept. There was a huge bed with a white rug at one end, and a bedside table at each side. There was a reading book built into the window and bookshelves on either side. To your surprise, there was even a TV at the end of the bed. There were several draws with various knickknacks on top of them. It looked lived in already.

Upon closer examination, the picture frames held pictures of you. Well, not just you. There was one of you and Peggy, one from your sports team in high school, one of you as a chubby eleven year old. There was several of Steve, too. The one that stood out most was clearly taken at some kind of event. He was wearing a suit and was stood next to a towering blond guy who made even Steve look small. On his other side was Buck, from the car, and you could see the other guy in the background. You withered inside. Just how many of them was there?

You turned around and stopped so suddenly that you nearly went head over heels. On one side of the bed, painted a minty green, was a crib. 

“You seem like the type to want the baby to sleep with us for the first few months,” Steve explained, “so I went ahead and got this. We can get a different colour though, if you want.”

_Nail. In. The fucking. Coffin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, if you can, leave a comment to let me know what you think. It's much appreciated!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve thinks about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy and leave me a comment if you can ;)

Steve dialled up the stove and stepped away, satisfied with the pot of bubbling pasta. He had the sauce cooking on the stove too, and meatballs in the oven. And if everything went to plan, he’d have you in his bed by the end of the night.

He glanced at the clock. He winced when he saw it was just past eight; a little late to be eating. Still, he could hardly let you go hungry. Dropping the cloth on the table, he peeked into the living room. 

You were sitting on the sofa, body turned to face the TV. Some reality show was on, but you weren’t watching it. Not really. Your eyes were fixed on the floor, deep in thought. Steve bit his lip. What he wouldn’t give to know what you were thinking. Every time he thought he had enough, he’d look at you and yearn for more. For _everything_. 

He knew that his methods weren’t... _conventional_. But neither was your entire relationships. None of it was ordinary. Steve found that he wouldn’t want it any other way. Something a little like guilt pinched at his insides and he mentally swatted it away. He’d gone too far, was it too deep, to be having regrets. He’d long accepted that this was the only way. 

His fingers itched to reach out to you, brush through your hair, sweep down your chest. It had been far too long since he’d last had his hands on you. He comforted himself with the knowledge that he’d never have to wait this long again. 

You were it. _It._ Steve hadn’t ever really thought about it before you. He went out on dates, had sex, was social. The need for a more permanent partner had never really pressed him. Then he’d seen you, half-running down the street in a too thin dress on a summer’s afternoon. It had been humid, and he remembered feeling glad that it had started raining. Flats splashing through puddles, you’d come running round the corner. You’d been drenched, and you were laughing to yourself as you darted through clusters of people, scattered about in an attempt to avoid the rain. But not you. 

He’d almost thought to reach out for you, maybe even follow you, but you’d been too fast. Too fleeting. He’d scolded himself for weeks, working himself to the bone and wondering why he hadn’t just taken the leap. He’d had an awful feeling that it would’ve been worth it.

And was. When he’d seen you in the elevator, dressed differently and maybe not as happy as before (but still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen), he’d nearly shouted. He’d been shocked into silence at the burning determination in your eyes, the silent pride that made his lips part in awe. It made you that much more real. 

He’d fumbled that first meeting. Offered you a card like you were one of _those_ girls. Turning him down had only encouraged him and Steve found himself spiralling into infatuation. He knew it wasn’t right by societies standards, but it was right by his. Would be right by yours.

Turning back into the kitchen, Steve turned the oven off when it began to beep. There was enough food here for at least a week, and he already had a shopping list prepared for the next week. The internet had told him that diet was very important for women trying for babies, and even more important once they were actually pregnant. His cock twitched in interest at the thought of your belly swollen, filled with his child. 

Again, he came to watch you in the living room. If you knew he was there, you didn’t show it. He thought about the future that you would share together and glanced down at his bare finger. _Soon,_ he thought to himself, I can have it all.

Children had never really appealed to him before. Steve understood why people had them just as much as why the didn’t. But the thought of children with you? Shit, he almost felt lightheaded. It was the ultimate way to bind you as a pair, as a family. It had to happen. Steve couldn’t rest until it did.

Still, forcing pregnancy on you could be dangerous for both you and a baby. It was best to wait for a while, court you as he’d been doing before, then make the move. Call it a happy accident or something. 

Emptying the pasta into a colander, Steve’s mind continued to drift. It would take time, he knew that. He wasn’t delusional. But you’d felt for him before, cared for him, and he knew that he could get you like that again. There were ways. Though there were some that he hoped he wouldn’t have to use. 

***

The smell of pasta had you lifting your head and turning slightly toward the kitchen. From the corner of your eye, you could just make out Steve’s back. Your eyes slid to the door and the copious amount of cameras. There was no use in just making a run for it, even if he wasn’t looking. And he so often was. 

Every time you began to relax, you felt his eyes on you like a physical touch. Heavy, unavoidable. Unwanted. You’d had half the mind to turn and snap at him, but you figured that it would probably hurt him more if you didn’t speak at all. 

You heard him slide plates out of cupboards and grab cutlery from a draw. At the first opportunity, you planned to take a proper look around the house. You knew that there were knives in the kitchen and if it came down to it...well, you hoped that it didn’t. Plain old escape was far more appealing than murder. Just thinking of the word made a shiver slide up your spine.

“Doll?” Steve called. “Dinner’s ready.”

You tensed up. It sounded so casual, so normal. You made yourself stand up and walk toward the kitchen. You kept your eyes firmly ahead of you. Showing obvious weakness just wasn’t your style.

Steve pulled out a chair for you and ushered you into it. You nearly flinched when his hand dusted across your hip. He noticed and did it again, but firmer. You gritted your teeth and sat down, moving forward and away from the heat of his body.

“Okay,” he said, but mostly to himself. He spoke louder, “Okay, doll, I made you dinner. I hope you enjoy it.” 

Steve pushed a heaped plate of spaghetti meatballs in front of you. It smelled good. You scowled and debated eating it. The only thing that changed your mind was your stomach cramping. The last time you’d eaten had been at breakfast.

Sat opposite you, Steve was tucking into his meal with gusto. His knee kept brushing yours under the table but you had no room to sit back. He was definitely doing it on purpose. Each time his foot dusted yours, shocks flew up your legs and into your stomach. You felt a curious mixture of disgust and reluctant arousal. Swallowing deeply, you began to eat, if only to disrupt your thoughts. 

“Oh,” he said, standing up. He went and retrieved something from the cupboard before sitting back down. “Here. Don’t wanna forget these.”

He presented you with a box of pills. It was the same generic cardboard rectangle as any drug store painkiller, only it had no labelling on. Like it had been taken out of the original packaging. Steve pushed them across the table with a glass of water. “Take two.”

“I- what?” you said. “What are these, Steve?”

“How are the meatballs? I think I might’ve had the temperature up a little too high,” he pointedly ignored your question. Dread speared your gut.

“Steve,” you said lowly, “How can you expect me to take these if I don’t even know what they are?”

“I expect,” he emphasised the last word, “you to trust me and know that I know what’s best. I can look after you, doll. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

You let your cutlery clatter to the plate. “Don’t fucking say that to me. You don’t care about me, Steve Rogers. You don’t care about anyone but yourself—“

Steve’s fist hit the table with an almighty thump. Your jaw clamped shut so quickly that your teeth clattered. He slowly chewed a mouthful of food, not looking up from his plate. It felt too much like you were being scolded, like you were in the head master’s office.

“What,” he began, “did I tell you about your language? Don’t swear at me.”

“Or what?” you said snidely. 

“You’ll get a punishment,” he said bluntly, “and don’t try and argue with me. One more time, doll. I’m waiting for you to give me an excuse.”

All it took was one look at his face, his eyes, and you knew he was telling the truth. Punishment. Your heart stumbled at the words. It conjured up an abundance of images in your mind. Your stomach rolled. Steeling your nerves, you picked up your cutlery and began to mechanically feed yourself. It tasted like ash in your mouth. It was heavy and hard to swallow. 

Steve made idle chatter as you forced yourself to eat. He spoke about the house and all the improvements he’d made to it, all the special features that he was sure you’d like. Then it was work, and how relieving it was to have time off for once. Steve was doing his best to make it seem like a normal situation, like you were just a normal family or something. It made your head spin. 

It was clear that he wanted it to be how it was before. That and more. And he was willing to keep you here until it was. One part of you whispered that that would mean you would never leave, because you stubbornly planned on never giving in. Another, more traitorous part hissed that Steve was right. All it would take was a few nice dinners, sweet words and mind-blowing sex and everything would snap back to normal. You felt torn in two, like you were a spectator outside your own body. 

This wasn’t an ordinary situation. Your mind wasn’t prepared for this kind of stress, this kind of mind-fuck. The only person that you had to rely on was yourself, but it was beginning to look like even that door was closing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think if you can!! x


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You scheme away as Steve leaves for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe it took me this long to update. I am blaming it wholeheartedly on my new addiction to the book side of TikTok.  
> Just a little reminder - this fic has incredibly dark themes! Someone commented something a few weeks ago that wasn't entirely kind and I just wanted to remind everyone that if you don't like it, don't read it! Thank you x

The sound of gravel under car wheels was like music to your ears. You watched in the video feed as Steve pulled away in some car that hadn't been there the day before, debris from the dirt road flying up as he disappeared from sight. Sweat beaded on your upper lip and you absently swiped it away. Steve leaving hadn't seemed like a real possibility until now.

Earlier this morning he'd had a phone call. He'd seemed relatively calm but the shadow in his eyes said different. It wasn't until after breakfast that he'd said he was going out for a little while, only an hour or two. You'd almost scoffed. Only? You'd kill for an hour or so to yourself. 

It had been four days since Steve had bought you here. It felt more like an eternity, but the small scratches you'd made on the bedframe said different. Steve either hadn't noticed or hadn't cared. Still, you made attempts to hide them by tugging the duvet cover down until it just about concealed them, white and thin in comparison to the rich brown. 

Even after Steve had vanished from sight, you stood there and watched the tapes. You weren't stupid. You knew there were cameras in the house. Steve had said as much, albeit reluctantly. Still, if he wasn't there then there wasn't much he could do, was there?

You rocked on your heels, feeling the floor bite into your bare feet. Grounding you. There wasn't as single fucking pair of shoes in the house. Even the ones you'd been wearing when you'd first arrived had mysteriously vanished. Steve was hiding them somewhere - he'd been wearing a pair when he'd left. Staring out at the miles of fields and dirt paths, you knew that if you ever wanted to get out then shoes would be a necessity. 

When it began to feel as if you could breathe properly, you finally turned away from the screen. It pissed you off, knowing that it was only there because Steve wanted you to know that he would always be able to see you. Your stomach churned but you ignored the bowl of porridge at the table. It had long gone cold, and Steve hadn't had enough time to force you to eat it. 

You ripped open every draw in the kitchen even though you already knew what you would find. Blunt cutlery, no sign of the sharp knives you'd seen Steve using whenever he prepared dinner. He was hiding those too. It brought you a weird sense of pride to know that he thought you were capable of hurting him. Even you weren't entirely sure you could handle...that.

Maybe you eventually would. Maybe you would have no choice. Each day that slipped by was a shock to the system, another reminder that you were trapped and had, so far, no hope of escape. Desperate people did desperate things. You'd watched your fair share of kidnapping documentaries. 

In an act of defiance, you grabbed one of the knives from the draw and slammed it shut so hard that you made yourself flinch. A timid laugh slipped from your mouth and you looked around. Nothing happened. Slipping the knife into your back pocket, you tore the draw open again but didn't shut it. You went to the next one and did the same thing. Then the next, and the next. 

You saved the cupboards until last. When you got to the last one, filled with mugs and glasses, you tentatively reached in and grabbed one. It was the same one Steve had been using last night, sipping coffee as he'd stroked your arm. It bounced once as it hit the floor, then shattered entirely. Again, that little giggle escaped. The feeling was addictive. The rebellion. You didn't stop until every glass and mug was gone, shattered across the kitchen floor in a sea of destruction. 

You didn't escape unscathed. There was a bloody trail of footprints left behind you as you moved back into the living room. Serves that fucker right; he should've left you shoes. 

The sofa was next. It wasn't as satisfying as the glasses had been. All you could do was throw the cushions around the room and essentially take it to bits. It didn't feel good to hit them, either. It felt like a child trying to beat up a grown up. No real damage done. By the time you'd delivered bits of the sofa around the room, your chest was heaving and you felt angrier than before. But it was _fine_. It was _good_. You'd felt nothing but uncertainty and disgust for the past four days. Fury was a welcome change.

Then you considered what Steve's reaction would be. The pity in his eyes, the soft hands and warm body. You wanted to see him mad. No the lukewarm kind, the kind that he felt whenever you mouthed off. You'd even go as far as saying that he really liked it. No, you wanted him to _hurt_. To - to feel so much that he wouldn't know what to do. So he'd feel helpless. 

So maybe he'd feel an _inkling_ of what you felt.

Your footsteps echoed as you walked up the stairs. To the bedroom, to that fucking thing. That cradle. You stared at it and felt hatred leak out of your every pore. He'd admitted on the second day that the little pills you'd been having were prenatal vitamins. You'd immediately rushed off to the bathroom and been sick. Violently. Steve had held your hair from your face and rubbed your back. It hadn't helped.

Since then he hadn't given you any others. Not in their natural form, anyway. Sometimes you thought you tasted a hint of them in the food you ate. You had yet to prove it but you suspected. Not that there was anything you could do about it.

Steve hadn't touched you since you'd arrived. You slept almost fully dressed, wearing leggings and whatever shirt Steve decided to give you. You couldn't even bring yourself to bare your shoulders around him. Still, it wasn't enough. He _looked_. So much that sometimes it felt like a physical touch. 

The knife felt heavy in your back pocket. You slid it out and looked at it curiously. It wasn't exactly sharp. Your eyes flickered back to the cradle and you had to fight off the gag. It was better than nothing.

The sound of it scraping over the sides of the cradle was hellish but bought a smile to your face. Your cheeks ached when you did. You'd spent the last few days with a permanent frown. At this point your eyes felt as if they would be swollen forever, even though you never cried in front of Steve. You let yourself get lost in the motions, scratching paint and careful designs away from the cradle until your fingers _ached_. 

It was what he fucking deserved.

You remained lost in the destruction until the sound of the locks came. Loud, louder than usual. Regret came quick but you forced it away, scrambling to the bed to hide the knife underneath the mattress. It was cliché but it would have to do until you had time to hide it properly.

Leaving the bedroom did not feel safe, but you made yourself take one step after another until you were standing on the landing, peering down. That golden halo of hair caught your attention and you watched as Steve reorganised the sofa, taking his time, plumping up cushions and smoothing them down. Your brow wrinkled. This isn't what you wanted. You wanted rage.

Steve looked up and blinked. "Sweetheart, are you hurt? There's blood-"

"What are you doing?" you cut him off. Blood leaked sluggishly from the cuts on your feet. Pain was finally settling it.

Steve gestured around. "I'm cleaning up. I'm sorry I left you for so long."

"Sorry you left me," you repeated in disbelief. You'd done all of this, destroyed every single glass, ran through the kitchen, and he was sorry?

"I am," Steve said solemnly. He reached down and held up a green bag. First Aid. "Now, come down here so I can sort you out. Where are you hurt?"

"You're not - mad?" you registered how feeble the words sounded but you couldn't stop them from spilling from your lips. Exhaustion weighed you down. The past four days suddenly caught up and you swayed on your feet. Steve was unpredictable. You swore at him and he looked one second away from taking you over his lap, but when you actually broke his things he was fine? 

"No, baby," he said, and it killed you to see the sympathy in his eyes, "but if you wanted attention then you should've just said."

"If I wanted attention." you repeated him again, the words sounding blunt and not right in your mouth. Had you? Wanted attention? You cleared the thought from your head as soon as it came.

"I saw what you did to the crib," Steve continued, "and I'm not happy that you hid that knife. Baby, that was dangerous. But...I do understand. Having a baby right now wouldn't be a wise decision. I just need to focus on you. That's what you need."

Relief set in and you swayed. Not for long though, because Steve was coming upstairs and sitting you back down on the bed. He absently eyed the crib and for a moment you thought you saw something. A flicker of rage, of sadness, of _something_. But then it was gone, and Steve was smiling up at you like some kind of angel. 

You barely felt it as he poured the disinfectant over your feet. The cuts weren't as bad once they'd been cleaned, but Steve cooed softly and fussed over you nonetheless. You stared dumbly as he wrapped them, smoothing gentle fingers over your inner foot. You didn't jerk away until he lifted it and kissed you on the spot he'd stroked.

He had the nerve to laugh. "So sensitive," the laugh trailed off and his eyes darkened. "How could I forget?"

"Where did you go?"

"Why, you miss me?" Steve grinned. He ignored the stormy look you shot back. "Just to visit some friends."

"Do...do they know about me?"

"Of course they do, they're my closest friends," he leaned down and kissed your knee, ignoring the inelegant squawk of protest you gave. "They know how I feel for you, baby. They understand."

You felt pity, then, for any women who ever came across those men. Any vulnerable young person. You shouldn't have pushed your own limits, should've stayed inside that little box apartment with the mouldy walls and dodgy electrics. It would've been better than this. Anything would've been better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _thirsty_ for feedback. Please keep me hydrated!!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the walls close in around you, so does Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a Tumblr! Please go follow and talk to me, my user is **kleohoneyao3**. Since the beginning of this fic and others I've noticed really cool people in the comments and I wanna be friends so bad. I will also be taking requests as soon as I've set up some rules and helpful guidelines. I am so excited!

The cradle was gone now. It was a relief but also served as a reminder of the reaction you'd failed to provoke from Steve two days ago. Just when you thought that you understood him, that you could manipulate him, he pulled a one-eighty and went all lovey-dovey. 

That was how it had been for the past forty eight hours. He fed you himself for each meal and counted all the cutlery after. He sat outside the bathroom door when you showered, reminding you to keep it cracked open. He held you in his arms at night and pulled you close. Even when you felt the solid line of his arousal he never acted on it.

You'd taken up permanent residence on the sofa. A little dent in the shape of your body had formed in your favourite spot. You liked to stare out of the window and at least pretend you were making up some kind of escape plan. The illusion of productivity was better than nothing. You wrapped yourself up in a grey teddy blanket, pulling it tight around your body. It acted as a second skin and a deterrent to Steve. A reminder that you didn't want his hands on you.

The TV presenter nattered on in the background. You'd stopped listening out for your name a few days ago. Clearly Steve had been prepared. No one knew you were missing, or even who you were with. Still, you pretended to be curious. If Steve found out you were giving up...well, it would be like a shark smelling blood in the water. 

It was the worst kind of weakness. It was one you could feel getting worse every day. Every morning that you opened your eyes to see adoring blue ones staring down at you. Like a hole that just kept getting bigger and bigger. When you thought of home nothing came to mind. 

Steve settled down beside you. The weight of his stare felt like a physical touch. He spread his legs wide until his knee brushed yours. A second passed before you snatched your leg away. _Too long._

It didn't take long for his hand to replace his knee. His thumb stroked intricate patterns into your thigh. The heat of him scorched you through the blanket. When you went to pull away he only gripped you tighter, squeezing your thigh in warning. It was a struggle not to let your emotions play out on your face.

"So, doll," he started, "being cooped up in the house isn't really good for you. How would you feel about a walk later on?"

You imagined your ears perking up like a dog's would. "A walk? Is that - can we?"

"Of course," Steve continued to stroke your leg, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've got a pair of shoes around here for you somewhere."

"When can we go?"

"Right now, if that's what you want."

"I do," you stood up and let the blanket fall to the floor. Steve's eyes followed it's bath down your body. 

You stood there for a second before turning to leave. Was it really that simple? Did he honestly trust you that much? It felt like a dream, as if any moment you were going to wake up with a cramped neck from napping on the sofa again. 

"Do you promise to be on your best behaviour, doll?" Steve's voice floated up after you.

You paused. There was something heavy in those words. You swallowed. "I-um, yes. I will."

"Yes what?"

The words rolled around in your mouth so violently that you nearly choked on them. "Yes, Daddy."

You didn't stick around for the response. Your feet padded on the stairs as you shot up them, heading for the bedroom for a change of clothes. It was cold outside; you'd probably need a pair of sweatpants instead of leggings. Anticipation skittered up your spine at the thought of going outside. The air in here felt almost stale after a week.

When you went back down, there was a pair of socks and boots waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. They weren't any you'd seen before but you slipped them on regardless, loving the weight of them on your feet. You stomped up and down a couple times. The temptation was to start running in them. It was difficult to restrain yourself.

Steve was waiting by the door. He held out his hand when you reached him. You stumbled for a moment, but the look in his eyes said _'I've given you this and I could just as easily take it away'_. You took the outstretched hand and watched as he angled his body to cover the key pads. You didn't bother trying to watch. There were several locks and it would be impossible to get and then retain all that information. Besides, he was taking you outside already. If the opportunity came, you would take it.

The bite of the wind almost took the breath from you. You missed a step and crashed into Steve. He steadied you easily and laughed at the look on your face. "Cold, right? When we get back you can choose a scarf and hat. Don't want you to get ill, baby."

That was an understatement. The only part of you that felt warm was the hand that he was holding. Steve shut the door and quickly tugged you off to the left. He was going so fast that you barely had the chance to take anything in. You wondered if it was on purpose. 

The fields went on for miles. Clusters of trees dotted the land and you thought you could spy a forest in the distance, but that was it. Apart from the dirt track leading up to the house, there was no obvious way out. The dirt track would never be an option. It looked more than two miles long and was perfectly straight. Steve would spot you easily. 

Taking in a breath, you forced yourself to relax. Steve was watching you carefully from the corner of his eye but was pretending he wasn't. The tension bled from your shoulders as you greedily sucked in gulps of fresh air. You could appreciate that, at least.

"I don't want to be out for long today," Steve said, "you probably feel overwhelmed right now. We can take this slow, come out once a day for a little longer each time. If you behave yourself, you get nice things."

You hated to admit it, but Steve was right. It did feel slightly overwhelming. The rest of it was bullshit, though. If you behaved yourself? Like a fucking dog? The thought put a funny bitter taste in your mouth. 

Flocks of birds flew overhead and you found yourself enraptured. They could go where that wanted, when they wanted to. Unlike you. 

Dirt crunched under your boots as you avoided puddles of mud. Steve guided you over each one, even when you protested. He even laughed at the sour look on your face. It felt like how it used to, before the holiday. A bolt of yearning had your stomach churning.

The pace was slow but your feet burned with each step. The cut on the bottom of your foot throbbed in protest. You were so used to the fast pace of New York that a week out of action had really done a number on you. Even if you ran off, realistically, how far could you get? Your feet told you not very. Another problem; Steve Rogers was clearly athletic. Most likely faster than you. Stronger than you. On top of all that, he probably knew the area better than you did. 

Things were not looking too good.

When you tripped for the second time in thirty seconds, Steve heaved a sigh and glanced over his shoulder. "I think it's time we head back, baby. Are your feet hurting?"

You opened your mouth to tell him no, but instead said, "Yes, they're killing me. I want to go back."

Steve beamed. "And my good girl gets what she wants. Come on, baby."

The urge to protest rose up but you shoved it down. There was zero point in arguing. By the time you were half way back you were stubbornly limping, refusing any help Steve offered. He looked seconds away from just scooping you into his arms. The only thing that stopped him was the flames in your eyes every time he so much as lifted his other arm.

The house (prison) was back in sight. You searched yourself, trying to discern what it was you were feeling. Sadness, contempt, disappointment? You came up blank. The way this house, this _man_ made you feel was too strong to even be put into words.

There wasn't a problem until you got to the steps. Your feet felt unbearably heavy, your chest hot. Steve gripped your hand like a lifeline, his eyes boring into your skull. "Doll, c'mon. It's cold out here and we need to take a look at your feet." there was an underlying tremble to his voice. You shut it out.

You looked over your shoulder, down the dirt road. It seemed endless from where you were standing. The same way everything had felt for the past week. Steve tugged impatiently on your hand. The smell of desperation was thick in the air. 

You weren't sure how long you stood there for. Long enough for your feet to feel slightly numb, and the tip of your nose to feel like ice. Turning back toward Steve felt like trying to force back the tide. But you did.

Steve ushered you in doors, slamming the door shut and pressing various buttons. You didn't miss the breath of relief he'd released. The locks buzzed and slid into place, the light on the keypads going out as Steve turned away. 

He gestured for you to sit down and you did so without argument. Going for a walk tomorrow would be a challenge, but you weren't willing to give up on that. He eased your boots from your feet and winced at the dark red that was leaking through one of your socks. The cut had opened back up.

"Baby," Steve winced, "you should have said. This doesn't look good."

"It's fine," you said. It wasn't. Now you were sitting down it was throbbing in time to your heart. Both feet were flushed red and sore to the touch. 

Steve disappeared for a moment before coming back with a First Aid kit, a bowl of warm water and a cloth. Your foot jolted in his hands as he wiped the crusted blood from it. The water turned dirty brown and you stared at it intently, trying not to let the pain show. You were determined to get out of the house again tomorrow. Even if it was just for a short while.

Steve hummed as he dabbed the disinfectant onto the bottom of your foot. "I told you to put a bandage on it this morning. I should've checked before we went out."

You repeated, "It's fine." you'd been so determined to ignore Steve's wishes and undermine him whenever you could that you had forgone the bandage this morning. Regret was not a strong enough word for what you were currently feeling. 

When Steve was done, he pulled a fresh pair of socks on your feet. You watched as he did so, and when he looked up your eyes automatically met his. Clear blue. No sign of the same insanity which coloured his words and actions. It was eerie.

His hand found the back of your neck and it was all too easy for him to pull you in. Your lips met clumsily, still numb from the chill outside. His tongue licked into your mouth and you sighed, the warmth welcome even though Steve was not. The kiss was messy and hard and it took several attempts for you to pull away.

Steve stroked a finger down your cheek, pupils blown and trained intently on your mouth. "My good girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr ~ kleohoneyao3
> 
> I am taking requests!


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in the house, a phone rings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters left! Probably about two or three so hold on!
> 
> **If you want to ask any questions about my fics on Tumblr, my user is kleohoneyao3! This includes headcanons for fics like Sweet, Sweet Isolation since I think I few people would be interested in that :)**

A week later and Steve has left the house again. You tried to ask him where he was going but he'd only ignored you, instead asking if there was anything you'd like him to get. You'd answered 'freedom' and he'd laughed. 

"You're funny, doll," he'd said, "now, be a good girl while I'm gone. Kiss?"

A gentle kiss had been pressed into your temple and you'd accepted it numbly. A cool breeze drifted in through the door when Steve cracked it open and stepped out. This time you didn't try to follow. 

Drifting to the window, you watched as Steve got into a car that definitely hadn't been there this morning and pulled off. You couldn't see through the tinted windows but Steve was not alone. Did they know the reality of your situation, like those men before? Did they even care?

Pressing a hand to the window, you imagined yourself falling through. Like Alice through the looking glass. Only this wasn't a looking glass, and you had no desire to fall into some foreign, backwards world. All you wanted was to go home. These days even that seemed too much to ask. 

You caught sight of your reflection in the glass and your lips pulled down. You didn't look like someone who had been kidnapped. You looked healthy, apart from the dark circles beneath your eyes and the darker bruises on your neck. The only sign that Steve was not as in control as he liked to pretend.

He'd kept his hands firmly above the waist and his lips went no further than your collarbones. It was irritating. No matter what you did, what you said, that polished facade never cracked. 

He was up to something, that much you knew. He was biding his time, waiting for something, and then he would strike. The tension in the air seemed to grow a little more each day, making it harder to breathe and harder to think. It horrified you, the feeling of cracks forming in your own protective bubble. You'd promised yourself that you'd hold out but sometimes, especially at night, you found yourself reaching out in the darkness. Your finger tips would ghost across golden flesh and then you'd yank your hand away, burned. Humiliated. You never slept after that.

You were lonely. Steve had pulled you so close when you'd been together and now he was pushing you away. Maybe you could have handled it if you had some other option. Out here your only option for comfort was Steve. It made no sense. How could you want to seek comfort from the very man who was causing you such distress? It was twisted and you knew it. 

When your own mind became too much to bear you staggered to the sofa and sank into the cushions. The television flickered on and you settled down, prepared for a few hours of mindless watching. There was a welcome silence that settled in your mind.

In fact, you were so relaxed, that it took a few seconds for you to notice it. 

Somewhere in that godforsaken house, a phone was ringing. 

Your phone. 

You scrambled for the remote, dialling the TV all the way down and standing so fast that you swayed on your feet. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you pressed your hand over your breast, trying to quieten it. Your brain recognised this for what it was; an opportunity. 

You followed the sound to the kitchen, but it got quieter. The living room was the same. It felt like minutes were flying by but it could have only been a few seconds. Phones didn't ring for that long. The thought fuelled you and you dashed madly around the house until the ringing brought you to the bathroom.

The minute you stepped inside, the ringing stopped.

Your shoulders sagged. Shakily, you walked to the toilet and sat down, breathing heavily. You tried not to let disappointment crush you. The bathroom - it was definitely in here. That was a start. Looking around, you could see nothing out of place. There was the mirror on the wall, the cabinate and the bath. It look the same as it had every other day you'd been in here. 

Then the ringing started again.

"Oh," you cried out, dropping to your knees, "thank fuck. Yes. _Yes_."

It was much easier to pinpoint this time. You were on your hands and knees, crawling around the room, hands pressed to the skurting boards. Right there, near the bath, your fingers caught on a barely-there jagged edge. You ran your hands over it again, wanting to be sure. 

You shoved your nails in the space and _pulled_. Pulled until your fingertips were aching and you'd snapped one finger nail straight in half. The phone was still ringing. Then, with a crack, the skirting board came away from the rest of the wall. Dust and debris came in a cloud, but in the darkness you could easily see the light of your home screen. 

Tears were streaming down your face as you hacked and coughed into your own hand. Dust was staining your hands but you slipped the phone out, ignoring the cobwebs and dirt, and flicked it open. Answered it.

"Hello?" Peggy's voice came through the receiver. She said your name sweetly, questioning. As if there was nothing wrong.

"Oh, thank God," you were crying openly, snot and tears mixing on your cheeks, "thank God. Peggy, I'm in t-trouble. I need help."

"Trouble?" Peggy sounded alarmed. You imagined her rushing around her apartment, throwing on her coat and shoes. Coming to rescue you. "What trouble?"

"It's Steve," you explained, wiping a dirt-streaked hand down your face. "He took me. He fucking took me, Peggy. He's insane-"

"Steve? Surely that's not right, darling."

Pause. "What?"

"Darling, I think there's been a misunderstanding," Peggy's voice floated down the phone, distant and calm. "Steve only wants to take care of you. He _loves you_. Didn't you know that?"

"Loves me?" you echoed. "Peggy, what do you mean? Steve kidnapped me, two weeks ago when--"

"To protect you," she said, "don't you see, silly girl? You've taken advice from me before, so listen now. Steve does everything he does for a _reason_. To protect you, to keep you safe, to keep you close. Isn't that what you've always wanted? To be loved?"

The bathroom was spinning around you. You registered the cool tiles beneath your head, pressing into your arm. "Not like this, Peggy. Not like this."

"Well, we can't always have what we want in the way we want it," Peggy said. It was frighteningly cold. "You'll learn, though, darling. You're a clever girl. Now, I have to go. But remember everything I've said!"

_Click._

This time, the silence was not welcome. You took one last look at the phone and your lips parted. The single service bar that had connected you to Peggy flickered out. 

It took a part of you with it.

_____________________

**Steve**

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair, propping his legs onto his desk. Another half an hour and he'd be able to head back home, comfort his girl like she would need. It had been ages since he'd felt her in his arms, even longer since he'd felt her willingly. What Steve had just done would ensure that, from now on, she would always be willing.

Steve had only met Peggy Carter a handful of times, so it had been hard to find a woman with the same voice. Low, steady, British accent. But for the right price, nothing was impossible. Not even stealing Peggy's phone.

Paulie handed the phone to Steve. "How was that, sir?"

"Pretty good," Steve admitted, "here."

He tossed a few hundreds across the table and watched as the woman scrambled to pick it up. A memory tickled the back of his mind and he chuckled. All women were the same. Apart from you, that was. 

"So," Paulie said, looking suddenly nervous. "That woman sounded pretty scared, huh? Some prank. Who was she?"

Steve felt his gaze harden. He didn't want Paulie to know you. She didn't deserve to have the pleasure. He'd finally gotten you to himself, and it would be a long time before he felt willing to share. "Why are you asking, Paulie? Didn't I pay you not to?"

"Right, right," she chuckled nervously, "I'm just a curious person, is all. Right. It was good to meet you...?"

"Sir," Steve supplied. He'd been careful in keeping his identity from the woman, just in case anything ever got out. But then on the phone you’d said his name. Not that she'd be able to prove anything. He'd had some random on the street pickpocket Peggy and Paulie didn't have the foggiest who Peggy was. He was safe.

It had been disturbingly easy for Jack to slip Peggy's phone from her pocket. The woman had been living in New York for the entierity of her adult life and wasn't vigilant enough to spot a pickpocket? Steve had been furious, both at Peggy and himself. He'd been foolish to allow such an incompetent woman to take care of his girl for so long. Peggy had been stupid to think that she could provide for you in the way that Steve could.

The bottom line was, you needed to be cared for. And Steve would be the one to do it.

He despised thinking of the life you'd had before him. Not just because of the things he missed. You'd lived in that rotting apartment for months, too stubborn to even come to your best friend for help. You'd worn clothes with holes in, shoes with soles so worn down that you might as well have been barefoot. You'd worked two jobs, leaving no time for sleeping. Your diet...Jesus Christ. Leaving you alone had simply not been the right thing to do. And Steve was a man who liked to do the right thing.

Paulie seemed to grow uncomfortable in the silence, eyes darting every which way. She wasn't stupid. She probably knew that there was something deeper going on. Not that she'd do anything or even tell anyone. 

Those were the types of people Steve wanted to protect you from. The types who would turn their backs on a girl in need. The types who could bear to listen to you crying so helplessly, so desperately, and still do nothing. Steve _hated_ those people but was simultaneously grateful for them. If it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t have been lead to you.

Even though you'd been saying such hateful things about him, Steve would still go home to you. Would still hold you, let you cry into his shoulder until his blue shirt turned black. He'd let you cry yourself sick, and then, when you needed him most, he'd swoop in. Again. You'd finally see him, finally appreciate everything he'd done and everything he was trying to do. 

He would take you to bed you shared together, lay you out on the pillows. Peel your clothes from your trembling body and enjoy every second of it because he'd missed it so much. He rubbed his fingers together, imagining that he was softly caressing your nipples instead. He'd take them into his mouth, suck them almost to the point of pain, and then soothe the hurt with his tongue. His fingers would delve lower, part your slick pussy lips, and he would make sure to take everything in. Ingrain it into his mind. And you would let him do it all. He knew it.

He'd picked you for a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like fuel for me, so if you can please tell me what you think! It honestly means the world :) I hope everyone is happy, safe and healthy.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you want is comfort. It doesn't particularly matter who from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay so we're almost there! Thank you for everything 🥰 if you have any questions about this fic (or maybe want some head canons) then hit up my Tumblr: kleohoneyao3
> 
>  **Warnings** : 18+, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome themes, kissing, Daddy kink, dom-sub undertones, fingering

Anticipation made your belly flip as you idly waited for Steve. The uncomfortable chair dug into your back and ass but it grounded you, kept your head from fogging up too much. Thoughts were clogging up your mind but you didn't allow yourself to focus on them for too long. You kept your mind carefully blank. It was less painful that way.

After the phone call, you'd carefully put the phone back where you'd found it. It had stayed there for all of five minutes before you'd taken it back out again, desperately hoping for a signal. There hadn't been. Whatever signal had connected you to Peggy had been a miracle, one that clearly wasn't happening again.

With a calmness you hadn't thought you'd possess, you'd carefully arranged the board back to how it had been, sweeping debris back into the hole and getting rid of cobwebs. The phone had stayed by your side. Even though it was useless you couldn't bear to part with it.

Everything had been wiped. No photos, no messages, no apps. The call log only had one number on there - Peggy's. Cradling it cautiously in your hands, you'd bought it downstairs with you and left it face down on the table. When Steve arrived, you'd ask him to get rid of it.

The sun was going down, casting shadows into the living room. They crept up the walls and caressed your face but you couldn't bring yourself to turn a light on. It felt as if you were frozen to the chair. Moving was too difficult, so you didn't. 

It didn't make sense. Peggy had always been a headstrong, independent woman and had encouraged you to be the same. You'd taken it a little too far and gone slightly down the stubborn route, perhaps more than you'd originally thought. Still. It was hard to picture Peggy actually staying those words, telling you that Steve would take care of you and to just accept it. She'd made you feel...selfish. Like you were in the wrong. 

A tiny voice in the back of your mind agreed with Peggy. If Steve was evil, if his intentions were ill, then how come he'd never laid a hand on you? Even on those nights when the hunger in his eyes made you cringe away, he'd never made a move. Not since you'd first arrived and he'd touched you in the car. 

You'd tried to make him mad. Destroyed the crib, torn up the bedding, smashed all the plates. Tried to goad him into giving a reaction that would make the way you felt make sense. Steve had tidied up after you, smiled, and said that he hoped you'd feel better tomorrow. It made no fucking sense. Even now, the only sign of the situation was the dark bags under your eyes. You hadn't lost weight, had no injuries other than your foot (which you'd caused yourself)...there wasn't a single hair out of place. 

And now, the harder you thought about it, the more pointless fighting seemed. It was exhausting and was clearly not getting you anywhere. If you gave in, if you let him take care of you, then maybe you'd stop feeling like _this_.

Your hands clenched at your sleeves. Not your sleeves, Steve's. His clothes had been a staple in your wardrobe since you'd got here. Even when he was gone it was like he wasn't. His scent, his clothes, his warmth surrounded you constantly. Suffocating but almost essential.

Without thinking, you seized the phone from the counter and whipped it across the room. It skittered across the floor and hit the wall with a bang. Even from across the room you could see the cracks stretch across the scream. A scream bubbled in your throat as you grabbed it again, launching it at the floor until there was an audible _crack_ and the light died out. A hysterical laugh escaped you as you watched the screen glitch and then finally die. Gone. 

There was no going back now. There hadn't even for a long time, but the reality was finally settling in. 

That was how Steve found you. Crouched on the kitchen floor, surrounded by the scattered remains from your phone. Despite your inner turmoil, your eyes were dry. 

Then they settled on Steve, and you gasped as they began to water. You shakily got to your feet and pointed at the phone. "Get that fucking thing away from me."

Stern blue eyes swept over you. Assessing for damage. Then, "Who did you call?"

You laughed. "No one that mattered."

Steve watched as you went to the sofa and curled yourself into your usual spot. He waited until your head had vanished and then went to the cupboard for a broom. Your heart was thundering as you listed to him sweeping and then discarding your phone into the bin. There would be consequences. You'd told him you hadn't called anyone who would jeopardise your situation but he had no reason to believe that. 

You craned your head up when he appeared, staring down at you from behind the sofa. He looked frustrated. It was in his tone when he spoke, "Tell me, doll. I need to know if we're not safe. Who did you call?"

Shrinking back into the sofa, you began to stammer out, "I-I did't call. Someone - Peggy rang and I answered."

"Oh, doll, what have you done?" he said. His voice was deceptively calm, but you waited for him to do something. To shout, to reach out and shake some sense into you. Something. 

His silence prompted you to continue. "She said that I. . .that you want to take care of me. You want to protect me."

Steve nodded, lips set in a firm line. "I do, doll. That's all I've wanted from the very beginning. Have you only just realised?"

You bit out a sob, scrubbing a shaky hand over your eyes. When you pulled it away it was damp. Your voice was trembling. "She made me feel - _ungrateful_. Like I'm stupid."

It wasn't just misery that was running through your veins. It was shame. Embarrassment that you'd been scolded by Peggy. It was mortifying to realise that someone who you thought who be on your side was actually on the opposite. This entire time you'd thought you were in the right, but now. . .

Steve settled down on the sofa beside you. You didn't stop him from pulling you onto his lap. He cooed softly, "Oh, baby. I know it's not easy. You've done things on your own for so long but now you don't have to. You have _me_."

Those words no longer invoked the same horror as they had before. You couldn't afford to pull away and spit harsh words in retaliation. Not when you were crumpling and the only thing holding you up was Steve. Flashes of memory from the past few weeks had you crying harder. It had been like that for longer than you'd known. 

"It's okay to give in," he assured you, "it's what I want. You _need_ to, doll. You can't do this alone."

The words made you shudder, but not out of horror. Really, what were you trying to prove? The only ones who knew you were here were Peggy and Steve - and only one of them actually cared. Steve wasn't going anywhere, had proved as much. By holding on, the only one who you were actually harming was yourself. No human was meant to go through something like this alone, and you didn't actually have to. 

"It's too hard," you mumbled, voice muffled by the shirt Steve was wearing. 

Steve tugged your shirt until you unlatched from him. The urge for human contact had been mysteriously absent in the past few weeks but now it was back at full force and it was almost impossible to let go. You looked at him, truly looked, and wondered how you could have ever thought this man was evil. Soft blue eyes, softer pink lips. The open adoration in his gaze had you shrinking back, squirming under the heavy gaze. 

"Can I kiss you?" he finally asked. 

The question rang in the otherwise silent room. Out in the open, unavoidable. 

Flashes from before occupied your mind. Large hands stroking soft thighs, opening you up with gentle fingers. Pink lips wrapped around aching nipples. Skin on skin. Your core ached and you subconsciously shifted in Steve's lap. The thick line of his arousal had your lips parting. You glanced back up at him but he was only watching you. Wouldn't do anything unless you asked. 

Maybe you had more control than you'd thought. 

"Yes," you breathed. 

You'd expected heat, harsh lips searching against yours. Something to take your mind off of other things. Instead it was the barest ghosting of skin of skin, his nose nudging yours as he stroked your lips with his own. Quivering in his hold, you held still. Trusted that he would give you what you needed.

Steve caressed a gentle path from your lips to your jawline and then your neck. Your stomach was trembling, core heating up even though this was probably the gentlest he'd ever been with you. He fastened his lips over your pulse point, _sucked_ , and you jolted in his arms.

"Steve," you shuddered, "please."

"Do I have your permission?" he lowly asked, parting from you just enough to look you in the eyes. "You're gonna let me touch you?"

You tilted your neck and sighed, "Yes, Daddy."

Steve descended on the exposed skin, whispering praises into your neck. It felt good to be reassured after how shaken Peggy had left you. Even if this would only be temporary, you needed something to stop you from folding in on yourself. Steve would be that something. 

He reached your breasts and you made a strangled noise in the back of your throat. Steve cursed and stood up, taking you with him. He adjusted your position and then lay you back on the couch, but not before tugging your shirt up off over your head. It left your hair mussed and your eyes classy. You looked debauched and it was making Steve's brain short circuit. 

Yes, he'd planned for this, but he hadn't thought he'd get this far. He'd been hopeful but. . .now you were actually stretched out beneath him and he could hardly think. He swiped a shaking hand over his mouth before moving to unclasp your bra.

You arched your back to allow Steve's hands to slide behind and undo the clasps. You stayed that way even after he'd pulled the scrap of fabric away from your body, offering yourself up. The threat of regret was looming in the back of your mind but you pushed it aside. You'd had enough negativity to last a life time. Now, all you wanted was to feel good.

A strangled cry left your throat as Steve's head dropped and he sucked a nipple into the wet heat of his mouth. Instantly you tensed, unused to the touch but grateful for it all the same. His hand came up to squeeze your other breast and roll the tip between his fingers. He sucked in short pulses that you pussy mimicked, squeezing around nothing. It was too much and not enough all at once and it was making you feel crazy.

He parted from your breast with a wet _'pop'_. He rasped, "Missed this. Missed my baby coming apart on my fingers. Is that what you want?"

"Yes," you keened, belly shuddering under his hand as he trailed it down, dipping into the front of your panties. "Please, I - I want you to make me feel good."

"Only had to ask," he purred, "you only ever had to ask, baby."

Steve sank to his knees beside the sofa, hooking his fingers around the band of your plain black cotton panties and tugging them down your legs. The rasp of the cloth against your legs was arousing in itself and you mewled when he finally unhooked them from around your ankles. 

With a hand on each knee, Steve spread you open to his gaze. "Prettiest pussy I ever saw. So wet, baby," he cooed, swiping a finger through the wetness pooling around your entrance. "Desperate, just how I want you."

You made a move to reach for the front of his trousers but he pulled away, tutting. "Not today, baby. You wanted me to make you feel good. Let me."

For a moment you felt awkward, hands fluttering limply bY your side. Then Steve was leaning down, licking a long stripe up your pussy and they were busy clenching at the cushions. He lapped at your hole, opening you up with intent, and then his tongue was sliding up to nudge at your clit. The fact that he was fully clothed but you were naked only added to the heady atmosphere. You let one hand slide down, delve into golden locks. Steve groaned and the vibrations sent pleasant shocks up your spine. 

The position was slightly awkward but it was more than you'd hoped for. Steve's tongue was a work of art, delving between your pussy lips before flicking over your clit, dividing attention between the two with little effort. 

"Taste so good, baby," he groaned, "you gonna let me do this every day? Make you cum on Daddy's tongue?"

 _Oh God, oh God,_ you thought. Fire was pooling low in your abdomen, urged on by each torturous lap Steve gave to your pussy. The sofa below your ass was damp from your arousal leaking down and you could hear the wet squelch every time Steve pressed particularly hard at your hole. You managed to hook one leg over his shoulder, pressing your pussy harder into his face. He only slid both hands under your ass, lifting your slightly higher for a better angle. Nothing had ever felt so good. 

Your orgasm rocketed through you, sending you into a shuddering heap as your pussy was torn between _'no more'_ and _'need it'_. Steve obliged, stroking gently with his tongue until you had to reach down to push his head away. 

Steve's cheeks were flushed. He looked charmingly boyish and it further ebbed away any regret you felt. He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, made you taste yourself. Reminded you of what you'd just done together. And it had been together, because you'd asked. 

Before the thoughts could further consume you, you lifted your arms and held out your hands. "Take me to bed, Steve." 

Steve grinned. Your wetness still gleamed on his lips. He rubbed a hand over your abdomen before pulling you into his arms. "Of course, baby. Anything you want." 

The ending went unspoken, but you heard it clearly. 

_All you have to do is ask._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment to let me know what you think!
> 
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	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's progress, but for who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a cheeky mid-week update. This is for anyone who is having a shitty week. I'm thinking of you and wishing you well!! Enjoy!

You asked him to take you to bed. He did. 

Contained within the secure band of his arms, you let your mind drift. Let your guard down. The dull throb of your sex had only made you hungrier for more and you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from shifting in his arms. Anything to relieve the pressure.

“Shh, doll,” he hushed you. “You gonna let me take care of you? My best girl?”

“Yes,” you answered truthfully.

It felt like a betrayal on your part. A betrayal to yourself. But the fighting was exhausting, and you were sick of trying to prove to yourself that you were stronger that this. Stronger than Steve. It was beginning to be clear that you weren’t. Maybe it had been clear for a long time and you’d only just noticed it.

There was no way out of it. Steve had made sure of it and up until now you’d only been fooling yourself. So what if you did somehow get away? How long would you have until Steve found you? He was a powerful man with a lot of influence. 

The only time you felt relief was when he was touching you. If that was the only way you could be happy in this situation then. . .

You shifted again in his arms. “Steve, please.”

“Okay, doll,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You shouldn’t have waited so long to let Daddy take care of you. Now look at you - all desperate and whiny.”

The words made you flinch. Sex with Steve had always been good but you were only just realising how much you’d missed it. A part of you was questioning, wondering if it would be worth your dignity. Every nerve in your body was telling you that it would be. 

Steve laid you out on the bed, pulling back to admire you. He’d missed you like this; spread out on his bed with that needy look on your face. He absently palmed his cock through his trousers, feeling the beginnings of a damp spot. 

You were still on birth control but that would soon change. The cradle was safely stored in the loft, waiting to make a reappearance. He’d had to take it to get it restored after the number you’d done on it but it was worth every penny. 

First, he needed to get you used to having sex with him again. Get you addicted to his cock. The look in your eyes told him that he was already half way there but he wanted to go all the way. He always did with you. 

All blood drained from his head to his cock when you let your knees fall open. Your pussy was glistening and Steve could see it pulsing, clenching around nothing. He scrubbed a hand over his face and blinked. Maybe you were addicted to him, but he was definitely addicted to you. 

The next few minutes were a blur, a whirlwind of pleasure and the tiniest bit of pain to keep you grounded. You welcomed it. Kissed, licked and bit back. The wild, unrestrained look in Steve’s eyes only spurred you on. 

The head of his cock ghosted against you clit and you keened, grinding up into him. Steve had himself propped up with an arm either side of your head but they were shaking. It had been a while since you’d been so responsive and eager and Steve wanted to bury himself in your body so deep that you’d never get him out. 

Then, for a brief, panic-laced second, you seemed to come to. “Steve, wait.”

“No, no, no, baby,” he hushed, leaning down to kiss any protest from your lips. His heart was thundering in his chest. If you changed your mind. . .you couldn’t. He wouldn’t let you. Not when he had you so close. “You don’t have to be scared. You know I’ll make you feel good.”

Steve pushed forward, seating himself in with one sure thrust. You’d been expecting pain but there was none, only a sense of fullness that you recognised and missed. Only Steve had ever filled you like this. 

Your pussy fluttered wildly around him and he clenched his teeth. This was about you. Fucking you into the mattress could wait a few moments longer. He’d lasted these weeks, he could do a little longer. 

“Oh, God,” he groaned, leaning down to press his face into your neck. “I’ve missed this pussy, baby. Never gonna keep this from me again.”

The heady atmosphere was enhanced by Steve’s filthy mouth. Trembling, you squeezed your hands around his biceps, tilting your hips. Anything for him to move.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” you cooed, looking up at him through hooded eyes. “Been waiting for this.”

“Only if you promise me something,” he murmured, rocking his hips gently into yours. The slight movement made your eyes flutter shut but it still wasn’t enough. 

“Anything,” you whispered. Already you felt pinpricks of regret but the throbbing in your core wasn’t letting up and it was making you feel crazed. He’d never denied you like this before and you wanted to make sure he’d never do it again.

“One day,” he purred, “a week from now, maybe a month, maybe a year, you’re gonna let me fuck a baby into you.”

All the breath in your lungs disappeared. A baby with Steve? Before the thought had made you feel sick but now, when he was buried so deeply inside you, it only made your pussy throb. The imagery of his cum seeping from your pussy was enough to have you teetering on the edge without even being touched. Disgust was overshadowed by desire. It was too easy to give in.

“Yes, Daddy,” you sobbed, desperate fro friction. “I want it.”

Steve pulled back and began fucking you in earnest, lifting your legs to fit round his hips and deepen the angle. It danced on the edge of pain but it made it feel better, more real. You’d been floating through the past few weeks in a daze and now you felt awake. 

So you settled back into the feeling and tried to ignore home much it felt like euphoria.

🖤

The shakiness in your legs didn’t fade for two days. Steve didn’t fuck you again but insisted on finger-fucking you into oblivion before you went to bed. Showering was no longer a private event and Steve scarcely let you do anything for yourself. He washed your hair, scrubbed your body, even filed your nails. You’d given him an inch and he’d taken a mile, only now you had no idea how to go back. Weren’t sure if you even wanted to. 

“How about a walk, honey?” 

You looked up, peering at Steve over the top of the sofa. “A walk?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, gesturing to the coat hanging on the door. “I hate to keep you cooped up inside.”

Sure he did. The obvious lie didn’t cause the same anger as it once had. Heaving a deep sigh, you got to your feet and walked over to him. He held your coat out and helped you shrug it on, fingers lingering a little too long on the buttons. 

Then he disappeared upstairs. Probably to get your shoes. You still had no idea where he’d hidden them. Steve had told you he trusted you but it was moments like this that made you think the opposite. And if he didn’t trust you then you were _never_ getting out of here.

You pictured yourself alone, maybe in your own apartment. Cooking your own food, taking showers alone. The yearning for it was no longer there. Instead you yearned for -

"Here, baby, let me help you put these on," Steve said.

He came down the stairs with yours and his shoes in hand, gesturing for you to take a seat. You did so without arguing. Settling himself at your feet, Steve slid the boots on and tied up the laces before he did his own. 

When Steve unlocked the door, you didn’t even bother to look. The passcode was the furthest thing from your mind. All you could think about was how warm Steve’s hand was in yours. 

The cold air nipped at your cheeks and within a matter of minutes they were burned by the wind. You reached a hand up to half heartedly rub at the flesh. Maybe you’d ask Steve for a scarf next time. 

You kept your eyes trained on the ground, every now and then glancing between Steve's feet and yours. His were so much bigger. Steve was much bigger in general compared to you. The comparison made you think of him next to you in bed, or propped up over you. A blush rose on your cheeks and you stared harder at the ground. Steve sometimes seemed to know what you were thinking before even you did. 

Leaves crunched underfoot. The further you walked the more trees you came across, though they always stood alone. From the house you hadn’t been able to spot any trees; Steve must’ve bought you out a little further than usual. 

A sudden gust of wind blew debris in your face, temporarily blinding you. You used both of your hands to shield your face, rubbing viciously at the dirt in your eyes. It _stung_. 

“Steve! I - I need help,” you called, squatting down to further shield yourself. “Steve?”

The silence was eerie after spending so long with company. Blinking blearily, you glanced about. Horror dawned. You were alone.

Staggering to your feet, you looked around. Turned in frantic circles until your stomach protested. All you could think was ‘I should never have let go of his hand'. 

For the first time you noticed the rapidly darkening sky. Being stuck out here in the dark was the last thing you needed. Panic was swelling in your chest, taking up all the space and pushing aside any other emotion you might’ve felt. You couldn’t fucking think.

“I need to get back,” you said hoarsely. “It’s too cold.”

Mumbling nonsensically to yourself, you stumbled forward in the direction you believed you’d come from. Not that you could tell. It all looked the same to you. A bird fluttered overhead and you jumped, clutching at your throat. Being alone out here sounded terrifying.

You picked up the pace until you were practically jogging. The ground was uneven and every now and then you tripped. Each time you’d have to bite off a sob. After being with Steve for weeks the silence was daunting. You wanted - needed - something. Someone to talk to, hold hands with, touch. Being alone made you _afraid._

You were openly crying by the time the house wavered into sight. Your legs ached and your cheeks were icy to the touch but you couldn’t stop running. The lights of the house were the only ones around and you made a beeline directly for them, speeding up until the ground was a blur beneath you. 

“Steve!” You were shouting. “Steve, please!”

You’d almost made it to the steps when the door flew open and you skidded to a stop. Your heart was racing, breath painting white clouds on the air. Tears blurred your vision but Steve was all you could see.

“You - you left me,” you hissed accusingly. Your knees were trembling and you tried to sink to the ground, only to have Steve surge forward and catch your arms. You let him.   
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Steve whispered into your hair. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never do anything like that again.”

“You fucking bastard,” you managed, sagging back into his hold. 

Steve said nothing, only helped you into the house and slid your shoes from your aching feet. He went to hold your hands and then flinched, getting up to turn up the heating before coming back.

Minutes ticked by but you were still shivering. Steve seemed to be battling with himself but then sighed and dragged you onto his lap. He hissed at the icy chill of your flesh, pressing his face into your neck and warming it up with warm puffs of air. 

The silence became too much to bear. “Why did you do that to me?”

A pause. “You think I did that on purpose?”

“I know you did.”

Steve brushed back hair from your neck, pressing a chaste kiss there. “I needed to know if you’d come back to me.”

“What?”

“If,” he cleared his throat, “if, given the chance, you’d come back to me instead of running off.”

You let your eyes flutter shut. How _stupid_. Running away hadn’t even occurred to you. All you’d been able to think about was Steve and how much you didn’t want to be alone. And now, there you were. Nestled back into Steve’s arms and this time it was your doing. No-one had forced you back. 

Steve continued on. "You did, baby. You came back to me. I don't think you can understand how happy that makes me."

You waited for the tears to come. They didn’t. Slowly you turned to face Steve. “Never, _ever_ , do that again.”

Steve’s eyes shone. “I won’t, baby. I swear I’ll never let you out of my sight again.”

He meant it. You weren’t angry or even scared. Instead you focused on the way your hands were steadily warming up in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave a comment to let me know what you think! Comments can literally make my day 🥺


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all circles back around in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!

The days passed quicker now that you weren’t counting. You forced yourself to take them as they were. One at a time. Whenever it became difficult, you’d remind yourself that you’d done it before - you could do it again. 

Self-awareness was your worst enemy. Not resisting Steve made you feel lazy, like you were just giving in. But whenever you did, it was _exhausting_. A kind of bone-deep fatigue that took you days to shake.

Steve, for the most part, was happy. Irritatingly so. Sometimes you caught yourself smiling back at him, reaching for his hand, and then the reality of the situation would slam into you full-force. 

Then came the startling realisation that the only way you could be happy in this situation was if you didn’t think about it. You’d been dealt your cards and now you had to work with them. 

You thought about Peggy a lot. Wondered if she’d maybe changed her mind and call back or maybe even call the police. She never did. But, of course, the phone had no signal so sometimes you liked to entertain yourself with little day dreams. 

You imagined that Steve had apologised for calling you a slut that day. In a genuine, heart-felt way rather than just because he had to. He’d take you on a date, wine and dine you, and then he’d take you back to his and the sex would be so good. Better because you’d be able to let yourself enjoy it.

Loki would meet up with you sometimes and you’d introduce him to Peggy. The three of you would become inseparable. You’d learn each other’s darkest secrets and guard them with your lives. It would be an epic kind of friendship.

Eventually, you’d move in with Steve on your own steam. Settle down a little. Maybe the pair of you would move out of the apartment complex and buy a neat little house. Steve could let you work with him, earn your own money and spend a more time around each other. It would be bliss. 

Your reality wasn’t all that much different. In a way, you had moved out of the apartment complex. You were settling down with Steve (even if it wasn’t what you’d chosen). There was no Peggy or Loki but hey - Steve kept you enough company. It wasn’t as if you were lonely. 

It was exhausting trying to pick out all the positives. 

With the first snowfall came a bitter ache for New York. No matter what dingy apartment you’d been living in or how many jobs you had, Christmas in New York had always brightened up your day a little. All the lights, people traveling to see their families, Christmas music. You missed it so much that it made your eyes water.

Steve had brushed away your tears and softly asked, “How about a Christmas tree, baby? I’ll let you pick out some decorations, too.”

So, you’d sat with Steve, thighs pressed against each other, flicking through a catalogue crammed full of Christmas. It was only late November (you didn’t stop to think how long you’d been with Steve) but it made you smile, nonetheless. 

You hadn’t been awake to see the tree or decorations arrive. It was definitely on purpose. Regardless, you forced yourself to grin and open the boxes. Again, you wondered how many people actually new the reality of the situation. 

A few minutes later and your grin wasn’t so forced. It had been a long time since you’d spent Christmas with another person. It would have been a lie to say you weren’t excited. 

Steve had crowded around you, helping you pull glass baubles from carefully wrapped packages. “I can’t wait for you to open your presents, baby.”

“But I - I haven’t got you anything,” you’d answered, immediately feeling foolish. Your cheeks heated and you pressed your hands against them, urging them to cool. 

“That’s okay,” Steve had teased, “the only thing I want is sitting right in front of me.”

It had been cheesy and you’d laughed. Moments like that always made you fuzzy-headed, always made you search for a trace of the man who had stalked you and taken you. You searched and searched but you never could find him.

A few weeks later and it Christmas had come. Steve had given you a present on the five days leading up to Christmas, too. Socks, a coat, some blouses and some comfy looking shoes. You had tried not to spend too long on the shoes, though for a long while after you were wondering what they meant. 

Christmas Day had been like nothing you’d ever experienced before. Steve had dug an old radio out of God-knows where and had blasted classic Christmas songs the entire morning. He’d sat with you, nursing a cup of coffee and holding a camera and watched you open the small mountain of presents he’d got you.

It had reminded you of when you were little, opening presents in front of your parents as they snapped photos and sipped glasses of wine. An early morning Christmas treat. You’d teared up a little and Steve had held you, peppering kisses on your face before encouraging you to open the rest.

There had seemed to be a theme. Clothes, a lot of them. A camera of your own. Bedding, pillows and, bizarrely enough, a some bags. You’d tried them all on at Steve’s behest, parading yourself up and down the living room and trying not to laugh too hard. 

Steve cooked but, this time, he had let you help him. He’d made sure he was always between you and the knives, though. You didn’t notice, not until you were laying in bed that night with Steve’s face pressed into your hair. All you’d been focused on was cooking and enjoying yourself. It was becoming less of a chore and more natural. 

It had been a really, really good Christmas.

Now, two days after Christmas, and you were still stuffed full of Christmas dinner. You were curled up with Steve on the sofa, sporting your newest pair of pyjamas. On the front, in a bold font, they read ‘Daddy’s Girl’. It didn’t even phase you.

Steve was reading a book, using one hand to turn the pages whilst keeping the other tucked closest around you. His hand was over your breast, absentmindedly stroking your nipple into hardness. You whimpered and shifted slightly. He didn’t even know he was doing it.

“Hmmm?” He looked up. “Oh, sorry, baby. Is Daddy making you horny?” 

_“Steve,_ ” you said firmly, pushing his arm away. 

He chuckled a little and you sighed, relived. Sometimes he was a little more pushy but tonight, it seemed, he was just teasing. He liked to do that, too. Tease you until you were begging for mercy, for him to actually touch you. Begging was one of his favourite things, he’d told you. He never took you apart until you asked. 

Maybe you were’t the only one who was constantly thinking about the situation.

His eyes flickered over you, taking in your pyjamas. “Why aren’t you wearing some of your new clothes?”

“These are comfy,” you shrugged, “and it - it’s not like I have anywhere to actually go.”

It always surprised you how easy it was to just say it. Like it wasn’t some big secret or a taboo subject. Steve never told you off, either. He genuinely believed he’d done the best thing for you in taking you away.

Steve hummed, biting on his bottom lip as he closed his book. “I suppose it’s a better idea to save them for the trip, anyway.”

“What?”

“So you have some new clothes,” he continued, not noticing the shell-shocked look on your face. “Every woman I’ve ever met goes shopping before a big trip so I did it for you.”

Lungs constricting, you struggled to breathe. It was impossible to focus, all you could hear was one word - trip. A trip. 

Steve was taking you away.

And, disturbingly, you weren’t sure if you wanted to go.

“No - no,” you cried, scrubbing at your face with your hands. “I can’t leave. I can’t.”

Steve looked shocked, staring at you for a moment before surging forward and pulling your hands from your face. The book fell to the floor, forgotten. Dimly, you registered the sound of it thumping against the floor. 

Oh, no. That was your heart trying to beat its way from your chest. You pressed your hand over it, feeling the way it was thump, thump, thumping.

Steve brushed hair from your face with shaky hands. “Baby, calm down for me. Right now. You’re going to have a heart attack!”

Steve was shouting, you were shouting. None of your senses were working. It was as if your soul had detached itself from your body. Too much stress could do that to a person, right?

It wasn’t until Steve grabbed you by the face and shook you that you came back. It was a slow process, like walking through knee-high mud, but you were coming back. You weren’t sure if you wanted to. Drifting off seemed ideal.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “come back to me. Listen to me, okay, baby?”

You were shaking hard. Steve pulled you into his chest and deftly arranged you on his lap until you were surrounded by him. His body, his cologne, the feeling of his cotton shirt beneath your fingers. 

And that was the problem. 

If - when you left here, you would no longer be surrounded. It wouldn’t just be you and Steve. Escape wasn’t possible in this house - but it might be wherever he took you. He’d given you clothes, right? So, assumably, he was going to take you out. He trusted you enough to do that.

And it was scary because you knew he was right to do so. 

A life without Steve seemed odd. Like a weird concept you’d only just heard of. After so many months sharing the same space, Steve not being there made you afraid. Steve was a poison but he was also the only one with the antidote. 

You remembered how scared you’d felt when he’d left you outside. There had been no thoughts of escape then - only Steve. You couldn’t see it being any different on your little trip. Even the idea of letting go of his hand was nauseating. 

Steve was humming softly, brushing hair from your face and rocking you slightly. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have told you like that. I just - I thought you would be excited.”

“I’m scared,” you moaned, grabbing at his shirt. “I want it to stay good. I don’t want to think about it - what this really is.”

“What this really is?” He repeated, tilting your head with his finger. “This is a loving relationship, baby. It took a while to get here but we did. You did. I won’t let you go back.”

Somehow, you found comfort in the twisted words. Was it really that surprising? Steve had done everything for you in these past few months - pretty much even thought for you. In return, he’d wanted your undivided attention. You’d given it to him. 

But outside, there was so much more to think about. So much more to do, places to go and people to see. God, Peggy. Loki. What if you saw them? What would you say?

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he reminded you. “If you want to stay in all day, then we’ll do that.”

“I - I might want to do that,” you admitted. “At first, at least.”

The subject of Peggy and Loki was one for another day. There was still the matter of what she’d said to you and how you felt about it. 

“That’s okay,” he assured you, kissing your forehead. “I just thought you might like to go back in the next few days. All the Christmas stuff will still be up and I know you love it.”

You imagined it. Walking the streets of New York, tucked up in a fluffy coat with Steve’s hand in yours. Shopping for sales, eating Christmas food, hearing the songs. In every scenario, Steve was there. 

There was no New York without Steve. There was no anywhere without Steve. Not anymore. 

Again, self-awareness niggled at the back of your mind. Separation anxiety, right? Dogs and cats got it sometimes. You huffed a laugh. You were no animal but apparently that was what Steve had reduced you to. There was no bitterness accompanying the thought, only acceptance. 

For so long, you’d clung to your own independence. Then it had been torn from you and, for the first time, you’d fully relied on someone else. Independence was a freedom and a privilege but it came with its negatives. You’d lived with them until you’d met Steve.

Being cared for was. . .unlike anything you’d ever known. Peggy had tried but you’d never allowed it for long. Stubbornness still reared its ugly head every now and again but it was easier to push it aside. Easier to look to Steve for what you needed and expect him to give it to you.

He always had. 

Things could change. God, things could really change. You'd had a lifetime's worth of change in the past few months. The future was unpredictable and that gave you more hope than you ever could have asked for. 

You’d been dealt your cards and now you’d work with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sure this was unsatisfying for some of you :( but I hope you enjoyed the journey nonetheless! It’s been months since I started C:D and I can’t believe it’s over! I hope to see you on my next dark fic ;)
> 
> p.s. I am more than happy to offer headcanons on Tumblr if anyone wants to ask for a particular scenario or where Steve and Reader are at now!


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